Dusk: Ope

Hi everyone! First off,  I am glad to be alive and well to be able to write about my year on this platform; I don’t take the fact that I am alive for granted because so many people did not get the chance to make it this far into 2016. As we all know, the year has been one that a lot of people will not forget in a hurry- politically, economically and all, 2016 has stunned and favored a lot of people at the same time.

Straight to the reason I am writing this post; taking stock of my year so far is a task that I wasn’t sure I was ready to take on because it’s been quite an emotional year for me. I began the year not expecting too much from life in general, and I shared this in my post on Olatoxic’s blog earlier in the year. I was willing to take whatever life threw at me, and really didn’t think it was a good idea to keep hope alive.

Later in the year, I did experience a glimmer of hope, and I decided to adopt a much more positive outlook on life.  A lot of great things happened. I got a raise at work, I was able to do more financially for my folks, and I was able to do some things for myself. I finally applied to study at my Alma Mater for my postgraduate degree (I passed the exams and I am currently waiting for the admissions list to be released). Yeah, lots of great things happened.

One thing I wished could have worked out better was my relationships. I got to learn a lot more about men and the sacrifices I would have to make to sustain a relationship in a society like ours. I learned that I still suck at making the right choice when it comes to men, and I had my share of heartbreaks for the year.  I think the one that hurt me most was the one where I was made to believe I had some spiritual issues at first, and then told that I couldn’t be with who I loved because I was from Ijebu Ode in Ogun State (Dude is from Edo State), because his sisters did not approve of people from my side of the country (???).  Something inside me is convinced though that homeboy just got tired of pretending to love me and so kept looking for the flimsiest excuses to bail. I realised that I am still an angry person on the inside, and this is something I intend to work on moving inside to 2017. I also learned that you do not necessarily need love to sustain a relationship, and that the less you love a person, the easier it would be to keep them intrigued about you.

I think all you need to keep someone is understanding and patience; and I am yet to fully develop the latter.  I hope to stay away from relationships for 2017, not because I do not want to be in one, but because I want to learn to love myself; I realised I did not love myself and enjoy my own company enough and this made me expect too much from the relationships I attempted to nuture.

I am hopeful for 2017, I do hope that things get better in the world, and in Nigeria. I hope the economy picks up so that young people like me will stop being afraid to commit to lasting relationships (I speak for myself, I am so scared of the thought of not having enough to raise a family). I hope for a better year at work and also more opportunities to develop myself and help others around me. See you all on the other side, I pray we all get a better deal in 2017.


is a convert of the concept of Hope, a young woman trying to appreciate life one day at a time.

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