2015 was a good year for me.
For 5 years I have made decisions about my life and career that very few people seem to get. I refused to use my engineering degree. I worked in print and publishing, then volunteered at a non-profit, ran my own business for a short time and last year I moved to Lagos to work with a media/PR company.
I’ve been in Lagos for one year and five months. People tell me, ‘moving to Lagos was the right decision, see how much you’ve grown.’ I smile because I know that all the time I spent in Hadeija and Nnewi and Awka; all the times when I was told I was wasting my potential, all the times it seemed like I wasn’t making any progress were leading up to this point.
Towards the end of the year, I got a great writing gig on the side. I wasn’t even looking; one Facebook message and bam, I’m getting paid.
Lumps and Bumps
I’ve always believed in miracles, but not till I was prepped for surgery (with a big ass needle sticking out of my wrist, that stuff looked like a tap head) and the surgeon was about to cut a lump out of my breast and he couldn’t find it, did it really come home to me how much of a miracle I am. This was after two doctors had examined me and told me though it didn’t look like anything serious, I should undergo the surgery.
A long time ago, something bad happened. Some sense of self preservation made me forget. I would have flashes of memory at odd times; a word, a smell, a thought, a story. This year, there was just so much talk about rape and sexual abuse that I remembered much more than I had before. I still can’t look too closely at the memories but I have gotten on the path to what I believe is total healing. And somewhere on that path I will find the grace to forgive.
Friendship and Forgiveness
I’ve never lacked friends. Somehow for every stage of my life I’ve never been alone.
And just when I think, nah, I can’t make any more friends, where am I going to fit them? I meet more people who get me and love me regardless of all my skoin skoin (as I get older I seem to develop more of those).
This year I wasn’t there for my close friend when she needed me. And for a long time we weren’t talking. But she forgave me. Another friend who I’d offended years ago also came back into my life. It humbles me to realise that I am worth something to these two ladies and all the others who stay.
Lol. For the first time in my life, my mum asked me about marriage. Not in a pressured way, just in passing, like ‘how far? Anybody dey?’ Me and my mum have always had this connection; like the woman always seems to have a mental device that beeps when anything flutters in my life. I’ve almost always been happy with my own company, but this year I got listless, I wanted more (and she sensed it). It does get lonely sha, not having anyone to call me and ask ‘what did you eat today?’ *sigh*
I’m the last of plenty children so I decided by myself to adopt a brother and a sister, Runor and Eguono (more like they adopted me). I’m borderline psycho protective of them and I tend to be pushy but for some reason they still want me to be their ‘big sister’.
. . . and five other things
- I went for the Farafina Creative Writing Workshop and met the most amazing human beings. Last year, I came into my own as a writer. This year, I got some much needed validation for my editing.
- The last time I had cake was my first birthday. I got two cakes for my birthday this year. And one of them came from a woman I’ve never met, a Facebook friend who lectures outside the continent.
- I don’t have a car and I can’t afford to take cabs all the time but I went out more this year than all of my life combined. The importance of friends that have cars and are willing to give you rides home cannot be overemphasized. I still jumped danfo and okada plenty (at all hours), and I never had a bad experience.
- This is my last year in my twenties. I turn 30 in 2016. That alone is making me want this year to do and finish already.
- As I write this I’m plagued with guilt about my relationship with God. I know I should and can do something about it but I’m just here, typing this.
‘It’s not that deep’
I said that a lot this year. It helped me ignore the ephemeral and concentrate on the people and things that do matter. I laughed, I cried, I hugged, I danced in the street, I lived and I remember all of it. There was no need to forget.
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Jite dear friend thank you very much for penning this review here. We’re extra glad to be a part of it! Thank you very much. I’m sending the invoice of your plug to your mailbox.