So Weak, So Strong

If I were asked to describe 2015 in one word, I’d stutter for a few minutes and still be unable to come up with a word to describe it because no word does justice to the year 2015 for me. But there is a phrase that sums it up neatly – “so weak, so strong“.

At no other time in my life have I experienced so many ups and downs in almost all areas of my life. Though I had the public demeanour of someone who had no worries, it was a mere faćade to mask the turmoil on the inside.

I started the year with an official resumption in a new role and a slight pay rise. The new role was one that I had somehow subconsciously expanded into from my old role and as such I did not feel any pressure acting in the new role – strong.

With the new role also came expectations I had hitherto been unaware off which meant I delivered less than stellar outputs on many occasions – weak.

The first curveball of the year came when I got a call that my dad would undergo surgery for something that started just like a normal cough. Seeing my dad all prepped up for surgery got to a part of me that took me channeling the most of my stoic nature to refrain from bursting in tears. Despite the weakness I felt, I adopted an attitude of “it’s nothing” just to reassure my mum that all would be well – so weak, so strong.

More responsibility at work meant more time devoted to work and less time available for my other endeavours. Creativity suffered and I had some of my weakest performances ever as a spoken word artiste but wrote some of my best pieces in the shortest of periods. My teaching work also took a back seat. The few times I did teach were wonderful ones but I wish I had done more.

One area where I experienced the most weakness was my walk with God. I went for weeks without much personal study of God’s word and that is one thing that is definitely changing now and into the new year.

So 2015 in a few words – “so weak, so strong” but without a doubt that God has kept me through it all for a purpose so I end with this song.

“So close, I believe,
He’s holding me now,
In his hands I belong,
He’ll never let me go.”

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Thank you very much for sharing Gbenga. We hope to see some of your work online and share in your creativity. God bless you. I hope your dad is all right now?

Oluwagbenga Omolayo

is a teacher, spoken word artiste, and has a nine to five where he fixes things before they are broken.

11 Comments

  • Abigail says:

    Hello Gbenga, may you find strength in your weaknesses. I’ve not really known you to be a person of many words. May you continue to find strength to do all you wish. 2016 beckons.

  • fk says:

    You are a lot stronger than you think and we are always rooting for you.

    Cheers to a greater 2016 in all ramifications for you Amen

  • Amiee says:

    May your strength continue to overshadow your weaknesses. Cheers.

  • Engy says:

    Tomorrow will be better. Being able to identify the strong and weak points is a huge step towards achieving more ‘strong ‘ points. I wish you the best and may God heal your dad completely.

  • E says:

    God be with you in all your endeavours Sir.
    I’ll really like to send in something. Not sure of the procedure.. tips anyone?

  • Ire says:

    I love that song.
    I haven’t heard it in so long. Thanks for sharing it.

    I pray that strength will never depart from you. This marks the beginning of the best. Bless.

  • Lizzieebunoluwa says:

    Gbenga!!!!!! Well, let me just conserve my energy and talk till you reply my Whatsapp messages.
    I’ll say however, that I’m thankful I met you and that I believe in those weak points, you’ll/have receive(ed) His strength that comes alive in all its resplendent glory.

    Congratulations! 2016 can only be better.
    Love and Light!

  • eloxie says:

    So weak yet so strong, i can relate with your post on many counts. God’s strength is made perfect in our Weakness. I hope your dad is feeling better now. Here’s to a 2016 that shows all the strengths 2015 built and more frequent expressions of your creativity. Thanks for that song. #Flourish

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