Day 30: Victor

2012: TheYear of The Walker

Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers. It may not be difficult to store up in the mind a vast quantity of face within a comparatively short time, but the ability to form judgments requires the severe discipline of hard work and the tempering heat of experience and maturity.
Calvin Coolidge

Like a lot of people I had a list of things I set out to accomplish at the beginning of the year. First on that list was getting my own place. I had grown accustomed to living alone between 2005 and 2009 spending only a couple of months with the folks each year only to move back to Lagos and lose my freedom. It was hard settling back in with the folks and by January 2012 I had gotten jaded. I needed my own space and privacy so when my friend offered me his apartment in January it felt like a godsend. I moved into my own apartment mid-January, happy to have a place I could finally call my own. January was also the month I officially started dating the most wonderful woman a guy could ever ask for (but we’ll get to that part later).

The last quarter of 2011 had been awesome for me work-wise. It was my break-out season in so many ways, it got me all hyped up for this year. I had a ton of expectations and plans; I started off brimming with enthusiasm and ready to go like a puppy on a Saturday morning. A few months and a couple of bad investments later I had blown away a chunk of my nest egg and I learned the hard way not to rush into things and plan properly before investing. Also learned that the law of diminishing marginal utility does not apply to Garri and beans; it can be enjoyed three times a day.

Looking back now I can boldly say that it was only through divine providence that I didn’t go broke and run back home with my tail between my legs. The fact that I was able to tough it out earned me a lot of respect from my folks and in some ways even improved our relationship.

It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually. M. Scott Peck

“We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.”
1st John 4.13-16

I had a few tough moments this year. I battled with a few personal demons, lost a few people close to me, pushed a few others away, struggled with celibacy and at one point I almost lost all faith in God. One thing I’m proud of is the fact that I had an awesome support system of friends and family that helped me through the lows. I learnt put my trust in God when I had absolutely nowhere else to turn to for strength.

I’m glad to say it paid off. I’m not a ‘better man’ per se, I just realised I don’t need to be when I’ve got the big man behind me. That alone has made my life a lot easier.

In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. Albert Schweitzer

I met a lot of awesome people this year but most importantly I became friends with a few who were already acquaintances. Two of them happen to be my current flatmates. The first one moved in with me in my one room apartment, shared in my victories, drank Garri with me during our dry season and was always quick to tell me harsh truths when I strayed. He’s a man of few words but I can always count on him for words of encouragement or reproach when needed. His honesty is one of his strong qualities and I am truly grateful to call him friend.

My second flatmate is another really remarkable person I was fortunate to get close to this year. He’s incredibly strong willed and independent and reminds me a lot of myself. We both have similar demons so it’s easy to relate with him on so many levels. He went through a lot this year and just watching him transform from just a regular dude to a devoted father in the space of months was one of the high points of my year. Gave me hope that I just might not do so badly when the time comes for me.

In August I joined forces with some fellow mad men and started a weekly podcast that’s all sorts of wild and silly ( Apart from the obvious joy I get from recording such madness. The pre and post-recording banter is absolutely phenomenal. I’ve come to realise how incredibly brilliant these guys are, after getting past how disturbing their thoughts are.

A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.
George Jean Nathan

I don’t know how it happened or why (my guess is that someone must have spiked cupid’s baby bottle with JD) but sometime in January an amazing woman decided to ignore my superabundance of flaws and become my girlfriend. It’s been almost a year now and I can’t believe I haven’t fucked it up yet. She’s become my best friend, my financial adviser, wing-woman, lover and confidant.

Don’t get me wrong, ours is not a Hollywood romance. We’ve had our fair share of fights, days when I wished I didn’t love her so much, days when I thought I lost her but through it all the love we share overcame our moments of stupidity (mostly my stupidity but hey we’re a couple we share these things…lol). Like a pair of well-worn denims she fits me perfectly. There’s no need for me to be anything other than myself with her, she accepts me completely. She makes me strive daily to be a better man and even when I act a fool she’s patient with me.
I love being with her regardless of where we are or what we’re doing.  Doesn’t matter if we’re taking walks through dodgy streets in Kpansia or watching football at a bar I just want to be with her.


I’m thankful that I have her in my life and even if we were to part today I would not regret the time I’ve spent with her. God willing we’ll only get better.


Check out the collaborative work Victor and his crazy friends do on the Ghen Ghen website here.

Thank you very much for sharing your Ghen Ghen year with us. That was how you concluded with romance and we are all here envying you, not even knowing who the babe is. It’s all good though.


I love to learn. I love to teach. For me the two are the same.


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