The Lekki Liar

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I used to say ‘if it looks too good to be true, it usually is’. My theory was proven right a little more than three months ago.

Let me start with some background information about myself so you’ll get a little acquainted with where I’m coming from.

I’m from a highly dysfunctional family. My parents were living together and did only the traditional introduction, they never married. My mom had constant miscarriages when my father impregnated another woman. This other woman would then call the house and threaten my mother to leave ‘her’ husband’s house. My mom would tell my dad about the anonymous calls and he would brush them off as ‘prank calls’.

You see, my dad was, is and will forever be an accomplished liar. It’s not something I’m proud to admit to anyone, but I’ve accepted it as my cross. I have a liar as a father, I’ll do myself good to work hard and be the direct opposite. It’s not easy, it’s actually a depressing reality, but it’s MY reality.

The other woman eventually summoned the courage and came to the house with a big belly and met my mother. The cat was out of the bag and pops couldn’t deny at this point. My over-understanding mother allowed the woman move in and that was her biggest mistake. She had twin boys for my father. Long story short, the new woman and her mother got diabolical and my mom had to leave to save her life. Pops went to my mother some weeks later and convinced her he had driven the other woman away. My mother believed, came back and after some weeks, realised it was a lie. My dad had put them in a rented apartment and had even gone to pay the other woman’s dowry. My mom left for good this time but she was pregnant. With me.

Let me put this out there: I have a big issue with lying. Do I lie? Of course, I’m human. Am I good at it? Damn right! Do I lie often? NO. But you see, my father lies about EVERYTHING. The sky, the weather, his health, his family, his business, my mom even says his birthday is probably a lie. So it’s a big burden when your father speaks to you and you don’t know if it’s a lie or if it’s true. You realise you’d rather be safe to believe whatever he spews is a lie. Most times, it usually is. Not having a father you can believe in, even slightly, is a girl’s worst nightmare.

I grew up with my mom and my half-brother (my mom had tried to re-marry. Didn’t work out). Life was simple and beautiful in Festac till my mother had a stroke shortly after we moved to Abuja and had to move closer to family in Asaba. I came to live with my dad, his wife and my half-brothers during NYSC in 2010 and realised my mom had been fair to him and had kept the bad sides of him from me. Sure, she’d told me some truths but I got to realise how bad he was when I moved in. Anyway, the point here is I know how a lying mind works to an extent now, so let’s fast forward to 2013.

I work in a bank in Lekki. This guy comes in asking for one of those services the bank doesn’t offer. He’s not a bad-looking dude but he acts entitled and pompous so the meeting doesn’t really end well. Fast forward to 2014, I start following this intelligent guy on twitter because I have a weakness for smart asses (I broke up with the hottest, most caring guy because he’s not an intellectual). Move to 2015, I realise the smart ass is the same annoying guy from 2013. So I chip a comment asking him to be less grumpy when next he visits the bank and he says ‘ok, say hello next time’.

He visits the bank weeks later and I walk up to say hello and direct messages (DMs) came in after that. They were totally harmless, I was being friendly, I still have the DMs. We met up outside his house some days later and basically lamented about the fuel scarcity together. It was the first time I’d sit with someone and talk for hours at a first ‘meeting’. Simple, fluid conversations without a lot of effort. I was giddy!

We exchanged pins and numbers that night and the calls started. He invited me to spend the night at a house he had somewhere in Ajah about a week after. I felt that was too early in our acquaintance and told him, so he eased off and said we’d just chill and see movies, then I’d go home.ย  I thought about it, berated myself for being too uptight and I agreed.

We didn’t even get to see the first 20 mins of the movie, we made out and he kept trying to initiate sex. At some point, I lashed out and he backed down. There was something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Eventually we did have sex a week later, it wasn’t totally consensual. He used the ‘don’t worry I won’t go in’ line. Stupid me, I fell for it. I felt terrible immediately, maybe because I’m not a fan of casual sex but deep down, I knew that wasn’t it. It just felt wrong, I felt convenient.

I found out the next day that he was married. You cannot imagine how I felt. Sucker-punched. I felt used, abused, violated, manipulated, angry, I’d let myself down. I was almost sick. Why did he have to lie? To what end? Nigga is a successful lawyer (read liar), smart, witty, intelligent, popular. So why?
And why ME? This guy is a successful writer, blogger, radio talk-show guest speaker, political critic, economic critic, the whole works.

I learnt he’d done it to some other girl before; he had lied that his wife was his sister until someone exposed him. I also learnt he’d raped a member of his church who had to relocate to Abuja when the shame was unbearable. I became obsessed with learning the truth, and found out he had a joint account with his wife in my branch. What pained me though was that Google brought up nothing about his being married. I had checked him out on Google when we had first started talking just to be careful. Till now, I still feel betrayed by Google.

I didn’t tell him my findings. I recalled how on earlier occasions he’d ask me if I could date a married man and I’d say never. Then he’d ask if I could date a man who was separated and I’d say never. Then he’d ask if I could date a divorcee and I’d say, it was possible but not an option I’d like to be faced with. The questions finally made sense. I also remember how I’d say to him ‘anything that looks too good to be true usually is’ and he’d lambast me for my pessimism and tell me how I was going to destroy a good thing with my doubts. He’d talk about love and beg me to be his girlfriend and I’d say I didn’t know him well enough yet.

I started planning with my friends on how to embarrass him publicly. I was wounded. I have a couple of friends who are mutual friends with his wife from secondary school and university. That was how I found out about the marriage. I had casually mentioned it to my girls that there was a new guy who seemed like a perfect fit and when I mentioned his name, one of them responded with ‘he’s married to so and so person’.

I showed up at his home in Lekki one day to throw him off balance. His wife was home. I knew because he kept trying to keep me from coming but I wasn’t having it. Then he told me some preposterous story about his neighbour having an accident at home: she’d fallen down the stairs, an ambulance was outside and how he was at her house and couldn’t leave her bedside just yet (all this was to buy time for his wife to leave the house. I was parked outside). After some minutes, he claimed the neighbour was now discussing business and he didn’t know how to get off. I responded with ‘tell her you left something on and you need to go turn it off before your house catches fire. Your house will burn in 10 minutes’. When his wife was finally about to drive out he said, ‘I’m home, where are you?’. I responded with ‘liar, I’m outside your house’. As a sharp brother, he responded with ‘I went in through the back gate’ (I knew there was no back gate). Then he went ‘my sis is about to drive out, let me open the gate for her’ and I sat there and watched in disbelief as his wife drove out while he pretended to be on the phone so as not to acknowledge my presence till she left. I watched knowing what he was doing in awe. The part that disgusted me though was when he tried to take me to his matrimonial bedroom. I was sick to my stomach. I hated him in that moment and told him I had to leave. That was the day I knew I had to show him. It was unfair to his wife. It was unfair to me. I’m pretty sure that’s the pattern my father had perfected. This lover of mine was like a mini version of the man.

The plans to embarrass him didn’t work as he never showed for the proposed hangout with my friends and I. He was smart about it. When I couldn’t deal anymore, I made him meet me at work on a weekend and confronted him with his wedding pictures I’dย  gotten from his wife’s instagram. His response of ‘I knew you would find out because you’re friends with so and so person, let me explain’ enraged the devil in me. So he knew his wife and I had mutual friends (which was why he never showed for the hangouts. Wise bastard that he is). I was so freaking mad I wasn’t having any explanation so I walked him out.

After a week of mulling it over and simmering down, I made another foolish decision, I decided to hear him out (I’m so stupid). I needed to know why. There too many unanswered questions in my head. We met up and he gave me a sob story of how he had been having communication issues with his wife and thought that if he proposed, things would get better but they didn’t so he was currently separated from his wife and processing a divorce. He spoke about how a broken marriage isn’t something you’re proud of so you don’t publicise it which explained why people didn’t know (this made sense) apart from his immediate family. I did the next stupid thing, I somewhat could see the sense in what he was saying (they sounded logical) and I decided to believe some of it (foolishness doesn’t get any higher than this). He apologised about not telling me he was married, begged with everything pure on the face of the earth and I decided I was being too judgmental (you see why they call women gullible). I even attacked him about the day his wife was driving out and he claimed it was his sister. Guess his version? She lived with a friend around and needed to borrow a car and since they were not enemies, he asked her to come for one. Told some silly story of how she even tried to kiss him and he had a panic attack because I (his wonderful girlfriend to be) was outside and his estranged wife was begging for a kiss (the guy’s tales are legendary).

I told him I couldn’t trust him anymore and we couldn’t be friends but my anger was gone, he could move on with his life while I’d move on with mine. He was allowed to show me divorce papers and I’d consider taking his story seriously. Unfortunately, I wasn’t being wise at all. I felt I had found him out, he had apologised and everything was over. I let my guard down again and decided that people couldn’t be that bad, he was probably someone who had made some bad decisions and just needed help. BIG MISTAKE. We were at it again. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. He’d come to visit, we’d talk, banter, argue, laugh. A part of me knew, deep down that he was lying. Sometimes I’d berate myself for being such a doubting Thomas, other times it’d be so glaringly obvious I’d stop talking to him for days. But I couldn’t specifically say what it was he lied about. He was playing mind games and winning, I was losing. I knew.

Imagine my renewed outrage when I found out that even the second phase of the friendship was a farce and it was something he did as a pastime: slide into DMs, be nice and witty just to get some. Me, who lives with the chief of all liars got fooled by a learner. Me, who considers myself smarter than the average doe-eyed female. He didn’t even fool me once, he fooled me TWICE! Even told me another version of the rape story, about how the sex was consensual but the girl claimed it was rape because she had a boyfriend and she was ashamed.

My birthday was around the corner, so I waited to hear the tale he would tell just to avoid celebrating me as a friend. He didn’t disappoint at all. He gave one see-through lie of how his phone crashed on that day, he forgot, thought it was the next day, blablabla…that’s when I decided I needed to find out the truth for myself. I stopped speaking to him for good. I knew the numerous lies, but I didn’t know the truth and everything was beginning to mess my head up.

I found a way to meet his wife and ask questions. I found out that there was no separation, no divorce, and no marital issues. They live together, they’ve been married for almost 2 years, their home is his family home which they moved into when his mom died last year (he claimed he rented it himself after his mom died because he needed a bigger house for his siblings and himself just to keep up the Lekki big boy charade).

Some wounded lioness apparently anonymously went to subdeliveryman to embarrass him on twitter but it didn’t work.ย  I was monumentally shocked out of my senses when other people began to confirm the stories and other women and another house in Yaba. I was dumbfounded. He brushed it off like an unfounded rumour and has moved on, happy with the new followers the publicity has gained him. I remember one time he was upset because of a Twitter glitch that made him lose about 3 thousand followers and the joy he used in announcing when the glitch was corrected. He feeds off his alter-ego on twitter, he’ll probably die without it. He could never miss a twitter organised event, it was always an opportunity to shine.

His wife wanted proof. I had none. I wasn’t asking her questions to give her armour. I needed the truth. Whatever she wanted to do was her own choice, marriages have survived worse. I was just tired of wondering, I needed the full story. Now that I know the truth, and that he has a long list of victims, he has to regret ever looking at me and thinking ‘this one looks stupid enough to be manipulated’. I admit he is skilled at what he does, he deserves either an award or psychological help because he has deep sated issues. The kind we only watch displayed by serial offenders on T.V. Be it serial rapists, killers or paedophiles.

I’m not about to let it go. It has to end and I need help.

His name is [redacted by editor] on twitter. He’s a serial sexual predator and this is a true story.


Do these stories seem familiar to you? Have you discovered you were part of a long line of charmed lovers who had no business being in certain romantic situations? Share your story at Entries close in 9 days.ย 


Photo courtesy of @KitchenButterfly (Instagram)


I love to learn. I love to teach. For me the two are the same.


  • Worried reader. says:

    I am very worried for you cos you still sound deeply in love with him. And he will most probably have you whenever he wants. No offence, but if he cud nack u after 2 weeks of your first meeting then you had it coming. He needs psychological help, but you need a double doze of help. Your dad must have done more psychological damage to you than you realise, you are the real one in need of help. He’s a douchebag, agreed, there are tons of those around. But babes like you empower douchebags like that. Get a grip, learn your mistakes and move on with your life. He certainly has.

    P.S. By the way, I am smart, witty, intelligent, good lookin..(and loaded) wht’s ur twitter handle ? Perhaps i can nack as well. …Do you get the point now ?

    • Lekki Big Boy says:

      You #%&%##… You wanna sexually defraud her too?

      Dear author, I’m almost married, I won’t lie to you like the demon or your father. There’s an opening for a side chick with me. Shey you’ll come and collect? Even after I get married, we can still run package. I will even rent an apartment for you because…. Lekki Big Boy

    • Yomah says:

      You’re obviously not okay upstairs Mr worried reader. In fact you’re silly and very poorly behaved.

      Of course shame the victim not the culprit. Rubbish behaviour.

    • Tolu says:

      Loooool. did you have an abnormal childhood? Was your father present? Did he equally have an abnormal childhood.
      I’m equally a worried reader of this very shallow comment…

    • Ari says:

      Funny you guys are just overlooking the alleged rape issue. I’ve heard different stories from different anons with similar elements,the rape gist always comes up. If this is true, It’s really disgusting . To the lady; there’s no need telling his wife,she knows.

    • Eloka ! says:

      Lol so true , she sold herself cheap n decides to blame d man, you need to understand yourself better or perhaps try being a better you ; the flash n shine is not everything dear ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Zeus says:

      Loooool you wanna nack her too?

      Lemme tell you no matter how smart a babe you are, there are thousands of guys smarter, its the way we were set up, women are weaker vessels all you have to do is to be composed and be watchful and you dont have to contact him again cos the way it seems if this guy starts ur matter again you will fall for him again and again

    • Kako says:

      Mr. Worried reader, I must say I respect your comment. OUR EMOTIONS SHOULDN’T CLOUD OUR JUDGEMENT. Abeg bone other responses to you comment… TRUTH IS BITTER! Alas!

  • Sly one says:

    This story sounds like they are talking about @kaelo

  • Goldenwura says:

    My heart goes out to you Dear. What I’d like to know is how you don’t have any proof to show his wife. Maybe she really needs something concrete that she can throw in his face, how about your chats, dms and whatnot?
    You should try to help her because she’s a nice person to have met with you and he has probably been manipulating her the same way he’s done you and the other girls.

  • Hehehe says:

    Kaykay the serial Liar.. Loool.. These guys dunno that they will never escape karma in life sha. That is what they do, all those guys who bonded over playing footie with the Red Devils of TPL. Most of them are married guys who cheat wantonly on their spouses. I am not surprised at all. If only most of you know what goes down off Twitter among Twitter folk. To the author of this post, you need to forget about this guy, he will be punished by fate in due time. And you have to forgive yourself for being fooled and move on. Time will teach him a lesson he will never forget.

  • missjones says:

    Eeerr… I don’t subscribe to that line of thought. Matter of fact, I’m glad u didn’t give her any proof, you’ll forever be an accessory to her destroyed marriage. If she wants proof that her husband is an efulefu of a man then she should go all Hollywood and pay someone to find out. My guess is, she knew before u came along. Number 2: Let it go! He’s not worth it abeg. E don happen, e don happen, so forgive yourself and move on. Number 3: Ignore Mr Worried reader and all others who will use this as an opportunity to disrespect you. You’ll find a better man eventually but please let it go, it’s ultimately childish.

  • Amarachi says:

    I am not sorry to say this but lady U are a big fool and might even be the greatest to walk the surface of this earth. U lack common sense. Stop this bullshit of your father is a liar so bla bla bla. U should have learnt enough from your father and his ways. Why do U keep going back to this so called married man. Maybe it’s because of bomb sex that U can’t stay away…it has to be. The signs were there but I feel you are making excuses for him. First, second, third lie…etc and U are still hanging around. I am sure even after this exposing post if he comes back U will open your legs and receive him. See ehn U women from dysfunctional background, who have experienced the worst we expect U to be better but No, U keep encouraging bastards like this guy to carry on. Which one is U want to give his wife evidence so that what will happpen. Uthink she doesn’t know of her husband ways. Oh puleez, I take God or amadioha or Ogun whatever U worship beg U. See a therapist and work on yourself. Block, del or remove anything that has to do with that man from yourself. Help yourself so in future you don’t rear a daughter who will be foolish like you. U seriously need help change your friends and maybe environment. Seal your vagina and kneel down and ask god to save you from that sex cos it has messed with your head. I will pray for U though I don’t know you cos U need help.
    stop being foolish and embarrassing the women folk . In Nigeria foolish women don’t succeed at all. Chaii but this your story ehn…
    and those of you on twitter suggesting names of people or even tweeting at people because you think they are the ones stop it. It ain’t funny at all. Let’s be serious here. The woman is to blame kpomkwem.

  • Dami says:

    My heart goes out to you. First off it’s ok to admit you made a mistake but our mistakes don’t define us, no it’s how we behave after that does, as long as you stay angry he would have power over you and i know it’s not easy but let go and let God i really think you should pray and ask God for help, for grace and strength to move past the hurt. The Lord is your strength. you are not stupid for loving someone you are human peace dearie ?

  • The Beyonder says:

    Can’t see why there isn’t any proof.

  • M. says:

    This comment I am directing at highlandblue; I believe you are in charge of this platform. I’m going to be very straightforward.

    The first thing I read here was “October Call for Sumbissions.” To quote you, “We want to hear your stories…you can send entries to us anonymously, or if youโ€™re past caring, send it to us as yourself. We will listen, we will empathize, we will not judge…we will moderate twitter discussions about this and connect people to others who have valuable experience with being in situations like this. Most importantly we will give you a platform.”

    Now I understand that when a person lays their story bare for all to read, they cannot possibly hope to control reactions or expect total empathy. HOWEVER, the whole point of this series, I imagine, is to provide a safe and free space for people to tell stories that are hard to tell. This is your project and you are responsible for moderation. How can you reconcile inviting people’s stories with allowing commenters like “Worried Reader” slip through the cracks?

    I don’t want to tell you how to run your show but understand that you have asked someone to tell their story and left them open to disrespect. I’m not asking that all dissenting comments be barred. That would be unrealistic & dictatorial censorship. All I’m saying is, put yourself in this author’s shoes. Worried Reader’s comment is very disturbing to say the least. I hope to submit an entry to at some point in the future, and I would hate for some cretin to try to make me feel small in the comments section.

    • highlandblue says:

      Thank you very much

    • Jane Aluko says:

      It doent make any sense to moderate the comments.if she needs consolation she shouod find it in a confession box but if she wants to know what we really think about it all, accurate reactions is what she should is not a reality TV show!

    • Jane Aluko says:

      It makes no sense to moderate the comments.if she needs consolation she shouod find it in a confession box but if she wants to know what we really think about it all, accurate reactions is what she should is not a reality TV show! Shikena!

    • Chelsea says:

      I completely agree with “M.” ‘s comment.
      Be selective with the kind of people you allow comment on this blog. If it’s nothing consturctive, block them for life.!

  • Chilling Guy says:

    It’s been a long day without you my friend and I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again….

  • Laura says:

    Lol. My dear leave that fool, I have been in your shoes and don’t think his wife is not aware , she is very aware. Stop making yourself a toy for this idiot. We all have stories my dear. There is nothing you can do because you are not God.
    They will continue to lie and lie and lie, while at it, accept the fact that you are a #$%%. YES. You came easy and found out yet you are still there. Take care.

  • hueytempah says:

    Worried reader Nd amarachi u guys are in point lmao …. Yo we are to be blamed for our action .. he Fooled u twice shame on you

  • Argonath says:

    Her story is similar to several littering twitter streets, blames won’t fix anything she just needs to talk to a professional about it because she could slide back to him.

    But wow tho, the heart of man truly is desperately wicked.

  • Elizabeth says:

    Proof? Wife? I don’t think his wife would appreciate you coming forward. It will be a slap on her face. Since you said you’ve got mutual friends maybe they can let the wife in on her husband’s misbehavior.

  • Candor says:

    So let me understand this, a young man has sex with a married man, unfortunately She didn’t kno of his marital status. She eventually came to find out about him being married, rather than running as far away as possible she decides to hang around just to see if his tales about getting a divorce are true. So if truly this man was filing for a divorce, what will now happen?
    Lady let me tell you how this will work. 1) You help his wife in acquiring the evidence she asked for (cos you seem hell bent on revenge), the wife gets angry, she threatens to leave or maybe even leave, the husband, family members and others will beg the wife, blame it on the devil, heck he might even become a born again Christian in the process just to show remorse. The wife forgives her husband, you become the devil who tried to ruin a happy home. The end .
    2) the wife does not forgive her husband, a few years, maybe months down to he line, he finds another wife. You still become the devil who ruined a happy home. The end.

    It’s a shame such men exist but you gotta forgive yourself for what’s happened and let it go. focus on your life and don’t waste any more precious moments on this. And come to think of it, did the man ask you to marry him or did he say even ask you to be his girlfriend before you slept with him? He didn’t promise you anything so what were you expecting from him?

  • Oha Soup says:

    Aunty, pls move on. Instead of trying to hurt his marriage, I’d rather you use that time to recover from the feelings you have for him cos if he means nothing to you, he won’t have this much power over you or your emotions. The signs are always there. You either ignore it or fail to see it but its always there. Its going to be hard letting go but when this storm passes, you will appreciate not bringing his marriage into this. Trust me. There are a lot of us that have been nacked and will still be nacked by married men claiming single baby boy. PLS LET GO. God bless

  • Levinne says:

    God will guide you so you don’t make the same mistake again. Even if you do God still loves you. I pray that you learn all the lessons God intended for you through this ordeal. Be strong and move on. You will find love .All men are not the same. Cheers!

  • Oha Soup says:

    @Laura you that waited for 7yrs and after that the married man nacked you and still ran away, how are you better than the story teller pls? She gave in too easy but you gave in too hard and are OBVIOUSLY still single. Sister pls, your hypocrisy is blocking my view.

  • I like how you linked this to the fact that your father was a liar. Sigmund Freud would be pleased.


    I hope you heal in due time. The world belongs to the people with the best sleight of hand tricks.

  • Mystic says:

    Well well…….. The guy smart sha, so after discovery the first lie n discussing with ur friends dey couldn’t advise u to stop seeing the guy. Obviously u enjoyed the sex, dats why u r bitter n trying to get ur own pound of flesh. Unfortunately that won’t happen, the guy is light years ahead of u. And I can swear if the guy hav opportunity to be wit u in a room he will still nack u. O girl go for deliverance. U weakness na sex

  • Sweet says:

    Hi girl….ok let me start by saying kudos to you for sharing. Forget about your dad and forget about the guy. It seems like the worst thing but I believe it happened for a reason you would be wiser and you would meet your own man. I have my fair share of stories thank God not married guys at least at that time they weren’t married. But I’m grateful I learnt all I was supposed to. Make sure you don’t listen to any stories he has to give again and learn this it is ok to break up cos it doesn’t feel right that’s reason enough don’t be scared of what can be or couldn’t be. Just as you say ok id be your girlfriend you can say ok iv had enough. You are smart it takes nothing from you that you met him. And it’s not about you or anything just forget him.

  • Egoyibo says:

    I have been in a similar situation. It sucks to be fooled. It sucks even more when society blames you and not the philanderer. The sexism blows!

  • Stroller in ze park says:

    Hi Dear,

    1. Not all men are liars.
    2. You deserve better.
    3. Would have been nicer if we could have gotten more detail but the little you gave already points at a few people.
    4. Don’t hang around him. The abuse will only get worse.
    5. Ignore the idiots harassing you. Some of them only get to oppress people online to get some measure of power. Offline they are miserable themselves.


  • lifu says:

    dear missjones…efulefu…that’s Idoma ryyt?…am from dat part of d country tho.

    • missjones says:

      Dear Lifu, I really had no idea that efulefu is Idoma. I picked it up from someone, and assumed it to be pidgin with Igbo origins. I hope the meaning is not far from what I think it to be though.

      • Egusi destroyr says:

        Efulefu is igbo for a vagrant rambler living in perpetual vagabondage; who’s either predestined or intentionally vowed to remain irresponsible for life. Efulefu = eternally lost.

  • Gail says:

    Smh at the comments here. Didbweballnreadbthebsame story?

  • Anon says:

    My gripe is with Efe. Aren’t you one of the major organisers of The Tpl, a program the accused is also a part of? Have you asked for his side of the story? Is there no loyalty amongst you ‘footballers’? Aren’t you guys even friends(considering all your intellectual banter on twitter)? If the rape allegation is true, what next?
    Mehn…so many questions!
    BTW, get a grip young woman. Wa wa alright!

    • Pigeon, The Pea Eater says:

      This is immensely funny. The reason for the post was missed by most. The character in question, Uncle KayKay is pretty much a psychopath and a sociopath. Thriving off presenting a false person on social media to endear the intellectual ilk and definitely women. I mean whoat woman doesn’t like a smart sounding man. Only that this one has a pathological liar who will stop at nothing (allegedly even rape) to ensure his predatory instincts are acted up on.
      This post was made to enlighten women. Whether Efe is a TPL head huncho is irrelevant. Efe has always been a writer and an uncle agony of sorts.
      So to hell with the bro code or footballers code shit.
      They probably don’t know each other outside twitter and TPL.
      So let’s not support savage behaviour under the guise of some silliness.

  • E ! says:

    Deep down it sounds like you’re denying the Attraction you “still” have for this Nigga, evaluate that and it’d be easier for you not to be bitter ๐Ÿ™‚

  • rexpect says:

    well I wouldn’t blame d young lady its allowed for a girl to do what ever she did Asin girls dis days are so gullible so basically she shouldn’t be tagged as extremely foolish although she showed some foolish act tho I really give kudos to the guy on d smart act. Asin he really played his cards well anyway nice story #funny #foolish #lindaikeji shout out to ma best blogger

  • Babe says:

    100% certain this is KayKay.

    It is well with him. Now you are a smarter lady.

    Karma will get him.

  • TDA says:

    LMAOOOOOOO ????? Vundieeee’s comment ?????

    Heewu ?? So let me guess, baby girl hates all men now?
    Lmao. Seeing as she made the link between her recalcitrant liar of a father and pathological liar heartthrob ???
    You couldn’t decipher those links since ba? Pele love you go dey what? Alright.
    Ladies, altogether now, scream it “we gon’ be alright” ??

  • the wandering soul says:

    Forgive him,yourself. Brace up and keep moving.

  • gboukzi says:

    This is sensational! is having the day of its life! I agree that Efe should reach out to the person whose name was mentioned before he redacted it, and get his own part of the story. It’s stories you want to give people a platform to publish, not lies, especially as someone’s name was mentioned.

    The dude should also get a chance to air his story.

    I was also going to ask why, despite the promise to publish people’s stories as it is, the person whose name was mentioned was not reached to comment before this story came up, and if it was a solid move to have redacted the name; what does that take from the writer’s motive for writing on More importantly, what does it say of the chances of someone else falling into the same trap, assuming the story is true in its entirety.

    I understand the thrill of having plenty of hits and stuff on your website, to the point where right and wrong, or due process, become waived and inconsequential. Despite this however, I think this platform has an integrity and a standard to protect.

    That said, I’ll be waiting to read the “defendant” ‘s version, or at least a post from the editor saying he was reached, and he declined to comment. I don’t think anyone can know what really happened from just one side of the story; assuming that was the real intention of the writer.


    • highlandblue says:

      Actually no names were used in the post for these reasons.

      • gboukzi says:

        But there was a name in the original article sent to you, before you redacted it, yes? That’s what I meant; you have clearly shown that a name was mentioned to you, that means you know the person about whom the writer is talking.

        I think said person should be reached for his own side of the story.

        • Amanda says:

          Plus, if he wants to tell his story, he can reach out or do so on whatever platform he chooses. Please understand, despite the nature of this story, that this is not a gossip blog where he said/she said flourishes and people are ‘reached for comment’. This is a platform for real stories, people voluntarily sharing their life experiences, if they so desire, and this post is nothing less than that.

    • Amanda says:

      It’s a pity you feel this way. However, I feel I must point out to you that this is a blog, not the 9 o’clock news, and this series is about people’s stories. The names are redacted for this sole reason: there is no way to verify someone’s account of a story is true.That is left for the reader to exercise their judgement, and this is ‘due process’, as much as can be done in this informal a setting. If, for some reason, everyone can identify the characters in the post, this blog cannot be held liable for that. I however agree that you have the right to be sceptical; we all do.

  • Jay says:

    Proof for what exactly… so that the wife would leave him or what exactly?

    Getting married does not mean marrying the good parts of the other person alone. It also means living with the bad parts which she( the wife) probably knows too even before they got married.

    The issue with lies for getting laid after marriage is a common phenomenon these days especially with recently married guys. I should think you are pained because of your history with your father and your expectation of yourself.

    This experience even though seems like it made you smarter doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll marry a perfect person or find a perfect guy.

    That is Life.
    Advice: Deal with it while you live.


  • Anon says:

    What a wicked guy! Forgive yourself and move on. Women are subconsciously attracted to men like their fathers. You need to consciously seek put an honest, trustworthy guy and don’t fall for smooth talkers. Lastly revenge is childish and unnecessary. Karma will get him!

    • E.I says:

      Sorry to burst your bubble. My father was a serialllll cheat and I can’t stand cheats. Absolutely can’t. So women are NOT subconsciously or consciously attracted to men like their fathers. It’s great to give advice backed up with facts.

  • Elizabeth says:

    Proof? Wife? Trust me you don’t want to be the reason they break up. You said you’ve got mutual friends with the wife maybe they can shade some light for her about her cheating husband.

  • Mentalist says:

    So u mean someone can still be done ‘Jibiti obo’ after it was done by her father in her korokoro eyes. Nne, sieba puo osiso, gerrarrahia mehn nnamsaying! ?

  • D for D... says:

    As far as psychosis goes, whoever this guy is, he deserves to have a special category of mental disorder created exclusively for himself.
    But I fear that from the uncertainty of your tone that you’re going to play into his hands again sooner rather than later.

  • Saved says:

    Hi Poster.
    I met him sometime this year. Like you. I’m a saposexual. That caught my attention, then he put on a charade of being this sweet and kind person. That’s what got me. I was told d story of his late mother (bless her soul) his prized jewel.
    His ‘sister’ was his favorite line of excuse and the reason people spoke of his ‘wife’ was cos they had an introduction that was cut short cos something happened and they were thru… Bla bla bla.
    I was also taken to d houses at Lekki and Ajah, got wind of the 1 elsewhere (yh he likes to drop details)
    Initially, i had my doubts. I noticed a pattern that just didn’t add up. I mentioned this to him. Of course he gave another tall tale and reassured me. He’s as smooth as they come, velvety smooth.
    Yes we had sex, then his facade began to fade and my instincts were on hyper mode.
    I was adviced to be patient with him, that I was being too quick to judge, I should give him time. I spoke to him over n over, he told more lies.
    I played d fool for a while, oh I really played d fool and most times I wondered why I had to be so stupid cos of my affection for someone who obviously didn’t deserve me.
    Eventually I got tired of it all. Called it quits.
    Of course he came up with another sob story to win me back. I considered it but thank God I stuck to my instincts and didn’t go back. I asked a friend to watch out for him and help me do some snooping, nothing came up then and I just let d ‘situationship’ slide.
    Was I broken? Yes.
    Was I hurt? Of course
    I was bitter for a while then took my worries to God. He gave me d peace I needed at the moment to finish up a pending project that need my total dedication. I also found rest in him. God I mean. (He’s awesome by the way, u should consider doing same)
    Just yesterday, KayKay (as someone here called him) crossed my mind. I felt a tinge of hurt and I asked God for closure.
    I just needed to know… I prayed about it and d day came to an end.
    Then the friend I asked to snoop sent me this link today.

    I’m not shocked at all at these discoveries, even d fact that all the while I was “dating” a married man…
    He’s all my instincts warned me about and more (even though a part of me struggled to not believe it)
    Now I’ve got my ‘closure’ I don’t even know what I’m to do with it.
    I do feel really sorry for him though. And his wife.
    He is a very sick person and I can’t imagine what will drive any human to be this way. He’s very smart and uses it to spin a web of deceit to snare unsuspecting women. It’s just so sad.

    Dear poster, u need to move on… Somehow.
    To really forgive him and move on cos holding on to this kind of pain will do more hurt to you than u can ever imagine. It’s not going to be easy, u can drop a link so we can talk it out.

    Ignore the people telling you crap. A lot of them will do worse, may even be in a worse situation at d moment and are goofing just as bad. Mistakes have been made, why make some more?

    Shame on you guys BTW. If you need to use hateful words to pass on a message… Words that will only cause more pain than try to heal, u must be just as sad as d subject matter in question.

    About how to ensure this cycle ends… I’ll consult the one who holds my life in his hands. He helped me through it all and he alone can handle this right.

    • shadyshedu says:

      God bless u. As d sayin goes ‘who no go, no go know’. We have all been dere, @ least most of us, even those of us forming james bond. There’s always dis 1 guy dat brks down that hard wall we’ve spent so much time building around us, 1 dat fools us even wen we know we r being fooled. Doesn’t make us stupid, just makes us humans.

  • Ollymd says:

    Hahahaha the guy should be playing football or a coach and teach Messi some skills. I would ve put the blame on the guy if you let go after you found out he was not single. You found out the truth yet still allow your idiocy to outshine you. Omashey o. Am sorry you didn’t admit you were truly deeply and madly in love with this Messi of a guy but hiding behind “bitches re gullible” line hahahaha. Now the judgement line; I won’t blame you girl to be honest cos you were in love and I know all is fair in love & war. Pele you will win. As for mr Ronaldo, tho karma is a bitch but I bet you have the skill to outsmart karma and will even buy karma a pink Victoria secret but Karma might wink at your daughter then hell break lose. Hahahah. Am a therapist if you need me ooooo but I no be lekki big boy o I no sabi lie

  • married in surulere says:

    I agree that the guy described in this story is totally despicable, the dregs of the male world. i have some issues with the ‘victim’ though. you have written so good an account of what happened that your writing skills show clearly the personality of the writer.You are not really a victim here, i think you are juzt one of those numerous beautiful, nicely dressed ,sensibly employed young ladies with few principles. This one hit hard because he was ‘a big twitter fish’
    by the way, meeting with his wife? that was you being your selfish self, you didnt do it for her. it was about you all along. learn your lessons, walk away ftom the disgusting liar and Raise The Bar…dont be an easy lay. guys can smell it even if its coated with excellent customer service

  • Ikwikwi says:

    I’m ashamed that Efe allowed his blog to be used as a place where accusations can be thrown around. I don’t care about her sob story. She’s a stupid girl who realised she couldn’t get what she wanted and decided to use this platform for revenge. However, rape is a serious accusation and this blog has allowed itself to be used as a medium for that purpose. I find that disheartening and shameful.

    This used to be a safe place but now I’m not so sure anymore because I feel like if I tell my story, imbeciles would be allowed to make hurting statements all for the sake of blog hits.

    On the plus side, you “redacted” the accused’s name which was furtile seeing as everyone knew who it was talking about so what was the point.

    Efe I hope you do better because honestly, I’m disappointed.

    • highlandblue says:

      I’m sorry you feel this way. But someone had to do it. I hope your daughter or sister does not have to wrestle with her feelings to the point of spilling it all on a blog post like this has been done. And God forbid if it ever gets to that stage, I hope there will be responsible people to listen and address the real issues properly.

      • Chisom says:

        Yea Efe, I agree, someone had to do it. Please when will you men start calling out your married friends? Most people here are blaming the lady which is not surprising to me. The funny thing is, people could actually tell the dude being described even though his name wasn’t mentioned, which shows he’s known for this kind of misbehavior. If he feels defamed, he can sue. Or he can write his own defence.

        This reminds me of Pastor Biodun of COZA. Over two years after, he hasn’t given us his defence.

    • missjones says:

      used to be a safe place but now Iโ€™m not so sure anymore because I feel like if I tell my story, imbeciles would be allowed to make hurting statements all for the sake of blog hits.
      So Ikwikwi, u r concerned about people making hurting statements about u but u don’t mind making them about the poster? Nobody is perfect o! Issokay

  • Maldon says:

    This story is obviously about KayKay. I look forward to listening to him on 99.3 news paper reviews.he sounds really smart and intelligent.u can never pick him for someone to do a thing like this. But u too no try,with all d experience from ur pop’s u still fell for this and spread ur legs to someone u met 2 weeks earlier.i am glad u dint say he raped u sha. But this is obviously an attempt to destroy his name…shame on u and a bigger shame on him too

  • RaZr says:

    Some bored blogger conjures a nollywood story and comments run amok. Some comments are even as long as the lengthy story.


  • Chisom says:

    I’ve read comments here saying the writer was an easy lay, she gave in too soon, etc. I’ll like to know why you people don’t think the man in question is not just an ‘easier lay’ but a very cheap one. There are two people involved in this scenario, the man, who happened to be married should have kept his zip up. He didn’t. He lied, applied too much mental energy in keeping his game up, denied being married, just for ASS. How despicable could he get?

  • My goodness! The comments here are so disgusting. Filled with hate and misogyny. Calling the woman names and ignoring the married man involved. Why am I even surprised? Are the comments not being moderated???

    And to Ikwikwi, after calling the writer a ‘stupid girl’ you expressed concern about the safety of this platform and ‘imbeciles’ making hurtful comments. Well done! Your hypocrisy stinks to the high heavens.

  • missjones says:

    Uncle Efe, I hope that this won’t lead to problems for this blog o! This one that everybody seems to know “you-know-who”. Please be careful, I don’t really know how the law works but this blog is important to me.

  • Healing-d children's bread says:

    The only way to avoid issues like this is to put solid principles in place. If we have a no sex policy before marriage, we can avoid been tricked or cajoled into this kind of situation. I had somthing similar to this. Guy claimed he wasn’t married, but whether he was married or unmarried, in lagbaja’s words; nothing for you. It saves u a lot of stress and prevents u frm making costly mistakes. Imagine if d’s lady had gotten pregnant, d story wud have been worse. Pregnant for someone who cnt marry u or u end up being second wife. D God who gave us dis commandments knew why he did. They are for our own good and to protect us. You may say ‘most guys wnt marry u exceept dey sleep wt u. Let dem go! If u truely value ur body n ur soul, u’ll stick to God’s principles. There is no need to be insultive or disparaging. We all have our cross to carry! Your own might. Be in another area.
    You have made this mistake! Move on and turn to God. Where sin abounded, grace abounded more!

  • Tomi says:

    1. The guy is an a**hole. He’s guilty as charged. For lying and cheating on his wife.
    2. The lady is not innocent – if she’d put a stop to all forms of communication after finding out his status she would have been absolved of blame. I can bet she was secretly wishing he was goin to divorce his wife and marry her hence she trying to confront the wife. Don’t make yourself cheap cos of a “big boy”.

  • Amarachi says:

    U guys need to cut the owner of this blog some slack. Saying he should have reached out to the accused before posting makes no sense. So every story that gets to him anonymously or otherwise he should be fact checking or what… is that not why no names were put. The only reason most of you figured out the accused is because this is not the first time this story is being carried. A lot of U seem to know about the person being accused and it leaves a question mark on the kind of friends you guys have. I suggested in my earlier comment we should stop suggesting names especially when we are not sure or it might be coincidental now I am not sure I agree with that comment. Whatever the case be I hope some of you females will clearly stay away from the said guy. He is married, mind th!e kind of discussions you have with him. And seeing as females will flee from him now, i hope, he might change tactics to men who sleep with men U know what i mean LOL. So men who are into that the guy is married ooo stay away too . I love this blog and I have subscribed ciao !

  • Lord Stussie says:

    Y’all need JESUS. KayKay needs help and so does the lady

  • @the_igbogurl says:

    Hi babygirl.. I wouldn’t say I know how you feel cause I have not been in this kinda position before but be strong darling.. You have made a very big mistake with this “lekki liar” all well and good but you have to move on. Remember not all men are the same. Always Always trust your instinct over anyone. Its a lesson do not have anything to do with any guy undergoing divorce or even marital problems no matter how true it may seem, leave them let them sort out themselves before bringing you into the picture. The guy tho I am just sure that karma would catch up with him. As for his wife I know part of her believes cause she has heard similar stories about her husband for a while. Don’t stress about giving her proof a part of her believes you. Learn babygirl from your mistakes find your self a good man.
    Much love xo

  • ussy says:

    One thing all of you missed in this piece: is the fact that the lady in question is a fantastic writer. She needs to have a column in one of the Dailies. ASAP.

    And for her to have written this true story means she had moved on. I’m happy for her.

  • Gladys says:

    Hello Babe,

    First, let me apologise in advance for what i am about to say. It might come across as being insensitive and sarcastic, still i do have to say it.

    Point one: YOU DECIDED to go on a date with this guy. YOU DECIDED to let whatever happened between you two happen. YOU DECIDED to go to his house. At every step of the way, he didnt use physical force on you. We can all agree that you let it all happen.

    Point two: He took out on a date. He spent his money (presumably) , He spent his time, He did some brain work whipping up those lies. He too made it happen.

    Point three: AT SOME POINT, you both had FUN at this. Nobody was crying on the bed, nobody had to tie someone up to have sex, nobody had to thrash around breaking things. You both made love and had an O. At that moment, it was all good. At that moment, you both had given somethings up to achieve that o. At that moment, nobody owed anyone anything.

    Fast forward: He lied. He lied to get into your pants. You feel used. This gangan is the problem. How did he use you? He was happy doing and playing the charade, you were happy during the charade, where is the using in this? Did you not get a certain amount of pleasure from it all before you found out he lied?

    Lying is a bad thing. I was in a relationship where my partner lied to me about everything including his age. I felt bad that i had wasted my time with him. I felt bad that I was lied to for almost 2years. Infact, I was traumatised. I still am. BUT, I dont feel USED. I felt betrayed.

    In my opinion, you should get a grip on yourself. Dont play the victim card, the moment you realise that you have been played, Drop it. Totally. Turn your back – You can forgive him o, but i know for a fact that humans dont change- Move on. Move on to the next available truthful guy, Let him too move on to the next available sister.

    This whole outcry of yours is like shouting foul play when someone dribbles you to score a goal. Yes, He won, but you both had a beautiful match. You had fun while it was blissful. What you can do next time is – DRIBBLE YOUR OWN BACK!

  • Green Tea says:

    1. Back story about lying dad and a woman coming to replace your mum should deter you from married men. No?

    2. You remembered him from 2013, tweeted at him and kept your fingers crossed for the next time to see him. (Based on screenshots from subdelivery man)

    3. You had sex a week later but it wasn’t ‘totally consensual’? I don’t understand.

    4. You found out he was married the day after you had sex with him? In my experience, ladies do ALL the research before they get emotionally attached. You work in a bank, he’s been banking there for 2 years, any of your colleagues could’ve told you about the joint account he has with his wife.

    5. You say in paragraph 15 ‘I had casually mentioned it to my girls that there was a new guy who seemed like a perfect fit and when I mentioned his name, one of them responded with he’s married to do and so person’ so you already knew he was married or was this after your own findings that you told your friends he was the perfect fit? Also did your mutual friends with his wife not tell you about him? Or you didn’t tell them about your seemingly perfect new guy?

    6. You are sleeping with someone, you find out he is married, you immediately start to plot your revenge with your friends. Then you go ahead and show up at his home unannounced. (Referring back to your story about your dad’s mistress, didn’t that teach you anything?)

    7. You were so eager to throw him off balance, you waited for however long it took to for his wife to leave the house? Also you know his wife was home cause he kept trying to keep you from coming but you weren’t having it? How did you know he was home if he said he wasn’t home?

    8. He also tried to take you to his matrimonial bed so after you got to his house, waited for his wife to leave, you still entered inside the house? Still trying to throw him off balance?

    9. If you could get pictures from his wife’s Instagram, why did you go to his house?

    10. He gave excuses about his marriage, etc and after plotting to revenge with your friends and all you still believed him and took him back?

    11. You guys were at it again, he was playing mind games and winning but you knew? So you couldn’t help yourself? So why is this story here?

    12. Your greviance was that he forgot your birthday? So you went to his wife? To get information that you ALREADY KNEW? (You have balls though).

    I don’t see anything about rape here so I’m not sure where that’s coming from. This guy lied to you about the state of his marriage but you knew the truth already and you still carried on.

    I don’t see you as a harmless, unassuming victim that everyone is painting you to be. I think you knew you were with a married man and you were hopeful but as things didn’t go as planned, you were hurt.

    I’m more interested in other criminal allegations that have surfaced but in this world of receipts I find it weird that there are no DMs, whatsapp messages, texts, call logs, nothing.

    The only message I saw was a screenshot where the girl stated clearly ‘I’m bringing pussy’ so she knew what she was going to do and under that message, there was something about rape. Doesn’t add up.

    He didn’t force her on any occasion (based on the story above) to have sex with him. She just kept going back and regretting her actions and her guilt because she knew he was married.

    I’m not in any way siding with this guy. I think what he did (based on this story) is despicable. If you’re going to have an extra marital affair, be adult about it, you’d be surprised how many women don’t mind sneaking around.

    I don’t know why we are here. I believe that a few people he has slept with have come out to talk about it so we all know. I can sleep with him tomorrow and still come here and cry victim.

    Unless there’s a criminal issue here, this is not a cry for help from a victim. This is gossip.

    And Efe can post whatever he wants on his blog. This isn’t about him.

    • lady in red says:

      1st, you’re mixing up 2 seperate women. Please, the writer and the woman bringing pussy aren’t the same person as far as I know.

      2nd, the story is just to expose someone in order to prevent others from falling victim.

      3rd, the writer has abused herself in the post. Focus on the issue.

  • Unbilled Wizard says:

    They are both at fault!
    The guy lied but this lady REFUSED to leave the relationship even when it was crystal clear.
    There probably was something she didn’t tell us.
    She was a WILLING participant and NOW playing VICTIM!
    Many people who think they are smart are actually ignoramus

  • 1Creed says:

    Bless you Green Tea.

    I actually thought this story was made up cos that’s exactly what it sounds like. A made up story!

    Cos how do you claim to have found out utter falsehood and worse still, an unrepentant one at that, at some point after your initial innocence, and you chose to still hang around such. How please?

    You should move on anyway. Just do that to help youself.


  • Uncle Fabolous says:

    This is just amazing, una get time. Rubbish

  • Nkem says:

    When you were sleeping with him, he wasn’t a devil. you have always known about his marriage and you just hoped to ruin it. you didn’t get your heart desire , now you want to blow the world. i hope his wife finds you and skins you. pray to God to assist you with the gift of chastity. and move ahead. there are many smart men without wedding rings. find them and lick their penises. don’t come here to give us a very tilted story. we know you are pained. but no one should drown with you. allow him be a man whore in peace.” is it your whore”? don’t blame your father for anything. some don’t even know their fathers and they don’t open their legs for married men all over the place. if you are looking for a liar, please locate a single “yoruba demon” as you people call it and have a very nice day. coming here to play the victim is not the way forward. Go and seek professional help because i thing you are an attention seeker and really, that’s not the good life.if you feel violated, go to court. this public shaming of an innocent man whore will not help anyone. most especially you.

  • Tino says:

    We women really need to develop the capacity to walk away from sex which you do not want and not let any oloriburuku somebody lie to you about only putting the tip inside your vaigina. From my 3 decades on earth, I have learnt the following:
    1. The smartest woman could loose her senses when sexual pleasure is involved
    2. If a guy you just met invites you to his place to chill, his intention is sex. If you don’t want to end up in an akward situation, do not go. There are other places made for chilling other than his or your place
    3. A married man who wants to have sex with you will tell you ANYTHING about his wife to get you to drop your knickers. Engage your brain ALWAYS.
    4. If you do end up sleeping with a married man, for the love of your life, use a condom. These guys don’t like to use protection as they do not use it with their wives. Protect your life and reproductive equipment please.

    These are lessons learnt from life. You should have run for the hills the minute you found out

    It’s obvious Kay Kay is guilty as he’s now gone on his twitter handle to defend himself. I mean, the name was redacted and he’s still gone to put up a series of post to deny rape. If this post was not alluding to him, all he had to do was post a single tweet saying the story is not referring to him. Myadvise for his wife is a full sexual health check up.

  • icecream shake says:

    I totally worried cos I think I know who posted this story. I hope I’m wrong though!

  • Swit biggirl says:

    Let the sleeping dog lie and move on.the wife must know all this extra marital affairs and choosed to stay.writer forgive urself and be happy.

  • joke says:

    I can so relate with this story…only mine wasn’t married and all his babes are his cousins. Nigga has a large family. Discovered recently about his babes and lies..dude’s a lawyer too and lives in ajah…mehn I will be wary of lawyers henceforth. My love, the fastest way to heal a broken heart is to forgive the person who broke it..well after you’re done conducting a mental funeral for him over drinks and icecream (works for me every time) you’ll be fine,you’ll come out stronger,and soon you’ll meet a man that will make you glad you and this guy didn’t work. Stand up,raise your head high and move on. God bless

  • n says:

    Don’t judge her if u haven’t bn in her shoes…she must have bn in love with him to keep going back,cos love can make us do stupid things….and as for d guy,I just pray his generation don’t suffer for the sins of their father!

  • amazingtayor says:

    Many Nigerians are dying silently all because when they speak….unruly Nigerians with turn the victim to item of mockery. .they divert their personal life vexation on the victim and make them regret ever saying their problem…it is turn by turn…life always put people in situations where they will need someone to talk to just to feel better about themselves… all can go on to add or help her with her problem…..Good luck

  • Tox says:

    Well, having read the story, I dont see any issues extraordinary with the experience. I mean, emotoinal matters defy logic so dont feel guilty about it. As long as you were honest with him, you have nothing to be ashamed of. What I urge you to do is to rise above him and dont let the experience dictate how you engage other men. Not all men are liars but this one is. So have an open mind and if you meet him again, lead the emotional charge and make sure he doesnt dictate the pace of your emotions. Emotion is power for a woman!!!

  • Tox says:

    And in addition to my earlier comment, dont harbour a pint of guilt for this. We all have our experiences and those who come on here to condemn you are the real hypocrites. I have learnt with time that those who condemn others’ sexual behaviour are mostly the masturbators and porn addicts. Also, dont let other people’s opinion shape your reasoning on the subject matter. You did what every normal human being would do and so what? I urge you to even say Hi to him and be strong before him…flaunt your intellect and your femininity before him and make him beg to have you…therein lies your power. If you play the victim, then you have just massaged his ego. One mistake you made was to go to his wife…she neednt be part of this but you acted sincerely out of confusion and that isnt a crime. When you really like someone, you tend to give excuses for their inadequacies. That is not stupidity, that is indeed what it means to be a normal human being and not a demon! Please delete the images and move on with people who appreciate your worth as a lady! Cheers mate!!

  • King K's nightmare says:

    At least he wasn’t eating friend plantain and eggs in your house 3 times a week for 6 months.

    This man had it coming. He’s so lucky i don’t want to say anything on twitter because if i do, his life will come crashing down.

    I have pictures and screen shots (or as you call them “receipts”)

    But if i release any of them, i will have to make myself known.

  • Tessa Doghor says:

    Move on jare. God makes everything beautiful in His time.
    The guy deserves the karma that is coming for him.

    Some guys will be dogs, ignore them
    You have told your story and purged yourself.

    Don’t forget that you are beautiful and worth it
    Draw your boundaries and don’t let people who can’t respect you past a line.
    including the majority of the idiots who have written the comments above.

    Cheers all.

  • Jessica says:

    I believe dat u can’t make same mistake twice

  • Jessica says:

    Bt seriously u gyz dnt av 2 be so hard on her.. Cus evry1 has a story to tell. I mean we all have our own flaws, nobody z perfect, de gud tin der is dat she willfully admitted she did something wrong nd dat should be enough proof dat she has remorse 4 whatever you think she did wrong.. De poor girl wz just helplessly in love wid soqm1 she tot wz Mr RIGHT nd u knw wat dat means….. Yeah u should if at all uv ever bin in love I mean truly, madly nd geniuly in love den u’ll understand her plight…. So baby girl cheer up… Dnt let anyone mk u feel miserable.,jst move on nd learn 2 4gt whatever it is dat happened in ur past, remember trust no one… Imagine almighty Google even betryed u.. Den who or better still wat wouldn’t…. Jst passing anyways

  • Casual Observer says:

    No be small tin

  • Tony says:


  • Ziglar says:

    I understand how you feel dear but the truth is… let it happen even though the guy is clearly an Ass. As much as you want him to hurt real bad, you have to let it go for sanity sake. Just take it as one of those things life throws at you. You fell….just rise and dust off.

    Its normal for some people to say hurtful things.. like they know it all. They haven’t been in the persons shoes and all is black and white. Shame on you. This isn’t about judging, she’s telling her story and the least you can do is take it as one of life’s scenarios and warn others (about predators).

    The fact that you can’t share your story here is fine. Dont shit on those who can.


  • annonymous says:

    I can relate to this story. Dear poster, I understand how you feel, you have d right to feel however you want, without been judged. I fell for a guy too, don’t think his married, am gonna call him K. He lies and boasts and is over proud, can’t say what attracted me to him. We started chatting on watsapp, he gave me this story of how a girl gave him her number enroute from Houston to Nigeria and he made a mistake and put down my number, saving it as the girl’s. We chatted for close to two months online, I even sent nude pics of me( which was very stupid of me, I know). He told me wild stories about his parents n siblings and about how rich they are. He will spin tales about everything, he’s a liar and master at his craft. I even left Lagos for Abuja to visit him, but we didn’t later meet. I guess he just wanted to talk a lot and get me to like him very much before meeting him. He always always talks about money and traveling and sent me pictures of the houses his family built and pictures of him in different countries.
    I can’t honestly say what attracted me to him, I don’t even need his money, I guess it’s just d way he talked and all.
    He finally visited Lagos and we met at night after av been to the beach and had a few drinks, cuz I was tipsy. So, we ended up at his friends place(so he said) and had unprotected sex, I won’t really call it full sex, cuz he couldn’t maintain his erection. Before I go on, my kind of person, can never have unprotected sex, I don’t even have random sex, am so scared of contacting one horrible disease that I cross my legs and mind my business. We spent the night together, had breakfast and he supposedly left for his uncle’s place at VGC to discuss some family matters and fly back to Abuja on Monday morning for work. We planned to meet in Abuja the next weekend but he started acting up after that so I called him bluff.
    He’s not the kinda guy I would date had I met him first, he’s soo skinny with a big head and with soo much attitude. He’s educated and speaks well but that’s it.
    I believe I was played by a co-worker who wanted to supposedly date me but I refused, so he set me up with K. Cuz the same co-worker once told me about a friends friend who can convince any girl to sleep with him. Well, av done soo many tests on my self to certify am disease free.
    All am trying to Say is that, I too have been played by a man, I thought I was smart enough to recognize that kind of thing, but am only human. I don’t let it bother me one bit, but it happens to the best of us. I liked him a lot but was never in love with him, so I was able to move on. I don’t even think I know him enough except what he wanted me know.
    We learn everyday.

  • bettergirl says:


  • Gemma says:

    Hi Poster,

    I don’t have any advice to give. I only forced myself to comment here because I want to tell you that I understand how you got there. I resonated with your story not because it has ever happened to me but watching your plot unfold, I’m almost certain that it’s something that could happen to me (i.e. if my Heavenly Father ever fell asleep while watching over me).

    Hindsight is always 20/20 so don’t beat yourself up over it. Don’t search for closure. Don’t try to understand. Don’t want answers. Ha! Im already giving you advices. Be happy and be strong dear . You’d be fine.

    P.S. You’re a good writer. ๐Ÿ™‚

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