Adebisi: Of Gold and Its Refiner’s Fire.
October 8th, 2016
“I am a testimony and evidence of God’s endless mercies, faithfulness (beyond compare!), goodness and wondrous miracles – and He has only just started with me!”
1 year ago…
What started as ‘just a flu’ on the 7th of October 2015 became a 1-year long nightmare that I have lived through (and survived) for almost 24 hours of every day since I slumped in the hospital on the 8th of October 2015.
Since then –
I have been ‘diagnosed with’, ‘observed for’ and/or ‘treated for’ Malaria, Aneamia, Acute Stress, Ulcer, Muscle Spasms, ‘Collapsed Vertebrae’, Photophobia, Astigmatism, Infection of the Blood Stream, PID, Endometriosis, Cervical Spondylosis, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Inflammations, Asthma and Depression.
I have survived inhumane treatment from my previous employer for 3 of the 4 months that I was a dedicated staff of their organization.
November 23rd 2015
Daystar Workers’ Dinner
I left midway through the event.
Dressed to the nines in my beautiful red dress, I crawled into the church auditorium in immense pain. My plan was to go lie down on the stage – for some measure of respite from the pain. I made it only as far as the front row. I crawled to Pastor Sam’s chair and clung to it for my dear life. Hugging his chair, Pastor Nike’s chair and the stool between them, I cried to God in pain…
“God, if you deliver me from this – word will not be heard. I will continue to testify about it till you ask me to shut up about it. God please, don’t let ‘whatever this is’ to claim my life. Please.”
God blessed me with a new job and an employer from whom I have received the most unbelievable of kindnesses till date.
Non-stop, I have taken more medications in 1 year than I have taken my whole life(!) – ranging from heavy-duty painkillers, knock-out IVs, supplements, anti-depressants and others. I have been at the mercies of – and taken advantage of by, the good-bad-and-uglies of Nigeria’s Medical & Healthcare system.
I have had 2 minor and 2 major Heart (Respiratory) Attacks, lost my mind several times, had my heart broken a few times, been robbed and had my back/spine literally ‘pack up’ more times than I can remember.
My conversations with God have ranged from;
“Lord, make me a vessel for Your glory”
TO “I don’t care what you do – just keep me alive to say thank you”
TO “I will not give up without a fight. I will not die crawling on my knees – I will go up in my chariot of fire!”
TO “Tani mo se? Who did I offend? Why is all of this happening to me?”
TO “I don’t want to die!!!”
TO “Lord, is this the day I die?”
I have run away from my home, contemplated suicide a couple of times, struggled with (and triumphed over) addiction – to my pain medications, given up, started over, given up… basically, been through many hells and back.
I prepared my will and sent to 2 of my closest friends – just in case. I was ‘ready’ to take my last breath.
In this same period, I have grown in my career, my business has flourished, I have attended and graduated from Bartending School, been placed on pedestals of recognition, mentored young people, connected people with jobs & opportunities, I have found God-sent angels in many kind Samaritans that were total strangers to me prior to now and I have found God – finally.
I have benefitted from God’s goodness than I can ever be able to put in words!
1 year later. Here I am – still kicking!
It may take the rest of my lifetime to fully articulate what God has brought me through – it is still hard for me to comprehend the enormity of it all.
For gold to be Gold, it must pass through fire – the Refiner’s Fire.
I am still on my journey to becoming Gold; God being the pilot of this journey.
There’s too much I want to say – that no words can adequately convey.
I have tried to find the words but only come up two –
Would my heartfelt ‘Thank You’ do?”