So I’m going to keep this short because there’s no light and phone Is about to die. Okay now that we have that settled, let’s go.
Literally entered this year with an I don’t care attitude. Forget what I wrote on IG, I didn’t even want to bother myself anymore. I’m like whatever happens, happens. I even forgot how to pray. But I still prayed because even with the nonchalance, some part of me needed a miracle.
I started to read and do research on hair …natural hair. And said okay, I might want to do hair and make hair products (Like whipped Shea butter, hair butter, black soap etc) as a hobby. I started making the products for myself alone, then someone asked me to get her coconut oil and I did..and I’m like why don’t I just make money off this? So I started to. And it was fun. It was still a hobby though. Didn’t really take it serious. Part of the reason was hopes for school. Well most of the reason.
I wrote JAMB again. Didn’t read for it at all. Still dunno how I got 237. I couldn’t read for it not like I didn’t want to. I’d pick a book and start thinking really dark thoughts. So no point. But I made it. Pssh. Last year, I read but I had 2 points less than 200. Thankfully the cutoff was 180. Haha. Probably one of the reasons I didn’t care.
Not sure what happened here. Gave up on my journal In February.
Birth-month. Had a beautiful peaceful day. A good friend got me cake that fattened me up. Which was good. Haha. Decided to work a bit. Got a job at an Ecommerce company. I always thought that wasn’t possible seeing as I dropped out of university but it happened. It was fun and stressful. Learnt that the 8-5 life really wasn’t my thing. I hate been holed up in one place.
Still working. Folks thought i liked it too much and that I wouldn’t want to go to school again. Told them that wasn’t possible. Left at the end of the month though. It was good while it lasted.
Decided to face my own thing but at the same time, I didn’t want it to blow up so I didn’t ask for the financial assistance that I needed to boost it. I really loved it and I know I would have given up school for it. But I couldn’t do that because of my parents. So I just kept doing my small time business. I learnt a lot working at that company. Understood customers better. Learned how to take criticism and not let it break me down and cause me to cry. I’m a cryer. So I used what I learnt there in my business.
My post-ume happened this month. I was really sick before the exam and on the exam day. Immediately I got to the venue I had to look for somewhere to puke. I was shivering and shaking. I still don’t know how I finished the exam. Got home and just laid in bed shaking. Results came in later that day. I passed. Now I was waiting for the good or bad news. Lol.
There was no news. I Was getting really nervous. Occupied myself with my work. Tried to go on dates. Meh. The caring part of me had started to show. This was actually important to me. Refreshed the school website daily. Lol. It wasn’t even funny. All the while, all through this year, I’d put up a very happy front. And now, I couldn’t even do it anymore. I was just pissed. If it didn’t work, I’d already promised myself I was gonna run away from home. Lol. other option was offing myself. sigh. It was just crazy. Later found out they were having some program at the school that delayed every other thing. Still wasn’t calm though.
Still working. Was living on my little business so it sort of was important at this point. Was working on getting more customers and at the same time, I was holding back. One night I got a text, said I’d been admitted into uni. Hay. I was staring at my phone for like 10 minutes. My brain was trying to boot and understand the message. When it dawned on me, I screamed and showed my dad and my mom and they were all excited and all. After the excitement that didn’t last an hour, I got depressed. Didn’t even understand why I felt that way. Thanked God then went to bed. Told my ex the next day. He was super excited and happy. That sorta lifted my spirit. Didn’t tell anyone again till a week later I think. I was so scared it was going to disappear. Anyway, paid the acceptance. Waited to be cleared and that became another problem because I was supposed to upload two documents to the site and I could only upload one. The option to upload the second even disappeared. I felt like I was going to lose this again. There’s no one we didn’t make enquiries from. Someone from the school asked us to calm down, that the option would come back. It didn’t. I checked the site daily for a week and gave up. My dad told me to keep checking, told him I was doing that but I really wasn’t. Towards the end of October, one night while I was up late…I’m like let me check if the option is back. I checked. It wasn’t there. Instead i was cleared. Couldn’t even believe my eyes. It was 2am. My dad was still up. Ran to show him. We were once again excited. But then there was money wahala and that tried to clear my excitement but I didn’t let it. I can be sad about money another day, I said.
Left for school first week of this month. People even thought I was going too early. I knew I was late seeing as I was just cleared. Went to school to make enquiries o. Plan was I was probably going to resume January seeing as there was no money or whatever. Got there and I met two coursemates who said lectures had started. Hayyyy, How na?? Which meant I had to stay. My uncle lives here in ilorin so I stayed with him. School fees had to be paid in a limited time. I had help in October. Some stranger (God bless her) sent me some money, used part of it to get ready for school. But it wasn’t enough for fees anymore. Called Mr. S (another person who God is going to bless mightily for me) and he sent me some money. Fees were supposed to be paid in two parts. So I paid the first. Wasn’t sure how the second was going to come through. There was still rent to be paid. Sigh. Somehow another blessed Angel God directed to me came through for me. Even more than I expected. So I was able to sort fees and rent. Sigh. Savings from the business was what I was using to survive. I was already stressed mentally and physically by second week to honest.
Side note: Plugged my phone to a neighbor’s laptop so I could make this long. Sue me. Lol.
Well well. I always want a December miracle and that’s what im waiting for currently. School is good. I like it here. I am still adjusting to school and my new place. And the people. The people here are a lot nicer and friendlier than I expected. And my hair has gotten really weird, nice, horrible and amazing compliments. Haha. I think we can do the 4 years happily. I like the change of environment too. Coming home in a few weeks. Lowkey excited because I miss my mama. And light. Haha. Looking forward to 2016 with excitement and I’m really praying and Hoping it comes with lots of great surprises for my family and I.
This year has taught me a lot of things. as always. I’ve grown a lot this year. I’ve learned that I love unconditionally and that I can love from a distance. I’ve learned that there are certain people I’d always love no matter what. I’ve learned that I can actually talk to people, seriously even though it makes me nervous as shit. I’ve learned to take things easy, still learning this, its really not easy. I’ve learned that God will always come through for me no matter what, even if it doesn’t happen at the time I want,it’ll happen. Learned that everything happens for a reason. And that the end of something could be the beginning of another beautiful thing. I’ve learned that your happiness is dependent on you and so I’m learning to be happy. I’m still learning a lot if things. Learning how to make friends again, to relate with people casually, to let people in (last part isn’t working). I’ve learned that people may not always agree with you and it doesn’t mean their opinion is shit (except it is).
I’m looking forward to 2016. I’m looking forward to living life and making the most out of it. Learning to not be ashamed that I’m 22 and in 100 level. Could be worse. Learning that people you love might not always be there but it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you and if they don’t, it really doesn’t change anything. Learning that I can do anything as long as I put my mind and resources to it. Learning to be calm in crazy situations. Learning to be a better Christian and a better person daily.
This year, I realized I really enjoy spending time with people I love and that I ought to take more pictures with people I love. Ooh my hair grew and my skin is flawless and I can do my brows successfully now. Lol. Learning to love every Inch of me. I have plans for next year. I want to learn to drive, be better at hair, expand my business (praying someone magically pours money into it because it’s really needed), write more, live more and maybe fall in love lol. Its not like this year didn’t have it’s crazy sides but the good really outweighed the bad and I’m thankful for that. Really thankful. First good year I’ve had since 2010. I just pray it keeps getting better and better. By His Grace.
Okay I should stop here before I begin to rant. See y’all December 2016. God bless everyone.