So Weak, So Strong
If I were asked to describe 2015 in one word, I’d stutter for a few minutes and still be unable to come up with a word to describe it because no word does justice to the year 2015 for me. But there is a phrase that sums it up neatly – “so weak, so strong“.
At no other time in my life have I experienced so many ups and downs in almost all areas of my life. Though I had the public demeanour of someone who had no worries, it was a mere faćade to mask the turmoil on the inside.
I started the year with an official resumption in a new role and a slight pay rise. The new role was one that I had somehow subconsciously expanded into from my old role and as such I did not feel any pressure acting in the new role – strong.
With the new role also came expectations I had hitherto been unaware off which meant I delivered less than stellar outputs on many occasions – weak.
The first curveball of the year came when I got a call that my dad would undergo surgery for something that started just like a normal cough. Seeing my dad all prepped up for surgery got to a part of me that took me channeling the most of my stoic nature to refrain from bursting in tears. Despite the weakness I felt, I adopted an attitude of “it’s nothing” just to reassure my mum that all would be well – so weak, so strong.
More responsibility at work meant more time devoted to work and less time available for my other endeavours. Creativity suffered and I had some of my weakest performances ever as a spoken word artiste but wrote some of my best pieces in the shortest of periods. My teaching work also took a back seat. The few times I did teach were wonderful ones but I wish I had done more.
One area where I experienced the most weakness was my walk with God. I went for weeks without much personal study of God’s word and that is one thing that is definitely changing now and into the new year.
So 2015 in a few words – “so weak, so strong” but without a doubt that God has kept me through it all for a purpose so I end with this song.
“So close, I believe,
He’s holding me now,
In his hands I belong,
He’ll never let me go.”
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Thank you very much for sharing Gbenga. We hope to see some of your work online and share in your creativity. God bless you. I hope your dad is all right now?
Hello Gbenga, may you find strength in your weaknesses. I’ve not really known you to be a person of many words. May you continue to find strength to do all you wish. 2016 beckons.
Thanks so much Ma. Amen to your prayers.
You are a lot stronger than you think and we are always rooting for you.
Cheers to a greater 2016 in all ramifications for you Amen
Thank you so much FK. I know you got my back
May your strength continue to overshadow your weaknesses. Cheers.
Amen
Tomorrow will be better. Being able to identify the strong and weak points is a huge step towards achieving more ‘strong ‘ points. I wish you the best and may God heal your dad completely.
God be with you in all your endeavours Sir.
I’ll really like to send in something. Not sure of the procedure.. tips anyone?
I love that song.
I haven’t heard it in so long. Thanks for sharing it.
I pray that strength will never depart from you. This marks the beginning of the best. Bless.
Gbenga!!!!!! Well, let me just conserve my energy and talk till you reply my Whatsapp messages.
I’ll say however, that I’m thankful I met you and that I believe in those weak points, you’ll/have receive(ed) His strength that comes alive in all its resplendent glory.
Congratulations! 2016 can only be better.
Love and Light!
So weak yet so strong, i can relate with your post on many counts. God’s strength is made perfect in our Weakness. I hope your dad is feeling better now. Here’s to a 2016 that shows all the strengths 2015 built and more frequent expressions of your creativity. Thanks for that song. #Flourish