ELEVEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE YOU BECOME A FAN
Is there any significance to the number 11? Actually no, I just talk too much. This year, I became intentional about my life and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and I don’t know why I didn’t do it sooner.
Before the stories begin, I feel a need to introduce myself with 11 Things You Need To Know Before You Fall In Love With Me. You will fall in love with me, I promise.
HOW I FELL FROM HEAVEN
I’ve been told a couple of times by my mum that when she gave my dad the news of my impending arrival, he went and sat on the train tracks because he could not afford another child. Dramatic much?
It took my now late god-parents to get him off the tracks but now that I think about it, I feel like going back in time to ask him ‘Guy, why are you having unprotected sex if you couldn’t afford another baby?’ Naughty, I know but I really do not need to ask that question because my father adored me, my siblings may disagree but I was his favourite and he was mine.
GOD LOVES ME
I feel like I can’t start this blog without saying this, honestly he does. I struggle a lot with certain aspects of my faith but one thing is constant, the unwavering love God has for me. Half the time, I feel like I don’t deserve it but he does anyway.
I HAVE A LOT OF STORIES
If I wasn’t currently living this life, I’d say the things that have happened to me are all a lie but they are real and I’d very much like to share them with strangers because that’s the kind of person I am, a sharer. Every story you’ll read on my blog is a true-life story, I’m not going to embellish and there are some stories, I won’t reveal all the details either because repression works. However, I don’t share penis, that’s where I draw the line.
LACK OF A WORKING FILTER
If words like penis, vagina offend you, I’m not sure you really want to be here. I know how to behave appropriately in the required situations but this is a blog and life is not that hard.
VAIN AS FUCK
I like my face in a very unhealthy way. I’m not the finest person I know but look at the facts – my parents were right to combine their genes.
SOMEBODY CALLS ME MUMMY
Actually, two very beautiful girls know me as their mother. I don’t know what I did right in my past life to get them sent to my uterus but I must have been very good. They are the light in my life, my personal mood lifters and when I count my blessings, I count them a million times over.
LOVER OF LOVE
I’ve had unlucky experiences with love, the most recent being my failed marriage but I’m still a hopeless romantic. I love to see people in love. I think it’s a very beautiful thing if at the end of your life, you can say ‘I loved and I was loved.’ Everyone should experience this at least once in a lifetime. I still believe that there’s a great love in my future and I look forward to it.
I currently have a 9 to 5 as a customer relationship officer at a leading bank (actually 8 to 7 but this is not a complaint) and I’m also a French-English-French translator. I’ve done the translation bit freelance for two years and I’m currently in the process of structuring the business with my partners and our site will be live soon. So, if you have such needs, I’m your girl.
I have a lot of these but the real champions have to be biscuits (I can talk about biscuits for days), tea (I want to host an actual tea party someday), pretty cups (I collect these from teacups to straw cups even when I have no need for them), music (eclectic taste so I listen to everything, music is how I cope when life is shitty) and money (this should actually be number one, they say money can’t buy happiness but money can buy me a shitload of bourbon biscuits and that’s happiness to me).
The first time someone referred to me as one, it was actually meant as an insult but I was not offended by it, instead I was jolted and I started to do my research and realised that indeed, I fell under the feminist canopy. I don’t talk much about it because I feel as if I’m not qualified to but that’s changing, I plan to talk and do more for the cause.
DEOLASHOMO IS A DELIGHT
I wrote myself this personalised mantra on my twitter page
‘I’m not someone you forget,
If you truly experience me, you’ll always remember me,
Even when I’m down, I’m a delight’
Honestly, you want to know me, my joy is contagious. I believe I was born to bring light into other people’s lives, I’m more convinced about this with each passing day and I’ve been waiting for one big project to allow me do that but I’m done waiting so hopefully this blog series can mean something to someone.
How do other bloggers end their posts? *insert it here*