​Hi guys, I’ve been so excited to write this rant/review that I wrote January and February sometime in July, and then laziness overtook me on the highway of life so I abandoned the rest.

 

January

I knew from the beginning of this year that it wouldn’t be all that, I mean I didn’t enter the year in church, 2015 that I entered in church was laika dis, laika dat, so imagine this year.  Like play like joke, January started, (most memorable part of it was going to port Harcourt to see my baby girl), and ended and school had started, 1st semester of final year, ewoooo, Chimoooo, went to register my courses and my course adviser told me I have one outstanding course that’s just 1 unit, please, my people, help me and ask FUTO and 2016 and even life itself where I offended all three of them. Skip my rant, I almost broke down in his office, but it’s me, FUTO has taken the tears due to it and I refuse to cry for it again. Sooo, moving on, right now I am currently trying to sort it out, pray for me, like Darey (I have jokes yunno?)

 

February

Valentine’s Day was spent in church; do you not know Jesus is the boyfriend of all single people? (I am currently sitting on my throne in the kingdom of singledom as I type this.) Moving on, a week after this, my 1st sister came back from obodo oyibo, and my watch in my parent’s house started like say I am/was Jon Snow(English isn’t my first language, so you’re really just laughing at yourself).

So, there I was going to school from home every day, a couple of days after my SIWES defense came up and even though it was sway as ever, my phone screen scattered, 18k bye-bye. 18k come and go and be going, I just may have cried a bit (I wasn’t the architect of the spoilage of my device of telecommunication hence the tears), family is awesome, my parents and sisters contributed money to replace my screen, in the end, they gave me more than I needed. Moving on.
Back to the present, the date is 12/12/16 and I am just starting the rest of the year’s review.

Somehow I can’t seem to remember how my year went, that’s how unremarkable it was. Buttttt

 

March, April, May.

My sister had been home for a while and I wasn’t about to leave her alone at home with all the wahala, I was feeling bad for her, 2 degrees in the bag and no job, so I stayed at home with her, I as usual was going to school from home, the stress was unreal, leave home by 7 am, finish lectures 2/3, stay at my friend’s place till 5/6, then go home, I just didn’t want her to be alone I suppose. Towards the end of March, the person who brings out the nuisance in me came around, and that was one of the best days of March.

April came and went and I wasn’t even pretending that I had anything going on for me, I was just going through motions every day, I had lost whatever zest I seemed to have at the beginning of the year, I was exhausted, horribly exhausted and I hadn’t even been doing anything at all.

Towards the end of April, my exams started, I was panicking, these were supposed to be my final first semester exams and I was hardly prepared, I moved back to school to write my exams and the rest like they say is history.

Now let’s take this back to 2013, in my second year first semester, I had issues, my result was horrible (I’d like to say it wasn’t all my fault but 50% of it was), I was in danger of not graduating and being me, I was a wreck (only people who know me well have seen me when I’m like this) to the rest of the world, it looks like I just laugh away my issues, this time it looked like my laughter wasn’t doing anything.

Back to the present, because of the issues I had, I wrote 3 courses more than my mates were writing; to say it was difficult is a gross understatement. I managed anyway.

While I was doing this, I was trying to work on my final year project that was assigned to my group members and I by my supervisor, 6 units and I didn’t know anything, Jon Snow had nothing on me.

 

June

School resumed and I continued going from home, results for the previous semester came in and as usual I had an issue,

To break it down real quick I wrote 2 of my dad’s courses (my dad is a Prof in my department) 2 normal courses, 1 course from the pit of hell and 3 lower level courses, I did really good, not trying to toot my own horn and all but my results were awesome, all except 1; a lower level course I wrote really well. Apparently my enemies didn’t want me to graduate; my name was omitted from the practical list. In FUTO if you write a course that has practical, if you miss it or don’t have a score for any reason whatsoever, even if you get 70/70 in your exam, you’re going to get an F. so there, you know, I had an F for a course I did my practical for and wrote the exam and I was going to have an extra semester.

I went to the department in charge of the course, checked my result and I got a B.

My journey of letter-writing started, I wrote a letter to the department for release of omitted practical score, while I was running around doing this, I still had project work, lectures, seminar preparation and stress from going from home to deal with.

 

July, August & September 

I was still battling with my omitted lab score, no replies were forthcoming,

Fast forward to the end of the month, my seminar defense came and went, I got an A, yay me. 

Birth month came and all I did was countdown to my 21st birthday, I was finally officially legal, my friends came through for me but at the end of the day, I felt empty.

September came and my sister got a job and left home, I think I was more excited about her job than she was, right about the time, she left, my second semester exams started, I wan muddddd, I wrote it anyhoooo, what’s a girl to do? On 27th of the month, I wrote my supposed last paper as a university student.

 

October and November.

Then came the difficult part, I was running around a lot for my project work after my exams, I had 2 courses now that were keeping me from graduating, all my letters to the department were going un-replied, my body broke down; I fell sick, I was hallucinating, slipping in and out of consciousness, my village people didn’t want me to see certificate I worked hard to get, according to the doctor, my blood pressure was too low and my heart rate was extraordinarily high, he blamed it on stress and me over thinking. I’m like ‘but doc, over thinking is my full time job and stress is my middle name”. I was unresponsive to treatment, I was losing weight, couldn’t keep my food down, what a wonderful way to end an already shitty year. My project defense came and on that day, I cried, I was down, really down, a lecturer on my defense panel hated/hates me, I was under tension, after my awesome presentation, the GSM part of my project refused to work, no idea what God did, but I got an A eventually.

Eventually I could get out of bed again without falling, I got better, went into school the following week to see my course adviser and look for courses to borrow for my extra semester, he was upset, shouting about the amount of work I was making him do, how he had to backdate my results and all. They had finally replied my letters and sent my results; I WAS GRADUATING!!!

Hayyy God, I was leaving this school and my cgpa was good too, hayyyy Jehovah.

For the rest of November, all I did was drive my dad and then the bad news came, my Godfather had died, Rest in Peace Uncle Femolala.

 

December

My convocation came and passed, I was emotional, seems like just yesterday I got into school, now I’m here, a graduate, may be unemployed but I’m sha a graduate.

Update; it’s December 22, 2016 and I’m just wondering which of my village people did this to me, it’s been 1 week of pure torture, right now I’m reasoning if I ignored one of those chain mails that promises 7 days of torture if you don’t forward it.

Exactly 1 week ago, someone hit me, my side of the car actually, tried to run off after he did, it took me swerving off the road to avoid maximum damage on impact. Fast forward to Sunday, my bed frame fell on my big toe, I’m sure the pain and agony I felt hasn’t been felt in any of Dante’s circles of hell. Fast forward to Tuesday morning, my elderly neighbor’s phone she gave me to fix was stolen from my car, then in the afternoon, while my car was parked in front of the salon, someone hit me (again), this time my side mirror was knocked out completely,

You guys, I was tired, trying to go and fix the mirror, something (the devil) slashed my tyre, let me change to my spare, my vulcanizer had swiped my jack and spanner, I broke down and cried, again for the umpteenth time in 5 days, eventually a couple of friends showed up and between them, we rounded up a jack and wheel spanner that fits the car.

Fast forward to Thursday being today, I went to check out my toe at the doctor and he told me they would have to drain the pus/blood in it, as in they’d have to cut my toe open. Starting the procedure, the anesthesia wasn’t working on my toe, so he did the draining without anesthesia, talk of advanced pain. You guys 2016 wants to kill me.

I’m here, I really can’t complain, my parents are healthy, my sisters have jobs, my baby brothers are getting bigger, I’m alive, my skin is glowing, my bank account is stable. I’m grateful, not excited just mellow-happy.

I have looked at my 30 days hopeful post.

These are the things I said I’d do.

– Graduate.

I did

– Pray.

I did, a lot, a whole lot.

– Read up to 100 new books this year,

I didn’t, but I did read up to 100 stories this year.

– Write more.

I’ve had writer’s block for so long, but I’ve written some stuff.

– Buy myself stuff

I didn’t keep this promise

– Realize relationships aren’t do-or-die affairs.

This one, I did, I actually avoided people who might want to get into anything serious with me, I mean I haven’t even kissed anyone this year.

– Learn to play the guitar.

Nope, my guitar is under my bed.

– Travel more.

I’ve left owerri only twice this year, sad life.

– Learn a language.

Nope, no new language.

– Pay attention to people who love me and appreciate them more.

I think I tried to do this, whether or not I failed, I don’t know.

– Lose weight, stay fit.

Lost weight while I was sick.

– Face confrontation head on, not every time ignore.

I did this; I even became a tad bit aggressive.
This year,

I made friends with my friends,

I learnt to save money, not for me really, in case a friend needs help in dire times,

I learnt that we all have flaws and these flaws make us,

I also realized I’m going to stay up till the last minute of this year to watch it die by fire and brimstone.

This is the end of this rant/review, I have nothing witty to say.

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Yeah I think you pretty much left it all on the pitch. Thank you so much Ogenna.