What does it mean when a girl says she misses someone? Enjoy
Dear Big Sis,
Time has gone by as I’ve watched the comings and goings of this little family. I’ve crawled, tried to walk, stumbled and scabbed my knee. Life came to me in colours from my young days, through my first days at school and much lately, to paying obeisance at your feet at your wedding. You left a girl behind with raw eyes and emptiness in her soul. Mother’s gone and the hole she left is like a gaping abyss within me. I miss the need for more that she had taught me, telling me I could do more…see more…live more…feel more. She was such a romantic woman, who fell for such a restless man. He needed to find his calm and she wasn’t it. We weren’t it and his departure to find that peace has laid him in a restful place. Cry for him, I did not, for I knew that his spirit had finally found that calm with losing the body that he so much resented. Now you have left me, whisked away by a handsome young man amidst celebratory smiles, happy music and soaring expectations.
I hate you. I love you. Why did you not see my tears? Why did you not see my worry? You were dancing with joy, each move of your feet a thump on my nerves, on my love. I need you my dear sister. I hate you my dear sister. How dare you leave me like this? I was expecting this disconnect but the days of preparation were not nearly enough for the suddenness of your takeoff. I hear your voice calling my name when I’m about to sleep, scolding me about unwashed dishes…and I defy your voice on purpose. I want more than your voice, I want you here, pulling me out of bed to do my chores. This house is like a hole without you. The nights are colder, my fears are closer, there’s no one to see my smile, my fatigue, and to steal my shoes. You are my only sibling. You were the only thing that made this house a home.
How could you leave me this way?
Congratulations and much love.