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THE FAILURES

Further to your recent application for a **********, we regret to inform you that we will not be taking your application any further on this occasion.”

Thank you for your interest in the above position. Further to the outcome of the Pre-screening test and the overall performance of all candidates who participated in the process, please be informed that you will not be progressing to the next stage of the recruitment process.”

This was how my 2018 began.

In January 2017, I decided it was time to get a Masters degree ‘In the Abroad’ .  I didn’t have the funding I needed to pay tuition and every other thing, so scholarships was the only option. I got my transcripts (meanwhile, why is it stressful to get transcripts in Nigerian Universities? It almost cost me an arm and a leg) and applied to every scholarship I could find. I spent hours on research, went on social media to look for beneficiaries of the scholarships I was applying to, so they could give me tips.

Also, my present job was no longer sustainable and I had been actively applying for other jobs so I could save up something for my masters degree.

I gave it my everything…or so I thought.

Further to your recent application for a **********, we regret to inform you that we will not be taking your application any further on this occasion.”

My scholarship application was rejected.

I don’t think I can put into words how I felt.

I just can’t.

Just a few days later, one of the companies I had applied to, wrote two assessment tests in Port Harcourt and Lagos, hit me with an email…

“Thank you for your interest in the above position. Further to the outcome of the Pre-screening test and the overall performance of all candidates who participated in the process, please be informed that you will not be progressing to the next stage of the recruitment process.”

Two major rejections in one week…Have you ever felt physical heart pain?No?

Good for you.

And oh…there were other rejections.

One day, I was asking myself why I got so many rejections this year, and I realized that in 2017/2018, I put my feet forward. I applied to things I had no business applying for…scholarships, essays, job applications, international conferences. I was moving mad! LOL.

THE WIN.

This year, I won the Nigerian Young Lawyers Forum essay competition. 

I really did not expect to win.

I saw that the first prize was a laptop and was like…okay, babe, you need a laptop, why don’t you try? So I did. And I won.

Guess what? They didn’t give me the laptop. They apologized and gave me books instead. (Abba Father, I still need the Laptop)

Everyday, I look at the plaque sitting on my office desk and wonder what I wrote, or what I said during the oral presentation that made the judges unanimously think I deserved to win. I feel like a big fraud sha.

Someone told me this year that I need to start learning how to celebrate my achievements. It’s hard for me, since I sometimes feel I have not really achieved anything.

BIRTHDAY

I turned 31 in March. But daaaayum…I look too good to be 31. LOL (that’s what people say sha).

This year, I did not have that sad gloomy mood I usually have on my birthdays because I feel like it’s a reminder that I haven’t achieved anything yet.

31 feels good.

LOVE LIFE

So I’m still single to stupor.

It’s really not a bad thing to be single,tbh.

Apart from the loneliness you feel sometimes and when your friend’s reply to your “How is your husband and children?” question is “They are fine. Don’t worry, God will do it for you”…

We go dey alright Las Las.

RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

I grew.

And I’m loving it.

Oh…I still mess up everytime sometimes.

In all, I’m grateful for growth, for family, (My sister was robbed yesterday but they only took her phone.THANK GOD!!!) for blessings, for me.

So, here’s to 2019…

WE MOVE!!!

P.S: This is my first ever review here. I’ve been following for about three years now, and never really had the courage to tell my story, because the stories I have read here? My goodness!

‘Shallat’ to Uncle Efe  for encouraging me to write this.  

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