When nobody asks “how are you” anymore but it is now, how is the family?
So I am not a human being anymore? Hubby lives do not matter?
When the debit alerts start rolling in at the end of the month for sms charges and COT
Zenith pls I am on my knees. I am sorry for trying to have money
When the DSTV, internet and PHCN units finish at the same time
When you walk into the lingerie shop alone
Oh you wanna get kinky on Valentine’s yeah? Finna spice up the marriage sex yeah? I feel you bruh
How your wife be when you get home late from a “business meeting”
I know you branched by Ijeoma’s house on the way back
How the pharmacist looks at you when you are buying condom while wearing your ring
When you notice that babe subbing married men about being in her DMs
Na me fuq up
When the car stops on the road with your family inside and you cannot fly okada and abandon it there
This marriage something used to limit my area boy swag. If I leave these people here society will judge me
When armed robbers are in the neighbourhood but your wife is still sleeping
How the gateman at the office greets you after you resume from honeymoon
Area father
When pastor is preaching “husband love your wives” and madam is nudging you
The Bible says many things mi love
When the insurance people come to sell you child insurance upon all your direct debits
Will you getaway from hia
When the police hail you as Alhaji Dangote the day you manage to wear ironed native
When your wife is pregnant with twins within one month of marriage and your office people are hailing you as the culprit responsible
You think it’s easy to score brace with one shot on goal?
When you come home from work and food is not ready
When single men come to you for advice on how to choose marriage partner
There are many things to consider my young padawan. Simple you must be, complicated it is
When your wife is adding items to your groceries shopping list
Babe, I’m not a shopping cart
When your sidechic tells you she is 3 days late
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Sorry if this made you laugh in public. Had to do this imitation of one of my fave blogs.