When nobody asks “how are you” anymore but it is now, how is the family?

So I am not a human being anymore? Hubby lives do not matter?

So I am not a human being anymore? Hubby lives do not matter?

When the debit alerts start rolling in at the end of the month for sms charges and COT

Zenith pls I am on my knees. I am sorry for trying to have money

Zenith pls I am on my knees. I am sorry for trying to have money

When the DSTV, internet and PHCN units finish at the same time

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When you walk into the lingerie shop alone

Oh you wanna get kinky on Valentine's yeah? Finna spice up the marriage sex yeah? I feel you bruh

Oh you wanna get kinky on Valentine’s yeah? Finna spice up the marriage sex yeah? I feel you bruh

 

How your wife be when you get home late from a “business meeting”

I know you branched by Ijeoma's house on the way back

I know you branched by Ijeoma’s house on the way back

 

How the pharmacist looks at you when you are buying condom while wearing your ring

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When you notice that babe subbing married men about being in her DMs

Na me fuq up

Na me fuq up

 

When the car stops on the road with your family inside and you cannot fly okada and abandon it there

This marriage something used to limit my area boy swag. If I leave these people here society will judge me

This marriage something used to limit my area boy swag. If I leave these people here society will judge me

 

When armed robbers are in the neighbourhood but your wife is still sleeping

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How the gateman at the office greets you after you resume from honeymoon

Area father

Area father

 

When pastor is preaching “husband love your wives” and madam is nudging you

The Bible says many things mi love

The Bible says many things mi love

 

When the insurance people come to sell you child insurance upon all your direct debits

Will you getaway from hia

Will you getaway from hia

 

When the police hail you as Alhaji Dangote the day you manage to wear ironed native

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When your wife is pregnant with twins within one month of marriage and your office people are hailing you as the culprit responsible

You think it's easy to score brace with one shot on goal?

You think it’s easy to score brace with one shot on goal?

 

When you come home from work and food is not ready

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When single men come to you for advice on how to choose marriage partner

There are many things to consider my young padawan. Simple you must be, complicated it is

There are many things to consider my young padawan. Simple you must be, complicated it is

 

When your wife is adding items to your groceries shopping list

Babe, I'm not a shopping cart

Babe, I’m not a shopping cart

 

When your sidechic tells you she is 3 days late

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Sorry if this made you laugh in public. Had to do this imitation of one of my fave blogs.