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A guy I used to sleep with got married 4 months ago. His wife just accepted my follow request on Instagram so I only just found out.

No I am not bitter about it and I wish him, his new bride, and his new found love for God, happiness as they embark on their happily ever after.

Today, I was having an interesting conversation with a guy about how all men will at every chance they get sleep with an available beautiful woman, even though they have their happily ever after waiting for them. No sooner had I mentioned this had he gone on the defensive about how I was generalizing, he was a good man, he would never cheat on his girlfriend and he was going to remain faithful till death do him part. Bollocks! All it took was me asking him if he wanted to have sex with me for all that self-acclaimed morals to fly out the window! Story for another day.

Now upon further inspection of Mrs. Somebody’s Instagram account it was revealed to me that they were together as far back as 2011! My goodness! In 2011, I was doing very inappropriate things with homeboy while he was puffing up weed into my face and saying words I most likely shouldn’t write here. I remember vividly how we started having sex. It was back in January 2011 a few days to my birthday when a good looking young man messaged me on Facebook. He noticed we went to the same university and our birthdays were just 3 days apart! It was glorious, we talked all night that night sending my phone bill into overdrive and the next day I was in his house looking for Waldo on a Where’s Waldo poster at the edge of his bed.

Now before you go calling me a ho and what not, my intention going forward was not to sleep with him right away, I was young, had barely just moved to a whole new country to start University, and had only ever slept with 5 very inexperienced people up to that point, he was an experienced player and I was not ready. I probably wouldn’t fall for them tricks now, but they were pretty sharp.

Back to the story, I left his room after finding Waldo, my finding skills were top notch after all and it didn’t take me too long. His house was freezing, every part of me was cold and of course what would homeboy suggest? ‘It’s like this out here but it’s usually warm in my room, let’s go there’. No sooner were we in his room had my bra come off. Never in my life had I had anyone take off my bra through my clothes that fast with just two fingers! My people I was flabbergasted! Then he carried me, pounced on me, did things to me my young mind couldn’t comprehend and left me wanting for more. That was the beginning of a very fruitful sexationship.

We had sex so many times afterwards, in his house, his friend’s houses, at school, at parties, we had sex up until he graduated and went to work elsewhere. Even at that, he would occasionally come into town, call me up and we would meet up for some mind blowing sex then go our separate ways. This continued until late 2014 and I still didn’t know he was in a relationship talk-less engaged. I wasn’t the only one he was sleeping with, there were at least four or five others that I was aware of. And now he’s married to a preacher’s daughter and has a beautiful relationship with God and has continued happily ever after.

I’ve had my fair share of sexual partners and what not, most of which have been guys in so called “serious relationships”. This is what worries me about entering a relationship of my own. I don’t go around searching for men who have girlfriends to sleep with but I’m not the moral enforcer of your boyfriend who has made it his aim to provide me with pleasure that I actually need as a living, breathing human being. Most times when I am aware that there’s a girlfriend in the equation I decline, but one can only say no for so long, and even if I do say no, how many girls are in the world? How many of them will keep saying no? To the girls that feel they have a hold of things, that go about threatening other girls about talking to their man with ‘I will beat you’, what’s to say the other girl can’t beat you back? Or you will ever find her? I am currently sleeping with two men at the moment, one has been with his girlfriend for over 5 years and hopes to marry her within the next two years and the other is looking to celebrate his third anniversary with his girlfriend this year, I’m an essential part of their relationship lowkey but this is also story for another day.

At the end of the day I am human, and a little thing nags at the back of my neck when I see things like the person I was sleeping with for so long happily married and moved on. It baffles me, but I just assume he has genuinely changed and has decided to be faithful to his wife. Maybe they had a chaste relationship and he needed to get it elsewhere to keep the relationship going? Well, unless our paths explicitly cross I am not going to go searching for answers to my questions. Here’s to Mr and Mrs, All the best in your marriage, I hope your man keeps it in his pants!

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