2014, aka Two Steps Back.
I smiled a lot, as usual. I spent the whole of 2014 smiling. In happiness, in pain, in melancholy, in anger, in confusion, in glory. I smiled.
Three things stood out this year.
From a professional standpoint, this year was a mass of frustration. An inability to move up or on from my present job left me severely depressed at times, but somehow I always turned up at work with smiling at my customers as I turned their digital memories to something much more tangible. Photography is a rewarding profession in its own right, and I’d be content to continue in my present employment if it was something I was passionate about, as it’s not the hardest job in the world, and the smiles you get to bring to people daily are a reward all of themselves. But I digress.
Music requires money. And between being a stupid over-nice friend and taking care of a house too big for me to live in alone, I’ve struggled. So music has suffered. I could go the easy route and record everything myself, but I’m critical of even the best work, so that small scale, autotuned and reverbed vocal thing I do at home will not even begin to cut it.
My gift. My curse. My passion.
In more positive news, three songs from the EP that’s been in the works longer than Detox has are ready. And I’m happy with one of them. Haha.
Also, I hardly wrote this year. I need to fix up with that. Apparently every talent you let go to waste is a crime against humanity and I don’t want to add that to my steadily lengthening rap sheet.
I travelled this year. I’ve been telling myself I need a holiday forever, and when I had two consecutive days off work I picked up my bags and went to spend them in Milan. It’s a beautiful city, as rural as it is urban. The company wasn’t half bad either.
I went with my brother and his little clan to Disneyland Paris. It was amazing. Now I just need to go again without having to chase my niece all over the place. I hope to do that soon. Hope. Haha.
I went to football matches, to concerts. I fulfilled a long term dream to watch Eminem live. I even allowed the folk at work to drag me off to a Halloween party. I lived a little. I got broke enjoying myself. It was fun. Now I have more reasons to be rich and famous and stuff.
Not considering a one month NYSC camp indulgence in 2010, at the beginning of this year I’d not been in a relationship for 7 years. A long ass time, in anyone’s book. You know what? Let’s consider that little camp dalliance. 4 years sounds better than 7, no? So let’s make it 4 years.
Still a long time to be single.
So I fell in love. Not in one go, but gradually. It’s my usual process, liking someone, being a good friend, growing into love. It’s meant that my relationships tend to stay cordial, even friendly, long after we’ve broken up and all romance has faded.
So let me rephrase that. I ambled aimlessly into love. It’s been an experience and a half. If you’d asked me a year ago I’d have said no to being a distant lover, but here I am. I’m still as terrified as I am excited, but if this is my forever then I’ve won in life.
So yeah. 2014. Writing this has made me realise how wrong I was to refer to this year as two steps back. It’s been a hard year, but I’ve also been blessed.
My smile has ceased to be a mask. It’s become a sign of my determination to be happy, a mark of my ability to seek out and latch on to the tiniest glimmers of hope even when darkness envelopes me.
Maybe I should drop one of the songs from the EP as a single. Hmmm…
Lol. Now I’m writing out random thoughts.
I’ll stop now.
Olumide will always tell it like it is. This was so concise and honest I felt like I was there all through your 2014. Thanks for sharing and taking us along for the ride. Here’s to life, passion and love in 2015. Ahem! on the LDR. LOL