Let me start by thanking Uncle Efe for giving us the platform to share our stories and directly or indirectly motivate and inspire other people through our words. I have learnt and am still learning from the stories that have been posted so far.
So 2014! 2014 has been very good to me and in all honesty I must say it’s been a great, great year; I mean I’m alive, all my loved ones are alive and well, I cannot say I lack anything and I am happy. In the midst of trials and tribulations, I can smile and say I am happy. I have unconsciously blocked out the sad, painful memories I have and now focus solely on all the happy moments.
The year started with me having to go and resume service to my father land in a town I had never been to and knew not a soul. I was totally unprepared for what life had in store for me there and didn’t even know what to expect but I was eager to start a new way of life. I had accommodation issues and after I was thrown out from where I had been staying with someone for about a month, I started to shuffle about looking for a place to stay till I finally moved into my own apartment in March (after plenty stress, wahala and frustration). I remember vividly the day I was asked to leave where I had been staying; I wept sad tears while on a bike to work wondering why I would be treated so harshly just because I was at someone’s mercy. I wept for my cozy room in my father’s house in Lagos and how I never even thought I would lack food to eat; I wept that day but I cleaned my tears and raised my head high, I refused to be frustrated. That experience taught me that no one is obliged to do anything for you. Little me who had never had to be at the mercy of anyone under such conditions had to learn that not everyone in this world is kindhearted, thoughtful and compassionate; some people just do not give a shit about anyone. It’s simply how the world is.
But in a town where I initially knew no one when I first got there, God provided a lovely family who took me into their home, fed me and treated me like I was a close relative. On and on the year went, me taking each day as it came and working my ass off for who I choose to call very ungrateful people. I discovered God in a whole different way from what I was used to. Right from childhood, we never missed church every Sunday and it had basically become routine to me and I had never quite embraced my spirituality but then in this strange place, I found God in a whole different way and it was so exciting. You see, I know that I was divinely led to this place because from the very beginning, God raised help for me and ordered my daily footsteps and caused me to meet people who I can say changed my life. I fully realized the power of the gift I have been blessed with, the potential I have, I embraced it and started using it much more this year.
I realised I was blessed with a huge family with friends who became brothers and sisters; a great part of the year was spent with these people, we had awesome moments together and I have wonderful memories to show for it. My outlook on life started changing and today how I see the world is completely different from how I saw it last year. I learnt to understand people more and had to learn how to cope and deal with different people with different personalities, from different backgrounds. Now I am more patient, more understanding, more caring, more persevering, less selfish and much wiser.
This year I fully realized how truly transient and fickle life is. A traumatizing event saw me witness a once living, breathing being become a corpse under very sad circumstances. This person wasn’t close to me but his death touched me so much. It was so close and I can never forget the memory of seeing his body being carried from his room, laid on the bare ground and then deposited in the back of a pick-up truck like it was trash. That sole incident taught me that this life is vanity! Appreciate your loved ones and what you have now because no one knows tomorrow. We strive and strive and aspire and work hard and then one day in the twinkling of an eye it’s all over and life moves on without you. Live life to the fullest, enjoy each day as it comes, make an impact and above all live for God; only then can our lives have true meaning.
This year I can say was the year of discovering my sense of self, sense of being. I grew in knowledge, wisdom and stature. I am learning to evolve on my own and at my own pace and not compare myself and my achievements to other people. I have let go of a lot of self restraints and embraced self liberation; it’s hard but I am learning to do my own thing regardless of people’s opinions and thoughts. I still struggle daily with the feeling of inadequacy and not accomplishing what I would truly want to do but thank God for friends who encourage and motivate me to keep keeping on. Sometimes, a lot of times actually, I feel sad that time is slowly passing me by and my life is moving too fast while I’m nowhere close to where I would like to be but then I try to focus on the positive aspects of my life. I learnt a new skill this year (I still want to learn more, if you know how to make fascinators and other bridal crafts or know someone who does, get at me please, I want to learn) and am on my way to start my own small business; this gives me a little sense of accomplishment. I struggled with sin so many times but what would I be without a God that is so faithful and merciful and full of grace? Where would I be? I’m grateful o Lord.
Living away from my parents made me much more independent and I had to make some very important decisions on my own this year as well as take responsibility for my actions and decisions. Convincing my mother that I am not ready to go and start my masters in January after all the application stress and expenses and after I have been granted admission was not easy. We have fought and fought and of course she doesn’t understand. I’m not sure I do too but all I know is that I am not ready and I feel completely at peace with my decision. For the first time, I was able to stand my ground to my parents on this and other decisions (my mother mostly) and they finally realized that I am no longer a child who they have to pet and crimp and smother which made me very happy but probably made them sad lol. We still have our issues and it’s still a struggle but we’re getting there slowly.
I am growing to realize that I should do things I want to do for me and at my own time rather than try to please people and do things that would make me unhappy in the end.
The latter part of the year though has me full of confusion and uncertainty as to what career path to go in life. So many thoughts run through my head and I ask myself questions daily. I’m scared of making the wrong decisions and I’ve seriously been praying for God’s peace concerning all these decisions. I sincerely hope and pray that next year will lead me in the right path and see me doing all the many things I want to do.
In all it was a great year and I sincerely hope 2015 has loads of joy, laughter, peace and love to offer each and every one of us. In all situations no matter how hard, give thanks, smile and try to be happy; God’s got you. Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in advance 😀
Thank you for thanking me Yewande. Thank you even more for sharing. Just imagine how I must feel after reading all these reviews. I am the most grateful!! Decisions decisions decisions!!! Regret regret regret!!! Fear fear fear!!! Take your steps carefully and with your conscience in tow and hopefully your life becomes a series of lessons both to you and to others, just as we have seen your 2014 become 🙂