So at the end of the year we look back and think of all the things that went well for us, and the things that didn’t go so well, then we weigh them up against one another, add a splash of hope (and/or faith, or whatever rocks your spiritual boat) and proclaim that it’s been a good/average/bad/shitty year.
I’m not going to do all of that. I’m neither smart enough nor spiritual enough for all that. Let me rephrase that. I’m gonna do the whole looking back thing, but I’m not gonna take an average and I’m not gonna proclaim what kind of year it’s been.
What I will say is 2013 has been a humbling year. I found out I’m nowhere near as smart as I’ve been made to believe. Or as nice. Or as talented. Or as I-really-just-don’t-give-a-damn.
I failed this year. The school’s student liaison said I shouldn’t have pulled a Superman stunt and started a master’s degree so soon after losing my dad. It hurt, but not that much. The modules that are directly related to what I want to do I passed without too much effort.
This made me think.
What’s the point of struggling through all this academic stuff when my gifts clearly lie elsewhere? People who went to school with me would probably be aghast at hearing me say I’m not academically gifted, but it is what it is. I’ve found that out.
Entering 2013 I hoped to put out 3 EPs. I haven’t finished one track I’m completely happy with. I put out a couple of songs, but only because I knew I wasn’t gonna go back to them and I really didn’t care about them overmuch. But I did find a studio I’m happy with, and there is music coming. No timeframe, but it’s coming.
Oh, and I met a hell of a lot of awesome people this year. It’s amazing. Some I actually got to hang out with a bit, others who I hope I get to meet in person at some point.
Last thing. I found myself missing my dad quite a few times this year. Which is odd, as our relationship was fraught with… Well… Whatever difficult relatioinships are fraught with. Fact remains, I was his favourite, and with that comes a certain amount of affection, no matter how grudging it is. I realised as well that my dad never hugged me. Not once in 26 and a half years. But that was just the kind of man he was. Which probably explains why I… Never mind.
So yeah, it’s been a good/average/bad/shitty year. It’s had a bit of everything, so as I said, I’m not going to proclaim which if the above it was.
I’m not gonna make any declarations for 2014 either. Scripture says time and chance have a say in how things go down, so I’m not second-guessing them. I will ask a question though, of myself, and of you, if it applies to you.
Are you happy? If not, why aren’t you doing the things that make you happy ?
Live long. Prosper. Smile. Do.
Had no idea you lost your dad, bro. Sighs… Really sorry to hear about that. Salute your courage. I’m on the waiting list for your music too.