Day 20: Ized

Rock bottom.

I finally found the answers to the questions – “How bad can it get?” and “What’s the worst that can happen?”

You know what the definition of irony is though? He coming all the way from America to love me and then meeting and falling in love with another Americana here. Then they both go back leaving me confused and heartbroken.

Then he says “we can be friends and work together, I love you”

Huh??!

Irony is knowing that I gave it my everything but still I wasn’t good enough or woman enough.

So I’m left lost, hurt and dazed, head spinning like a revolving door at the airport, confused but never having the chance to stand still long enough to figure out why.

Irony is losing everything right after the biggest job in my career. No office. No cash, and having to start over from scratch.

Rock bottom.

Irony is me. My life. Irony is my 2016.

Irony mostly because I can be living through the worst days of my life and still go on like everything is right with the world.

I am – Captain ‘put up an act’,
Miss ‘Fake Happy till you be Happy’,
aka Zizi Forever Happy,
aka Ized Praise God through the storm.

If I were a super hero, my super powers would be “unlooking” Life. It is a fine art and I am the world’s leading expert.

This 2016 though!!! This was that year that tested ALL my alleged super powers!

The year where “How is your mum?” became the hardest question I have ever had to answer in my life.

What do you say? How do you answer? Fine?? She is not fine, She has cancer!

So I mumble something along the lines of “she’s alive” (and stop myself from adding – “but in bad pain, so much that we are using morphine to keep calm. Chemotherapy is a bitch, she’s losing her hair, and she is depressed”).

And then they say “Thank God”. Urghh!

I literally stopped taking my friends’ calls because I couldn’t deal with one more “How is your Mum?”

Ironically though, 2016 was the year I truly valued the question – “Ized, How are you?”

Early 2016 was bad to be honest, and when it was bad, it was really really bad.

But then, tides turned, I hit rockbottom and the only way out was up and so ALL the way UP I went.

I completed a Merger and Acquisition with a UK company.
Moved office to the Island. Gave up my “CEO” title for “Project Manager” yet earning more than I earned as CEO (who title epp?)
Running Digital Media for some of the biggest brands in Nigeria.
Consulting for the highest levels of government.
I entered the year 2016 with huge business and personal debts, I am leaving the year without a single Kobo owed. (and I didn’t even have to do MMM). Although CIC helped me a lot with incredible loans with low interest rates, I went to Northwood Plaza Drive CIC.

It’s also the year I probably had my best ideas, #ServiceSwap.co, Evolve.Press and EVAssist.com. Don’t worry, next year you will get familiar.

2016 taught me to forgive, let things go. Life will go on regardless.

2016 taught me Resilience, keeping your eyes on the goal even if you are your only cheerleader. One day, if you keep at it long enough, things will give.

It taught me that debts will cripple you, whether or not you got them for a great solid reason. If you can, never borrow.

It was the year that I got much more closer to God, because you can’t do Nigeria on your own. It will literally kill you.

It was the year I valued Family
– the very crazy (albeit very loving) one that I was born into
– the Extended family- Cousins, Aunts, Uncles (they came through for us this year. The support and love were beyond amazing).
– last and most especially the family that choose me – Olumide Ogungbemi, Ayodele Ogunde, Chinye Awunor, Tunde Olajide, Davis Ebenezer, Ayodeji Moshood, Ubi Kenae.

They taught me that giving up was not an option, and that family isn’t just blood – it is sweat and faith and trust. It was mostly because of your faith in me and in the dream that I kept going. We made it through yeah?

And to Papi, World’s greatest, Purpose driven 9-year-old. I love you.

I prayed for rough roads in 2016. (sigh). Not making that same mistake this year.

Our 2017 will be smooth. Very smooth.

Here’s to Conquerors and their Conquerings,
Here’s to Resilience and Long lasting Victory.
Here’s to Rest, Ease and a great 2017.

May ALL Our roads be smooth.

===================

*clinks glass* I salute your courage in going through this and penning this review.

Ized Uanikhehi

Ized is Papi's Mummy & a Grace Junkie. Resilience and 'Never-say-die' are her a.k.as Tour guide on the "Hell and Highwater" road, Digital Media Professional, by Day & Night. Find her as @zegbua on twitter/facebook/Instagram.

20 Comments

  • Joy E says:

    I was not expecting that last part, was already feeling bad! Then I saw

    “But then, tides turned, I hit rockbottom and the only way out was up and so ALL the way UP I went…” and went OMG, OMG, OMG as I read on! It was almost as good as an O.

    “I entered the year 2016 with huge business and personal debts, I am leaving the year without a single Kobo owed. (and I didn’t even have to do MMM).”

    I needed to read this, to be reminded that things can get really, really bad, and then the tides turn.

    I rejoice with you! Keeping your mum in prayer from today.

  • Samuel Okoroafor says:

    Ized, this was fantastically written.

    Very few posts have resonated this well with my experience in 2016. Rock bottom twice! Now I’ve forgotten what the bottom feels like as the year ends.

    Best experiences and worst experiences mixed in the same year.

    Sigh.

    It’s almost over now.

    Cheers to an amazing 2017.

  • Really, 2016 has not been easy but we still going through it like superheroes. I’m glad we got through all the challenges together with the rest of the team. Thank you for taking us as part of that family, here’s to a better 2017 *raises glass*

  • Jvmoke says:

    This must have been difficult to recall.
    Thank you for sharing, thank you for not giving up.
    Im glad your persistence paid off!!

    May mum’s pain be eased and bills easier to pay.

  • Jvmoke says:

    This must have been difficult to recall.
    Thank you for sharing and thank you for not giving up.
    The persistence paid off!!!

    May mum’s pain be eased and may the bills be easier to pay too.

  • Tolz says:

    If there is one person who gave me the zeal I needed on Twitter in 2016 it was you… I watched you complain but stay strong, I watched you go low and then high again… I also knew you avoided calls because I’ll have asked ” How is mumsie”?… I’ve learnt so much from you & I like the fact that you are YOU…. Same person online & offline, super woman, you know some of the compliments I get today is because of you… I watched you give every thing you touched your ALL… Shall I go on? You will find love because you’re a beautiful person & joy & peace & wealth & in 2017 you will excel…
    Thanks for being you Ized…..

    • Ized says:

      If you were trying to make me cry Tolu love, you succeeded.

      I am sorry I dodged your calls and text went unreplied when you were asking about my mom.
      I will do better next year, be a better friend.

      I love you, You know ba?
      2017 is our year.
      God bless you.

  • Irose says:

    It isn’t over until it is over and it ain’t over till we win! Nice piece

  • Tope Aigba says:

    Hmmmmm! You are indeed one strong lady. Imagine you had all these on you but still made time out to listen to me? Thank you for being awesomely awesome.

    God will perfect that which concerns Mum’s health and give you all reasons to celebrate.

    I love you Ized.

  • Ekwealor Victor says:

    WOW! This is plenty, thank God for grace.

  • Ofure says:

    Words fail me at this point. I Love you Ized.

  • ama says:

    Hi Ized, I thought I had a bad year till I read your story. I haven’t found my way up yet but maybe that’s because I haven’t reached rock bottom.
    I hope you get the things you pray for in 2017 and that your mom’s surgery went well or goes well if it hasn’t happened yet.
    Thank you for sharing.

  • Uche Briggs says:

    Well done Ized. May God perfect this great work he’s started.

  • Dearest Ized, thanks for sharing this.
    I can only imagine how tough it was to recall and put words to all that you shared. I think you are amazing and it shines through everything you do. I had my mouth open when I thought about all you went through and how I was rarely there for you and how you kept jokingly referring to it. Now, i wish i was there more.
    First, i celebrate the gem that you are and the progress of the year. See how far you’ve come girl. I am thankful for how the adversities of 2016 only made you stronger (even though you may not see it). I’m extremely proud of you and from my heart to yours, I’m sending love and light. One of the scriptures that held me up was Micah 1:3b, the Lord has his way in the whirlwind and the storm.’ I see that’s what 2016 appears to have been, kinda whirlwinds and storms and more lows than highs, but be encouraged that God is not unaware and He’s having His way regardless.
    Sending a prayer out for mum and her chemo treatments. This too shall pass. AMEN.
    I looooove you and I will try and be more available in 2017. We gotta fix this you know? Besides, I know more than anything that God’s got you.
    Keep shinning girl, looking forward to a 2017 of triumphs that leave your mouth open saying ‘na me be dis?’

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