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You’re really strong, I don’t know how you do it. 

If I could get 10 dollars for every time I’ve heard that (given the current exchange rates), maybe I’d be able to afford rent by now. I started at a new job in a big city this year and I honestly didn’t feel strong most of the time, but I knew I had to keep going. The routine has been something like this: use up all my strength at work with little or no strength for home and other things, then repeat loop. 

I didn’t even celebrate my birthday. I’ve been at this gig for 9 months, with a grand total of zero in savings. In all this, my mum has been the best version of herself I’ve ever experienced, thus proving my theory that a long distance relationship is the best for both of us. 

I have a video of mommy’s leg, let me know if you want to see. 

We didn’t know how bad the leg was. My sister had just gotten back home after being away for a long while and then she found out Mommy had been immobile for about a month. “Septic Arthritis”. My Rosie. The strongest woman I know? It surely couldn’t be! It hit me really bad – I was making silly mistakes at work. I had set prompts to pray for her daily but at a point, it seemed like I was just preparing myself for the worst. 

She said God told her He’d take her out of it and I believe her. She was eventually moved to the hospital and uses a walker now. I’m thankful for my family and church. They took care of the situation and kept calling me to ensure I wasn’t worried. 

I have decided to find a reason to be thankful for every day of 2018. 

I needed to be more thankful and I wanted to document it. I even inspired some of my friends to be thankful every day. But I bent under the weight of judgement and a line manager that typed my memos and told me to reply while I was still standing right before him. I gave up. I lost track of time, messed up my streak on YouVersion and everything just became meh. 

Due to an anomaly with your confirmation appraisal form, we will need to delete your form and re-publish a new form. 

I was killing it at work. My line manager graded me higher than I did myself on my 3-month performance review. Now I’m not so sure anymore. By my calendar, I ought to have passed this stage by now. I got the email the week I was expecting my confirmation letter. All my plans to go on leave? Scattered. Body and spirit were weak. At this point everything made me cry (Those who know me know my tears are hard to find).

Winner!

A few years ago we were given names at church and this was mine.

I carried the name card in my purse with me everywhere. I put it up as my profile picture so I’d always remember. When different Ls started hitting me, I literally went “Father, plis dear, this isn’t what we discussed.” But I looked around me and saw many Ws for my friends and family.
My sister got a job and a scholarship. My brother is doing great stuff at school (First Class baby!) My sis is getting married to the love of her life. My Aunt had twins a boy and a girl. Some found love, got multiple job offers, finished med school, are furthering their education and my heart is full. Of joy and all its friends.

Thank you for the sweet embarrassments.

I remembered when I told him last year that I loved him back but wouldn’t do long distance gymnastics. He told me what God told him (I stan a man of God). We’re in the same postcode now and honestly, it’s the best thing ever. He is the highlight of my year.

This year I went on a weekend getaway, I ate more plantain, my hair grew, and I sang more hymns, did more to protect my happiness and sanity, spoke out more and forgot to call people on their birthdays. Nonetheless, I’m happy to see it end.

In a few days, I’ll visit a beach, soak myself in the water and be done with this year. I’m praying 2019 finds me hopeful.
Special thanks to Uncle Sam and Mother who opened their home to me so I can be close to work. My friend Vi, thanks for making your family my family. A-league, my support group, I love you guys.

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