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The Redefinition of me

In many ways, 2016 is a little tough to theme. Well, it was a defining year for me. I grew up as an intelligent, confident child who was allowed to express herself. But as I grew older, thanks to how tall and skinny I was, I was noticed everywhere I went and I didn’t really enjoy the attention so I sorta morphed into a support person, something of a wall flower. I wanted to be behind the scenes, to help others shine and I would be really elated if the spot light was on anyone but me. For that reason, I turned down any suggestion or opportunity that remotely took me out of my comfort zone. Behind the scenes was comfortable, and I convinced myself it was what I was born to do because it was non- intrusive.  2016 seemed to be the year where the universe conspired to push me out.

I was pulled left, right and centre and thrown into uncomfortable roles and I chose to do it afraid. One of the minuses of the being a wallflower was that I got accustomed to wanting to fade away and be ‘normal’ and took for granted how special I really was. In 2016, I took my identity back. Yeah, I am all that, and more.

My confidence grew in quietness

It was a quiet year for me and I think it worried a lot of people.  I was quiet, not very willing to jump in and analyse a situation or offer counsel. I just sat back and watched. But in my quietness, I found such clarity and accuracy. That quiet helped me deal with failure (believe you me, I reached some new lows), delays and even challenges. You know how ideally, you turn off your ignition to refuel your car, 2016 felt like that for me. I was tired of telling people how I felt, and hearing all the eeya’s even from the most caring of them so I just focused on the audience of One. I know it worried my inner circle but I needed it for my sanity.

My perspective changed

I stopped asking God when? I started asking what? So today, what would you have me do? As I asked God what, I found out that He wanted me to live and I decided to live out loud. I was deliberate about doing things without explaining to nobody. I loved guarding my personal space. I planned trips and enjoyed myself. I gave with reckless abandon, and I learned to just be.

I met some more fantastic people

I met amazing people, everywhere, it felt like God positioned people to encourage me. Strangers were so kind to me, it was unbelievable somewhat. Best of all, I constantly I felt like I had a cloud of witnesses pushing me every day, through the tears and telling me to ‘Be More.’

I was loved by strangers and friends alike. There were times when I thought about something I’d like and probably just unlooked and next thing, I’d be gifted with it. Not once or twice even. I kid you not.

In summary

As I review the year, I am grateful for the quiet relentless support of my family and friends. Those that loved me enough not to question my quiet but reached out every now and again to say we are here.  Honestly, you guys are the best.

To the Downtown Isoko crew, y’all are the reason I even have an unserious side. I love you scatter. Thanks for all the ways that you love me to greatness. To my circle of  friends, THANK YOU!!! You don’t even wait for me to ask before you do. You are amazing. My boss and team at work, thank you for everything. You guys were so supportive and I’m grateful.

I may not have seen God’s finger, but I definitely saw His hand. God came through for me, in the ways I could not even have thought possible. My family has many things to be grateful for and even now the list is still growing. The year is ending and I realise I am a lot stronger than I knew I was. I am living my life like it’s golden and enjoying every single bit.

I achieved some milestones this year and feel proud to have seen them through. It’s not the story I would have written but God is the best scriptwriter and I am grateful for what He’s making of my life. Honestly, if I ever had any doubts that God had His eyes on me, 2016 cleared them all.

In 2017, #WeMove.

 

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