Dusk: Lade

Ah 2014.

This year has been a good one. A few bumps along the ride. The biggest thing that happened to me this year was passing Diploma and becoming a full Unilag student.

When I look back at 2012 and 2013 [LINK] (indisputably the worst years of my life) I’ll say this year has been awesome. I’ve come from a place of depression and darkness and self-hate and pretending to be happy and trying to find solace in pain and food.

I read my 2012 and 2013 reviews and I’m just amazed at how different things have turned out.

December last year, I remember tweeting, in a moment of hope, that 2014 would be my turn up year. That tweet turned out to be true. I achieved a lot more in this year than I thought I could.

After 2 years of not knowing what was happening with my lifeΒ I finally resumed school in January. And in high school I had been the smart kid. Top of the class. My mates were already in school, me at home. My parents won’t say it, but I know they were disappointed.

My relationship with my mother became better. It might have something to do with the fact that I’m hardly ever home.

I took risks. I started worrying less. My superpowers are overthinking everything and worrying about every damn thing. But, this year, I turned it down a notch.

Fear and worry will cripple you. Take risks. If they don’t pay off, dust yourself up and try again.

I finally started working on all the projects that I’d been thinking about. I hope to launch everything by the second quarter of 2015.

Pain is temporary. When joy comes, you forget all the pain. Timehop showed me that. I see tweets where I’m all “this is the worst day of my life”. “I want to die”. “I feel like I’m floating. Drifting away” “Nothing makes sense anymore”. All these tweets and facebook posts. And I can’t even remember why I said all those things.

Lade has always been a single pringle. I haven’t tried at relationships. Because, insecurity and my overthinking and over-worrying superpowers. This year, I learnt to love myself more. I went on dates. Had my heart broken three times.Β Maybe it really wasn’t heartbreak, but I was really hurt.

You know how they say that something great is in front of you and you don’t notice? Well, I finally noticed.

I’m thankful for the awesome friends I made in school. I tweeted something about “I’m making the friends I want to grow up with.” These people are amazing. Sewa, Tosin, Uche, Nife, the entire TEdxUnilag organizing team. Although, most of them are leaving :'(

Mobola, Onyinye, Nazom, Steph, Quam, my entire Psychology class. Laughs for days. Trouble makers.

Kene, Mayowa, the guys at UX Lagos.

I have to find somewhere to put Oyin in this post. Because, babe has been awesome. One of the people that made this year great.

Ibukun, Frank, Temitope, Uncle Efe, Gbemisoke. Always there to listen.

My Leopard People!! My book club is awesome. It’s over a year old and we only just met for the first time in November. Awe.

People keep saying that in the long run, you can’t really count on the people you meet via twitter. And I keep saying that you actually can. These people have been great additions to my life. Asides my psychology class, all the people who made this year great, I met them off twitter.

I turned 18 in October. Yaaaayyy. Best birthday week ever. Except that my phone screen decided to stop working. Fixed it sha.

I didn’t read as many books as I’d planned to read. I bought lots of books. I went out more. I wrote more. I started volunteering for Stand To End Rape Initiative in September.

This living on your own thing is hard when it comes to money. Technically, I don’t live on my own. But, I’m in hostel (outside school).Β  Asides pocket money, I have paid jobs. Let’s just say I suck at saving. At the beginning of the year, I was doing fine but then I don’t know what happened.

On my relationship with God. I don’t even know again. I don’t know how to pray anymore. I can’t even read my bible. The thing is, my faith isn’t “unwavering” anymore. Sometimes, I feel too inadequate. I can’t go to church. I feel too ashamed to be in church or pray or praise. I’m trying now. I said a prayer yesterday

I’m in a very happy place and I’m excited about what 2015 will bring.

========================

Lade, thank you for coming on here. Remember, all your past reviews have had us watching eagerly for your progress. No pressure. Just recognition of your immense potential. Again, thank you for sharing.

highlandblue

I love to learn. I love to teach. For me the two are the same.

30 Comments

  • gboukzi says:

    I’m grateful for your life. It’s easy to see that you’re going places, and I pray that you continue to make good progress, ad the days go by.

    By the way, thank God you finally noticed that great something in front of you. I hope it is who…sorry, what I’m thinking. πŸ˜‰

  • Ineffablewater says:

    Beautiful. You’re an awesome babe who is going places already. I always wonder when I watch you from a distance. I didn’t know who I was when I was 18. You shouldn’t worry so much. You are coming into yourself and that is something to be proud of. Eons ahead your peers already.

  • Tomboxe says:

    Baby Lade. I love to tease you about being a young’un, because you’re really just a baby girl – a baby girl I envision great things for. Here’s to a beautiful 15.

  • You are amazing!!. I’m glad I met you this year too. πŸ™‚

  • Batty says:

    Hey Lade at 18 I wasn’t even in Uni yet. I was still mostly a baby boy so you see you’re doing great .. Enjoy the now, don’t get seriously ahead of your self. There’s a lot of life ahead of you I mean you ain’t even started yet so chill.

  • iEdafe says:

    You are aeons ahead of your peers in terms of focus and direction. Knowing what you want to achieve so early in your life …that is highly commendable. You are certainly destined for the top.

  • Muyiwa Saka says:

    Lade, You ‘ve got your head in the right place and you will definitely go far.

    Your story sounds so familiar (top-of-the-class –>depression–>late entry–(hopefully)–>spectacular end) because I had a similar path. Quite sure you now have the drive to make up for lost time and surpass your wildest expectations.

    My takeaway from your post will be the part on worrying less and over-thinking less (yes, a verrry commmon superrrpowerrrr ).

    Keep working hard. Keep being as open-minded/creative/friendly. Keep believing in yourself.

    God bless you, Lade.

  • Abimbola says:

    Lade’s a talented girl, for sure. Very down to earth and hardworking. Not exaggerating, If every organisation had lade’ it’d be a better place. We’re blessed to have you at STER. I’d say you deserve to be happy, you deserve success. I join with you in celebrating the hurdle. Keep shining darl

  • Temitope says:

    I always tell you, you’re awesome. See?

  • Loxie says:

    Congrats Lade!!!
    Nothing like some adversity on the path of greatness to enable us empathise with others and also teach us about life. It very often is the case and yours came early.
    You are amazing for an 18 year old and just thinking about you in the light of your post leaves me smiling. I celebrate all the firsts and your focus and tenacity in the face of your dreams. Can’t wait to see what you blossom into. Shine on girl…Here’s to a 2015 that is all you desire and more.

  • janet . says:

    You’re doing great b. Someone might just be hoping to step into your shoes of greatness πŸ™‚ Tell me about the Stand To End Rape Initiative ?, thank you . You’re awesome too x

  • Chibogu says:

    You. Are. Amazing! Who said role models always have to be older? Cheers! To a better 2015!

  • Aww Lade
    I don’t know you well, but I think you’re a pretty cool person. And you’re doing so much at your age. More than a lot of us can say we were up to, at 18. Happy you’re over your teenage angst (lol I hated that phase of my own life)- here’s to a great year with love, and purpose! x

  • Lade says:

    Thank you Ekene πŸ˜€

  • CommentMy baby girl, what can I say but that I am happy for and mighty proud of you (and I have always been even those times………shey you get, lol) ! I never for once had any doubts about you, never dissapointed not at all; those speedbreakers / bumps were just God’s way of telling you to take a chill pill and as you can see the wait has been worth it………………………….Just remain focused darling girl! Love you loads to the moon and back

  • Your 2014 made sense. I can identify with the last paragraph though. The one that talked about faith. I had and still have my ‘mountains and valleys’ too.

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