The room is completely dark and the air is hot as I open my eyes, and look at the time on my phone. It’s 6:00 a.m – an hour after my alarm went off. The sound of my neighbour’s generator rips through the air.

I don’t want to go to the office today.”

That’s the first thought that pops into my head. And it is an unusual thought. You see, I love work. So, having such a thought tells me something; I have started feeling dissatisfied with my job, feeling the need to move again. I say my prayers, and begin my morning.

Pieces Slowly Falling into Place.

This is the fourth company I will be working for this year outside my business and consulting. For someone who doesn’t have a degree, and in an economy where people say there are no jobs – I don’t accept this as my reality – that’s a lot to be grateful to God for.

I quit the job I had with a financial services company in April. I had been with them for 17 months, and had planned to stay for at least 2 years. But they betrayed my loyalty. There was no job offer in place, but I resigned anyway.

My second job this year started in May. These guys had wanted to hire me since last September. I turned them down then. But a week after I resumed working there, I left. An offer came for a role with a media and communications company in Surulere. However, they wanted me to undergo a one week trial before giving me a substantive offer. I took the risk because it was a chance to get into marketing.

It didn’t work out, and they let me go after the trial, saying I wasn’t the ‘right fit.’ In essence, they said I wasn’t good enough. This shook my confidence a bit. But I kept on believing. In my mind, something better would come. And it did.

About two weeks later, Simbo sent me a message on Whatsapp, asking me to send her my CV. A week after that, I got interviewed for my present job. It’s a marketing role with a marketing agency – a ‘dream’ job. I love it. I have developed marketing strategies for major multi-national companies, I have been involved in executing a few. My practical marketing knowledge and proposal development skills have improved a lot, and it is the platform I needed to switch from sales to marketing. But I’m thinking about moving again.

Women.

Women are ‘somehow.’ But like my friend, Gboyega, said, “you sef no know say you dey somehow?”

There was a lady I started talking to and I really liked. She seemed perfect. But suddenly, it all went cold. And I still don’t know why because she didn’t say.

I wonder if maybe I rushed things. This led to my developing an analogy for how to approach women: some you treat like a cold bottle of Gulder on a sunny day – to be rushed; others you treat like hot banga soup and starch – to be taken slowly. But how do you know which approach to use? I am sure if I were just looking for sex, things won’t be this ‘complicated.’

Two of my closest friends always talk about marriage when I see them or we have a conversation. They think I am not putting in enough effort to get a woman. I am. It just hasn’t worked out. And as a result, I am starting to lack the zeal to talk to women. I ask for phone numbers, but I don’t call until days or weeks after. Sometimes, not at all.

El Shaddai.

I started the new year wanting to be closer to God, to begin fulfilling His purpose for me, and to seek his direction in all I do, instead of my usual way of making decisions myself. It hasn’t been a committed relationship on my part. I drifted away for most of the third quarter. The spiritual and leadership classes at my church, The WaterBrook, have helped to bring me a bit closer. I am learning.

Recently, I heard this song by All Sons & Daughters, “Brokenness.” This song captures how loving God is, and I know regardless of how broken I am, He still loves me, and I can be perfect in Him.

Keeping Hope Alive.

After 270 days of staying clean, my addiction caught up with me again. I succumbed to the lies my mind told me.

I am back on the ‘straight and narrow path’ now. It’s only been 14 days, but I’m believing this time I will go all the way, with the fruit of the spirit giving me more self-control.

The financial services company I left in April wants me back for a marketing role. We are still talking, and I am thinking about it.

I have also thought about quitting this 9 – 5 life and focusing fully on business/the new company I am starting next year, at least for a year, and then deciding what I want to do after. I know where I want to be in 3 – 5 years. Sometimes I’m just not sure what route I will take.

I often wonder if I will ever find as much fulfillment from being an employee as I get from being an entrepreneur. Don’t get me wrong; I always give my all to my job and my employers. I am very passionate. It’s just not the same. You feel me?

God, I need your direction.

Unlike a lot of people, I am in no hurry for 2015 to be over. There are a few things I still want to achieve – like paying off a particular debt that has been long overdue and become a burden in my heart, improving my financial position and reviving Barows 21.

It’s only a few weeks till the end of the year, but that’s enough time for one more miracle, one more windfall, one more testimony.

To Simbo Olatoregun, Damilola Oyedele, Joy Ehonwa and Efe Ori-Jesu, what would my year be without you guys? Thank you for helping me put food on my table.

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Dear Elijah, your year-end review has endeared you to our hearts even more. Maybe I speak for everyone when I say this, but you are the one we most want to see succeed or “hammer”. Please when you decide to stop jumping upandan and finally settle down to hammer, remember all of us in your kingdom. Yes please, remember Stories dot ng or else we will use this post to remind you. LOL