Dear Tweet Crush

Dear Mread,

During a meeting with my boss today, he caught me smiling for no apparent reason and gave me this really confused stare. But, that’s not even new. I catch myself smiling a lot these days, sometimes I even Laugh Out Loud and it’s always because I remember something you tweeted.

Your sense of humour is epic! You really have no idea how many screenshots of your tweets I have on my phone. With every one of your tweets, I’m amazed at how your brain functions. You have the most randomly intelligent thoughts and you dish out the words like a master. You make the possibility of me being sapiosexual a thought but I’m not even going to claim I am because these twitter people don’t know how to observe chill when someone uses that word. They just pounce on you.

Funny but none the things I even feel for you is sexual. And it’s not because I still don’t know what you look like because since I started following you in December you’ve had this picture of beautiful blue skies as your avatar. But I’m not complaining. I’m not any a hurry to see you. Mystery and suspense is intriguing and incredibly sexy.

Nevertheless, thanks to my graphic mind, I have a picture that fits this character that you are perfectly. In my head, you’re a tall, say 5 feet 11, dark-skinned geek with full eyebrows, big brown eyes that sparkle with enthusiasm, full luscious lips, a dimple on your left cheek and when you laugh, you laugh out really loud. But Mread, even if you look nothing like this, then the way you look must be the best a man can look. Gosh! You’re just so perfect in my eyes. And who knows, maybe seeing you might kill all this fire and I don’t want to risk that.

I’m at a loss for words to describe what you do to me that makes me yearn for more and more of your tweets. Mread, you close work at 4pm right? Cos your tweets pause at about that time and resume at about 6:30pm. I just rush all the way home within the time frame so I can catch your tweets stream live and feel your mood and coolness oozing through my phone screen. I noticed you complain about Ikorodu traffic many times, and each time I imagine I’m right beside you keeping you company so you don’t even have to tweet about the horror. Lest I forget, I open your TL on a separate tab on my office laptop so I can stay refreshing every 3 mins or so. LOL. I’m not even ashamed to say any of this. After all you don’t follow me back and I don’t bother tweeting at you. I continue to watch you silently, fantasizing and hoping you won’t notice me. I really am just content to love you from a distance.

I’ve never been one to read romance novels so I never had fantasies of a hunk that I want to fall in love with. In fact, maybe I had never really given the idea of my kind of man a thought. But you, my darling, have given form to my ideal man. You come across as a balanced man, able to hold your own on every subject. And when the most ridiculous questions are thrown at you, you answer with such grace. Could this be love? LOL These unidentifiable emotions. Saying I’m in awe of you probably sums it all up. Maybe that’s why I named you my DREAM and turned the letters around to MREAD to mask my obsession.

You’d never get to read this. Or maybe you would since I’m posting it on a friend’s blog soon. I hope that when you do read this, you feel butterflies in your tummy as a sign that all this is about you.

Truckload of hugs and kisses,

PS: I think your friends with protected tweets are really annoying cos they keep making my work of following your conversations impossible. Ugh!


I think Tope (@TS_Tiana) got this tweet crush thing figured out right. I hope we have a guy respond to this soon LOL.


I love to learn. I love to teach. For me the two are the same.


  • etana007 says:

    Lol! So cute! Mr Mread had better claim his identity quickly.

  • oluwachick says:

    This could have been me writing this. Have this twitter crush that am so crazy about. My friend thinks m mad. But I think he is cute, sweet, smooth and intelligent, adorable…. Sigh but I tweet at him but not too much to seem like a stalker(I practically am x_x)

  • DontAsk says:

    This has to be love.

  • Timiebix says:

    I have one too(baby must not see this) but I don’t wanna meet him or see him cos like every crush I’ve met, I’ll just act or say something stupid 😐
    I remember meeting Basketmouth and I was like …. I couldn’t even open my mouth to say good morning, dude said “morning madam” I replied and ran. Still hope I didn’t leave him with the impression that i was a snooty somborri 🙁
    Thanks uncle Efe for the post, peeps be waiting night and day :p

  • Mz_Shadee says:

    Haaaayy!!!! Tiana knows why I’m Hay-ing o. *side eye*
    Lovely. And to think I was just thinking about my Twitter crush earlier today. I wonder what happened to it…the crush I mean. * shrug *

  • *screaming* this is crushtastic (^,^)/ . Please he should claim it quickly. I’ve stopped crushing on twitter. They all end up being stupidly annoying :>

  • TM.Lucia says:

    You know, I can swear we are crushing the same guy! In fact, I’m thinking of doing a copyright (with a little editing to suit my own feelings of course) and sending to him.
    Just like you, I haven’t seen him yet and I’m okay just as…even though a close friend knows him sha.
    Bleh! Don’t care. I’m taking the plunge. It didn’t feel any better holding it in so…

  • Jk_McDazzles says:

    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL Laddddyyyyy!!!!!! (Does your ‘he’ know??)

  • Jk_McDazzles says:

    You know, I kind of sort of almost understand this..
    I remember one guy like that late last year.. Smiles.. So many things I can describe him with but what i liked most was that even when any of his tweets are attacked with bitterness, he always replied politely, and argued his point without any caustic remarks..LOL..
    And then he went off twitter for like a month..Gosh! When he came back, I jumped into his dm and typed “I missed you”. LOL. Thank God for the network that didnt let it deliver and gave me a second chance to rephrase and say, “I missed your tweets”.. Sweet, sweet boy..

    Ok. Back to real life you guys, don’t look at their picture, don’t get up close and all personal, don’t even tweet at them so much, don’t let your mini-crush on anybody on twitter ever become maxi-ache.. Keep it the Tope way, “…from a distance” 😉

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