Day 28: Eloho

I was scared stiff of putting pen to paper and doing a review of 2014 but here I am.*Brings out shekere, shakes it vigorously, does a praise dance and shouts Hallelujah.*

 

I began 2014 positive and full of expectations but I was also nursing a couple of latent regrets. I am quite analytical you see so I marinate on an issue, go back and forth, pray, find my peace before I act. So admitting that I might have made a wrong decision regardless was a deep place for me and it hurt badly. Move on, no I didn’t, I organized a nice little pity party for myself and whoever showed up. Then in a way I have never ever seen it before, God took my regrets and melted them in Romans 8:28.

 

All (in all totality) things (the good, bad, ugly, deliberate choices, mistakes) work together (are somehow fitting into a plan, somehow when put together make sense) to all them who love God and are the called according to His purpose. (Emphasis Mine)

Then it was time to let go… and as I think about it today, one of the Disney soundtracks in Frozen comes to mind.

‘Let it go…let it go…
Can’t hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door…’

In 2014, I experienced the rare rewards of spontaneity.  Some of the best friendships I made this year and several opportunities are a few of such rewards. Not every time plan, plan, sometimes just live. Last minute detours and changes all paid off and even when they didn’t, just not being stuck in plans and processes was something I came to enjoy as evidence of being human vs. simply running a program. #HumanNotRobot

 

As per work, I made progress this year, first I need to hail my boss. God bless him. I learned to be more assertive and to handle tough conversations to balance my amiable side. I grew in between my ears, oh yes I did (GetAbstract book summaries were very helpful with my sustained business reading). I thrived amidst office politics, learned from a smart trainee with a horrible attitude who reminded me that ‘attitude beta pass sabi’ (Gratefully he’s since gotten better).  I enjoyed my first Private Jet experience. An investee client flew us in his PJ to inspect some of his projects in the MiddleBelt. From the lounge experience to the flight itself, I loved the life! I didn’t even know those private hangars existed. Mehn, it was such a cool experience.

 

In the past year, I suffered rejection on different levels. Romantically and all, this had to be my worst year yet as per the rejections. From nowhere and with no warning, I seemed to be losing people I cared about.  I checked myself till I almost created flaws to justify the rejections. Honestly, I tried to make things better as much as I could. I put my pride aside and kept asking.  Was it me? Something I did or said? Am I such a bad, undesirable or replaceable person that they could just move on without even caring how it hurt or missing me like I missed them? I experienced first-hand, lethal doses of ‘assumptionmycin’ and felt the real meaning of ‘when you assume, you make an ass of u and me’. But, last last, I put it down to seasons, some people belong in seasons and that’s all.

 

I broke several chains in 2014, procrastination for one (part reason I didn’t achieve all I set out to do). The way the chain fell off ehn? I met a lovely lady who was living my life, making the choices I didn’t make and she was a living example of what procrastination had cost me. Inspired by her, I found all the discipline I needed to wage a final battle.  Then I learned to say NO. When you are somewhat reliable, people tend to recommend you for all the ad hoc work that needs to be done which if you were me, you would gladly do anyway at some great unplanned sacrifice maybe.  I learnt to deliver myself by saying NO without guilt.

 

I told a lie one day, it didn’t start out as a lie but I misrepresented the facts nonetheless and it was to my benefit if they believed the lie to be true. As I walked out, I lost my peace. I had to go back to make it right and the implications were potentially dire. But my peace with God was not something I could negotiate away. God wasn’t having that quiet closet prayer of repentance or walking away from the benefit. I had to deal with that lie face to face. It was hard but it was worth it. I got my peace back right away and earned the recipients respect.

 

I learned to act immediately I felt led to. A few times I turned out to be ‘acting angel’ simply because I did what came to my heart. Then the random scriptures or tweets that spoke to exactly what I was going through. You never know how that random tweet or blogpost of yours just fits into someone’s scattered puzzle. I enjoyed virtual fellowships across the world via BBM’s and DM’s. LOL. God is amazing, He may not have come through in all the ways I wanted, but come through He did. God came through for my friends and family in amazing ways this year and I shed so many tears of joy. It’s such a blessing to have those you love celebrate. For me, amidst my ups and downs, as I rejoiced with them, I found courage to walk my sometimes lonely path as their victories served to remind me that God was in my neigbourhood.

The memory of the righteous is blessed,
But the name of the wicked will rot
” Proverbs 10:7 (NKJV)

In 2014, I mourned. Grandma Mo passed on Easter Sunday. I spent all of Saturday nursing and taking her, how could I have I known? I remember her quiet strength, her fight and the way she called my name. Miss you Grannie. Chai! ChazB passed on too. That shocked me, I won’t lie. Our last conversation still burns in my heart. I’m immensely grateful for 5 years of friendship. Was so hard to deal, still is. I miss you Chaz, Rest on!!!

 

Who can discern his lapses and errors? Clear me from hidden [and unconscious] faults. Psalm 19:12. AMP

2014 seems to have been a year of revelation for me. I saw many of my hidden and unconscious faults often amidst my pain. For instance, I didn’t realize how proud I could be until I had to deal with those rejections. I would never have thought myself as proud if God didn’t show me. Same way, several other flaws came to light and I had to address them. I learned to ask. Just speak out and give people an opportunity to come through for you. You may get a no, and even then you aren’t worse off but you may get a yes as well. I saw people bend over backwards to help. I learned to accept my peculiar journey, and said no to ‘normalcy’ and the need to conform.

“For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations.” Psalm 100:5 (NKJV)

Softly hums Frank Edwards ‘Oghene doh’. I’m grateful in more ways than words can say. For family…amazing people who just bear those burdens and trust God with me tirelessly each step of the way. ‘My girls’ who are embracing their teenage years and whose growth and wisdom amazes me. For my amazing friends who are counsellors, confidants, a moving daily dairy in one case, angels and then some, THANK YOU. I’m grateful for health…more than ever before I acknowledge the frailty of great dreams and plans without a healthy body and spirit. I’m grateful for my great grandma who doesn’t recognise me anymore but every visit with her leaves me with even more memories. For my grandma, parents, uncles and aunts and senior friends who by their lives inspire me to do and be. These relationships mean a whole lot to me, you guys are my blessing. I feel wealthy in relationships!!! I’m grateful for the timeliness of God’s help. Even I am in awe at how He always comes through even if He has to use a random taxi driver or a complete stranger to get a word in, He does.

 

You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop with my God I can scale a wall. Psalm 18:28 (NIV)

Truth is I am not the same person that started 2014. I can honestly say I was helped by God. It feels like my crucible of preparation. I have experienced God and enjoyed beautiful friendships.  Strangers turned family who extended to me such generosity and warmth that I am still amazed. I have bitten some bullets, taken some major risks and listened more to my spirit and heart above my head. I acknowledged my flaws and learnt life changing lessons. I feel like I have just the right foundation for 2015. My relationship with God grew…quietly and consistently. I am walking my path, feel like I am steadily doing what I was born to do or being prepared to be and do. I feel really blessed especially when I realize that God’s blessing is more about becoming a person of character amidst conflict than it is about getting stuff.

 

Miley Cyrus did a song, back when she was still the innocent looking ‘Hannah Montana’. She sang

 

The struggles I’m facing

The chances I’m taking

Sometimes might knock me down, but no I’m not breaking

I may not know it but, these are the moments I’m gonna remember, most yeah’

Just gonna keep goin’

And I, I gotta be strong

Just keep pushing on, ‘cause

 

There’s always gonna be another mountain

I’m always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose

Aint about how fast I get there

Aint about what’s waiting on the other side

It’s the climb

 

So for me, it’s about the CLIMB.

Let’s do 2015, a year to FLOURISH.

 

==============

Hi Eloho! You have become a member of the family this 2014. Much love. Thank you for sharing. Eloho writes here LINK.

Eloxie

I am a simple young woman and my life is a story of God's stupendous grace (www.stupendousgrace.com). I love God, I love life and I love people.

49 Comments

  • Zimzi says:

    Thank you dear Eloho for this beautiful piece! It spoke to my heart. God bless you!

  • Flint says:

    Madam ‘gift of gab’! If as wonderful as you are, you’re still improving, then what are we supposed to do?? Well written and I’m sure your legacy disappointments will be turned to joy over the next 12 months in Jesus name!

    • Eloho says:

      Ha ha ha, gab yes? Amen!!! Thank you for such beautifully kind words. We are all on a journey of continuous improvement… Big AMEN to your prayer. Gracias Muchos.

  • Tobi says:

    Eloho is definitely one of my favourite persons, although we haven’t related personally, I look up to you in a lot of ways ohh… God bless you and thanks for sharing! And thanks for tweeting about this blog.. The reviews have been amazing.

    • Eloho says:

      Oh my, thank you Tobi. I feel so humbled by your kind comment. God bless you. I’m glad the reviews have blessed you as they have me. (((Hugs)))

  • Batty says:

    Eloho is one of those people you know always have your back. God’s got your back for us sister. Have an awesome 2015 flying and owning PJs 🙂

    • Eloho says:

      Oh my, thank you Tobi. I feel so humbled by your kind comment. God bless you. I’m glad the reviews have blessed you as they have me. (((Hugs)))

    • Eloho says:

      Thank you dear B. You are a blessing. Thanks for walking through 2014 with me. God bless you. Wish you an awesome 2015 too. To your prayer, I say AMEN!!!

  • MartinOgbodo says:

    Eloho, you ‘re like one upon whom the muses have smiled. And you smile a lot too. Talking with you and reading your may work confirm an even more adorable state of mind. Sail on silver girl. I wish bigger ad better accomplishments in the years to come.

  • enajyte says:

    I remember some of these experiences. I never forget how human Eloho is because she’s always ready to share from her challenges and triumphs. Her love for God is like a beacon, ever bright. I’m grateful to God for her and I pray she flourishes beyond expectations.

    • Eloho says:

      AMEN! Thank you so much Jyte. Thanks for reminding me to thank Uncle Efe too for this opportunity. I know how much he encouraged me to just put it down. I wasn’t expecting to find so much good and I didn’t think it would do anybody much good to read my review.
      I’m grateful for you too Jyte, God bless you for being here. (((Hug)))

  • Ehjeerho says:

    Thank you for sharing. I too have suffered from assumptionmycin… but i’m learning to stop beating myself and just ask also.

    • Eloho says:

      You are welcome. Glad you are learning to ask…assumptions can be so wrong and hurtful. I wish my friends would have asked me instead of acting out of assumptions. Wishing you a lovely 2015. 🙂

  • Uju says:

    @Eloho, may the good Lord bless you. And perfect everything that concerns you.
    A greater 2015!

  • Debbie says:

    This is what I would call “Reality in your face”. Letting go of mistakes and hurt is very important and embracing God’s peace is golden.

  • Salt says:

    I honestly felt like you were right here beside me telling me all this…I love reading people who get you to feel that way. Take you sincerely into their hearts via their words. I always say Life is a boomerang. You get back what you throw out. You, Eloho have been a consistent source of encouragement and to think we have never met in living colour ( I had to actually stop and think about that. So I have never actually seen Eloho? It just does not feel that way at all! But we will fix that in 2015, right? Anyway, I am happy to read that you you got some of the love you threw my way back. The ‘bad’ experiences? I read recently that they don’t exist. You have good experiences and then you have learning experiences. Period. I agree. For and In all things we give thank because like you rightly said, they ALL work out for our good.

    And today, right now, I give thanks to my God for connecting our dots, you and I.

    • Eloho says:

      Salt! Salt!! Salt!!! How I love you!!!

      Thank you for everything you have been to me in 2014. That amazing ring of older friends that I can call at anytime has you positioned nicely. You have no idea how much wisdom I have gleaned from you. How do I even explain that I haven’t met you? Thanks for all the thoughtful surprises and the gifts. You showed me God’s love in more ways than you know. Thank you…and I agree with you, we have good experiences and learning experiences Period!

      God bless you Big Sis and I am more grateful to God for connecting our dots. Looking forward to meeting you in person in 2015 and to a new season too.

  • Inthe... says:

    Eloho, your nakedness is so refreshing. Here’s to the beauty of God’s grace in 2015.

  • Peace Itimi says:

    This blessed me more than you could have imagined….. Having a glimpse of your ups and downs this year has just filled me courage and reminded me that ‘that role model’ is human too (every once in awhile, we all need that dose of reality).
    The most beautiful part of your 2014 story was that in all the hurts and pain, you stuck with God and he saw through. That is d highlight.

    Ma! Your 2015 would blow your mind.

    • Eloho says:

      My dear Peace, I’m so glad it blessed you. Truth is we all have ups and downs and I am glad for an opportunity to share a few of mine. God’s presence in our lives doesn’t mean we don’t go through stuff, but like He was with Joseph in prison, He is with us.
      Thanks for your prayer dear. AMEN!!!

      God bless you.

  • chenemi says:

    I’m just seeing this. Such beautiful piece,just the motivation I need.God bless you.

  • Clarion says:

    It felt real good to read this. I’m glad that you have come out stronger and wiser. Those rejections? Forget them. God always has something better in store for His children.
    Love and hugs.

  • otas says:

    Eloho my sister, my friend, GOD will perfect all that concerns u in 2015 IJN, amen

  • Seun says:

    Keep the light shining big sis… 2015 will be even more fulfilling. Much love.

  • Eloho says:

    AMEN!!! Thanks dear. God bless you and yours in 2015.

  • HaroldWrites says:

    You sure had an amazing 2014, with all the highs and lows. A better 2015 awaits you with bountiful goodies

  • yeni says:

    Thanks Loxie for being an important part of 2014 for me. You blessed me in uncountable ways. Enforcer of life

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  • Sarah says:

    I am so blessed to have a friend like you Eloho. 2014 was like a roller coaster ride and you have been there every step of the way…. for this I am grateful. In 2015 I hope we get to do ALL the things we set out to do in 2014 that we didn’t do and maybe some more…

    • Eloho says:

      Definitely looking forward to doing a lot more.
      Thank you for everything too. You rock!!!
      God bless you for me and here’s to 2015…our ‘Do Something’ year.

  • Kingsley says:

    Well done sis. ..God is bound to take you to unimaginable places. *hugs*

  • Lizzieebunoluwa says:

    Eloho! Always, always a remarkable experience reading you..pithy, profound and perspicacious….Thank you for living and giving too. I haven’t forgotten your labor of love on my stubborn ondo head. How much more God? Bless your heart!

    Here’s praying you a 2015 characterized by progressively resplendent seasons and more importantly the inexplicable peace and joy that comes from living out His incredible will for you.
    Cheers!

  • Seun says:

    Such a wonderful and heartwarming piece. It shows that everyone goes through struggles and challenges In life but we should keep moving forward as we’re called to be overcomers. There is a purpose for everything and God perfects everything in His time. You clearly inspire and speak to a lot of people’s hearts. God bless you dear Eloho and keep on being who you are. …….

  • Mama Bonye says:

    I hope one day I can tell my 2014 story like u. Lovely piece. It’s so refreshing.

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