So I saw the reactions to the October 1 story (LINK) on Twitter and I believed them, not because I know the people involved or there’s proof, but because I know what men are capable of. That was a victim’s story so I understand the scepticism displayed by readers.
Here’s one from a villain.
I have a dysfunctional background, my parents were never married, father had lots of children (just less than a football team) from lots of women (a little more than the referee group). I never lived with my dad, he visited when he could but I knew he loved me immensely. Grew up as my mother’s only child, she’s quite well to do so naturally she spoilt me silly.
In my teens, my mother always told me not to have sex with anyone I couldn’t see myself marrying and she always insisted on meeting my girlfriends. In my early 20s, the girl I was dating got pregnant and naturally, I was defiant about it. She found out I was cheating with someone she knew, we had a big fight and a week after she calls me to say she’s pregnant. I asked for an abortion, told her I wasn’t interested in the relationship anymore, checked all the boxes you’d expect of a douchebag. Somehow, my mother found out, called up her parents and without our consent both our mothers started planning a wedding.
I liked the girl, otherwise I wouldn’t have gone through all the stress of dating but I didn’t think I was ready for marriage. My mother on the other hand, was having none of it. I had gotten a girl pregnant and I was going to marry her. I tried to reason with her, I didn’t have a job or any steady streams of income, I had no way of bearing the responsibility for a wife and a newborn. My mother waved my concerns off and promised me a house and a salary from her pocket till I found a job. It would be easy for me to say I was coerced into the marriage or worse manipulated, but I wasn’t. But I could have objected, I could have left. I went through with it, because I saw that she was only trying to secure for me, something she was never allowed to have; a security of a proper union, the promise of a happy marriage. I was so young.
We got married, and our baby came five months after. 3 months after the baby, I travelled for an MSc. Wifey visited a month after I got there and came home pregnant. I made sure of it, I had to get her pregnant so she won’t “cheat on me”. See how men think.
It must have been hell for her having a baby and a pregnancy at the same time and no husband around to help but my wife rallied and ran our home all by herself. I had no cause for concern. I finished my MSc a year after and came back to Nigeria. It took me an extra year but things started to change for us and I got a job in my field, we had finally caught a break. One of the prerequisites was a mandatory training exercise in the US, and for the second time in our very young marriage, I packed up and left my wife with alone with a baby and a toddler. Soon as I got there, I started fucking one of my colleagues. It should have been a fling, but before long it careened into a full-blown affair that we continued even after we returned from the training exercise and settled into our jobs in Nigeria.
A few months after, I met another girl at an event and had a drunken fling. Of course I was drunk and I didn’t use protection. So when the babe came to me with a pregnancy, I couldn’t deny it wasn’t mine. She told me she wanted to keep it, I got mad, sent her money for D&C and forgot about her. A month after, at my son’s birthday party, this girl shows up at my house with her friend who was having an affair with one of my friends. My friend was there as well, so he was able to rein both of them in and keep the situation in check. The girl actually introduced herself to my wife and struck up a conversation with her. She was so cordial I assumed all was well.
I stupidly assumed the D&C was a done deal until I ran into my friend’s girlfriend a few months after and asked after her, the reply I got shook me. My fling was still very pregnant. I called her up and she said she kept it and insisted it was mine. There wasn’t anything I could do, so I waited for the baby arrival, did a DNA test, confirmed it was mine. It was hard, but a child wasn’t something I could hide from my wife. She was mad, but she stayed.
Few months after, my wife found out about my first (office) affair. Yes, that had still been going on. I told her this woman was a friend and my wife had really put her all into growing a friendship with my office fling. She was very mad, madder than when she found out about my Baby Mama situation but she stayed. Thanks to her parents. Their argument was “he doesn’t hit you, he provides for the home”. Please stay and honour your vows.
There was relative peace for a while, then I met someone again and lost my senses. My wife found out again. At this point I think she had become numb to me cheating. She was determined to do all she could to change this loser. She hit the gym, paid more attention to her hair and nails, bought new clothes. It didn’t help. You see, she wasn’t the problem, I was.
I got promoted a few times, salary went up to 7 figures, it was very easy getting laid and I tried to sleep with as many women as I could. There were just so many of them I got careless about it as well. I never lied about not being married, NEVER.
Twitter was my hunting ground and trust me, it’s very fertile.
I have caused this woman nothing but pain from day one. She had tried everything humanly possible to build this home and get the best for me and the kids. Every time something happens, she blames herself.
The last straw was at an event recently which she also attended. A few days later, she found out my mistress was at the same event. It’s not the fact I cheated that got to her, it’s the disrespect. The fact my friends were there.
Right now, I deserve whatever I get from her. I think I outdid myself this time, I think I’ve lost her for good this time.
I showed these traits from the beginning: selfishness, no regard for her feelings, cheated from day one, just wanted to be a babyboy forever. She felt she could change me, MISTAKE. Don’t marry a man thinking he’ll change, there’s nothing but PAIN waiting. If you’re in a relationship with someone and you see traits you can’t deal with, it’s a red flag.
Is my background to blame for this? I honestly don’t know. Being faithful was never in my dictionary, I didn’t grow up around any men who could serve as role models for faithful relationships. It was okay to be a “bad guy”, my father was one, why couldn’t I be one too? By the time I realized that’s not the way to go, it was already too late.
I hope sharing this saves someone from heartbreak, or inspires a randy loser like me to change his ways before it’s too late.
I expect a lot of backlash from this, but before y’all dish out insults, remember some of our mothers went through worse and stayed. They just don’t make women like my wife anymore. She deserves a better man than she got.
We’re accepting any stories about serial sexual predators on social media, from any angle, real stories or opinion pieces. Entries should reach firstname.lastname@example.org before the 10th of October. Read the call for submissions here [LINK].