2014: Revelation, Understanding and Learning – CeeCee
New year 2014 was the first time I didn’t spend New Year with any member of my family; work commitments did not permit it. I thought I would be bored, lonely and depressed. Thankfully it was none of those and attending Crossover service with my friends had a lot to set the tone right.
I had a lot of expectations for this year but most importantly, I wanted to be happy. In the 2nd half of 2012 and the 1st half of 2013, I passed through a lot of periods of low self-esteem, identity crisis, a relationship I had no business being in, my first heart break, and depression. The 2nd half of 2013 saw me trying to getting my act together, more like trying to put the pieces together and so this year, I desperately wanted to be happy.
I would say in all that happened this year, I really got to know myself, my strong points and weak points. Every time I told myself that I had it all together or I had my game on lock down, life threw me a curve ball and I am grateful I was able to see the lessons in it and not just get depressed about it.
I realised most importantly that God has to be the very centre of my being. I got to really understand the phrase “there is a vacuum in our hearts that can only be filled by God”. Letting go and letting Jesus take the wheel was something I learnt and it wasn’t easy because I am someone who likes to be on top of things. I am thankful I let go because it was only by his grace I was able to handle somethings that happened this year. Did I get my Christian walk perfectly done? No. Oh boy the cross has to be picked up daily oooo.
Let me share a testimony, I got healed from chronic joint pains I have had for almost 2 years and earlier this year, during my routine check-up it was discovered I had a urinary tract infection with bacteria that seem to be resistant to almost every antibiotics that it could be tested against. I took antibiotics and kept repeating the test but it always cultured bacteria in my system. I decided to stop taking antibiotics and put it into prayers. I repeated the test and my system was clear! Fear got a hold of me recently and I ran to the lab to do the test again – still clear!
As with must singupringus, I joined my friends at the beginning of the year to make the usual hopeful declarations concerning love and marriage. “I will get married by December in dah MIGHTY name of Jesus!” As I got more self-aware, I realised I had a very negative mindset towards marriage and was a bit oblivious of the “work” that goes into it. I blame it all on Mills and Boon (I kid……I kid you not,lol). Well I decided to give myself a break from relationships to work on myself but life with its twists and turns made it such that my best friend, who I had a crush on by the way, told me he was in love with me and get this, he said this the night before I relocated out of that country!!!!!!!!!! Double sigh!!!!!!! (it didn’t lead to anything by the way). Getting to the end of the year, I think I am ready to be in a relationship and get married now though.
Work and career wise, I finished my housejob and relocated back to Nigeria for the NYSC program. It has been a delightful experience and I made a lot of friends at camp. But, NYSC is STRESSFUL mehn! I have never lived on so tight a budget or trekked this much in my Iife; it’s really under the sun or in the rain as they sing it.
I developed good work ethic and I was glad it spoke for me. I also dealt with work place sexual harassment for the first time and hopefully the last *cringes* and I was glad I was able to deal with it, put an end to it and not run mad. My job was not threatened because I wasn’t employed by my supervisor directly so I didn’t feel like I had no choice or stuff like that. I wasn’t afraid to act out and insisted I be removed from that department. Thank God.
I had a wonderful 8 days experience volunteering with the global brigades in the central region of Accra Ghana. It was really humbling to see what people in the rural areas of Africa are really going through, the poverty was numbing and it made me realise I had a lot to be grateful for.
The trip was a real eye opener.
Fitness goals for this year went down the drain as I rediscovered the joys of eating meat pie and egg roll *hides face*. I was quite dedicated to regular exercising and dieting until a moving back and living with family gave me convenient excuses to eat like a grub and put back on all the weight I have lost. God help me not to leave fit fam and end up in pigfam.
All in all, I would say I was full of joy, even in the low moments. Yes, there were moments of fear, sadness, confusion and uncertainty but I had hope that everything would work out for my good unlike the previous years where I got so low and stared at having suicidal thoughts or using alcohol as a coping mechanism. I experienced the favour and healing of God and I had my family to be there for me every step of the way. I am really happy and grateful for them and for my friends too who encourage me at every point.
I hope the New Year is better in every sphere, filled with joy, love and laughter and success in whatever I set out to achieve. God willing, I will be alive and healthy to tell of the goodness of 2015.
Ceecee, you had so much happen to you this year! I hope your best friend crush isn’t who I think it is because I’d be so sad it didn’t happen. I’m also glad you stood up against sexual harassment and I wish more people would do so even if it meant risking a job. There’s a lot I’m happy about in this review but let me stop here for now LOL. Thank you very much for sharing.