Dusk: Ire

Happy Birthday to me!

 

Yes. It’s my birthday!

 

*insert your goodwill messages here*

 

Awww. Thank you very much, that’s sweet of you.

 

Hi. Her name is Ire

…and this is/was her 2013.

 

I nearly died at the beginning of this year.

I was ready to go.

Life had paused.

 

She had become her insides.

Her insides had become all of her.

Skin was melting away.

All one could see? Bones.

 

Tamela Mann || Take Me To The King

 

She was ready to go in January

She was ready to quit in February

Her newfoundland

Her career

Her first life

Her first attempt

She did

To leave behind love discovered in February

Love, newly discovered

Love, growing within her

Within him

Stronger

She did

She died

A million and one deaths

We said goodbye to her in April

We gave birth to a new lady in May

 

Kelly Clarkson || Stronger

 

She leaped.

Haha no. She crawled first, of course

She found strength in Bankole.

Her friend, her confidant

She found strength in Tolulope.

Her friend, her nigga

She found laughter in Ore

Her buddy, her tirinbeku nigga

She found strength in Funlola

Her sweetness, her sis

She found comfort in Valerie

Her sunshine, her roses

She found rest in Veronica

Her support, her sister

She found love, again, in Adeyemi

Her… man

She discovered that the only power fear had

Was the one she gave it.

She stopped feeding her fears.

They became skinny, like she had been.

They became empty, hungry, more vicious.

Louder

And then…

A vacuum

So, she replaced fear

With trust, with faith, with love

She learned to let go

To forgive

She still hasn’t learnt forgetting.

 

Hezekiah Walker – Timiney Figueroa || Calling My Name

 

She misses him

Everyday

She tries to go to his house, once a week.

There are too many people there.

She’s too busy giving them food, water

Too busy to see him

He called her once

“Martha, Martha, thou art anxious, and troublest thyself about many things”

She keeps going tho’

She needs to be there.

Always

She keeps bringing people to the entrance

She keeps showing them the way

She refuses to go in.

Maybe, 2014

If there is a 2014

She found a path in a well

She got in

She climbed up and out of the well

Now, she’s walking into a desert

A desert with oases

Biggest Girl

Not really, she still weighs less than 65kg

Which is fine

The fit life needs to be lived

 

Happy Birthday to me

Goodbye 2013

 

2014, how bodi?

 

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I hardly know Ire and she hardly said anything definite here. But somehow reading this I feel like I know her and as if she said it all. Slightly confused about how that’s possible. Happy birthday dear Ire. Much love