DAY 14: TIFE

This year was meant to change it all…

 

Okay a quick flashback to 2011, which was where it all started.

 

I’ve never had any problems with failure, in any aspect of my life. I won’t say it came easy. I wasn’t top of my class, but I was up there.

 

The way you handle your first failure goes a long way, and I didn’t handle mine right. Funniest thing was, I was expecting the University to advise me to withdraw. But when it happened, something flipped. I didn’t understand how that happened. I failed of course, but it was still shocking. I never fail.

 

But I took it in stride, or so I thought. I can still remember the way my mum flung herself to the ground in tears, wailing at me. I can still remember my friends consoling me, as I wept. I still remember like it wasn’t the first Friday of February (my birth month) of 2011. But I had life, I have life and parents who went to bat for me immediately.

 

They got me new JAMB forms and all that. I decided to change my major from engineering to economics. Two years later, I still wasn’t getting admission. I was not failing you see, I was passing every exams I took, but that admission letter wasn’t forthcoming. More failure to deal with my already battered confidence. I would question God, sometimes I still do. I still don’t understand what happened.

 

Failure took away my optimism. My confidence. My happiness. And I’m still looking for all this.

 

I know it’s a 2015 review.

 

*fast forward to 2014/15*

 

So, in 2014, after another rejection, I was advised by a lecturer to go back to engineering and try from that angle. I was open to trying, so I enrolled for A levels. I was always in class, my parents got all the expensive books, paid the expensive fees (God bless them for me). I wasn’t going putting all my faith in the A levels, so I got JAMB on the side, as a plan B that’d never be used.

 

January came and A level exams in May were just around the corner. I read fire. I prayed fire. I prayed so hard and read so hard and I was confident that the A levels would work out. That wasn’t the case. Another failure,, you see. How was I to face my pops, or my mom, for that matter? My mom was comforting, my dad went ballistic.

 

I still don’t understand what went wrong in 2011 and in the first half of 2015.

 

My mum was like, dark forces were at work, and yes, they were. Can you fathom your grandma causing you problems? Mehn.

 

But that God that lives today, tomorrow and forever was just chilling and looking at everything.

 

It turned out that backup plan that wasn’t to be utilized gave me the joy I now ride on. I was finally offered admission to study Electrical/Electronics Engineering. Everybody was happy for me, even my day one friends who don’t keep in touch, my brother who acts aloof, my sister in a world of her own and my kid brother in the cocoon of naivety. Everyone was happy, I was happy.

 

Unfortunately, the school was not putting up the list up on their website. My mom was telling me to check everyday. Even after showing her the admission letter on the JAMB website and printing it, She was still scared something could go wrong. I was scared something would go wrong, but I was hoping and I just kept faith.

 

A few days ago, the university put the list up on their website. And when I showed my mum, the immense joy on her face…. she rolled on the floor giving praise to God. I was so happy, and not happy at the same time. If only 2011 didn’t happen, if only A levels didn’t happen.

 

I have this problem with moving on and it is because I’m yet to understand. I don’t think I want to.

 

I just wonder why God decided to show up for me, the unworthy. He’s so mighty. I cannot fathom His existence, but he returned to me that which I thought was lost.

 

Honestly, if this year had been another one full of failure, I could have summoned the courage to say a final goodbye. I would have stopped trying to get back to school, I would have stopped trying to live.

 

A part of me died in 2011. It is going to take a while to build it back up, but I’m almost there and God had His very big hand in it.

 

This year I also started a sport news website Sportsblip.net, I hope to God it becomes big.

 

All in all, despite the many downs and tumbles, I’m getting back on my feet, and I can say 2015 is a good year.

=================

When I saw the name Tife I couldn’t be sure it was the same Tife of Sports Blip. Then at the end I felt the goosebumps. I have a story for you to read Tife. LINK

Ladies and gents, testify in this comments box. What big thing did God finally roll away from your life this year!?

Tife Olajuwon

is a blogger, writer, avid book reader and a sports enthusiast. He sometimes thinks he has a funny bone.

12 Comments

  • Pelumzee says:

    Mehn! I am writing this comment and thinking of the right words to use. Is it resilience abi what should I call it? Can’t imagine the blows the years of trying and failing has dealt you but may the Lord recover for you the years that the locust and the canker-worm have destroyed!

  • Tomi says:

    Tife, trying to think it all out, and figuring out the why’s is always an effort in futility. However, one thing is certain, He who began a good work will be Faithful to the end. Happy 2016.

  • Dolapo says:

    I’m happy for you Tife. May God see you through and crown your efforts with success.
    My testimony: I thought I wouldn’t be able to graduate this year. I never failed a course. Ever. But I kept having mistakes come up,concerning the computing of my results. Had to write letters for Fs to be changed to the original As and Bs which had been wrongly recorded. At one point,they told me it’d take a year to rectify. I was in my final year,I didn’t have any extra year to give unilag. But thank God who is so kind and gracious to undeserving me. Come February 2016,I will be inducted as a pharmacist. Thank God.

  • Lade says:

    One of the pertinent ministries we often overlook is the ministry of encouragement. And for one to really encourage and emphatize, most times one would have had to pass through same scenarios or worse.
    Relax, you are not a failure. Life happens. Where God is taking you isn’t dependent on your grade/failure/certificate/course of study. Hold on, be strong, you are not a failure.

  • Lade Tawak says:

    I totally get this struggle with failing. I can sort of relate to your story. I was home for almost two years and it was very depressing. But, God always comes through. He always shows up and he is always there.
    It’s easy to think that failing at something means you’re a failure. But, with time, I’ve learnt that failing doesn’t make you a failure. It just means that you’ve failed at one thing and you have the opportunity to succeed.

  • Beccah says:

    I had tears reading this…….God is indeed perfect with a perfect timing

  • Clarion says:

    What the 2 Lades’ said! Failing doesn’t make you a failure… it’s just a step along the way. Cheers to a better 2016

  • Sharon says:

    Hi Tife. I finished secondary school in 2008 at 14. Passed all my exams, always passed, but I didn’t get admission till my fourth jamb. My dad told me I was a failure because I got one c4 in my waec, The rest were As and Bs, so you can imagine how easy those three years were. We get angry and we pour it out on God, asking Him why he didn’t step in our situation and answer us when we wanted it, but don’t forget that we don’t know what will happen, He does. The possibilities are endless. If I had entered school when I finished, I’d have been a hot mess by now, most likely irreparably. Do me a favour, when you read this, Thank God for those for years you feel were wasted. Thank Him sincerely and ask for the strength to let it go. To let it all go. I know how you feel because my brother’s situation is slightly similar. He was in final year when I was in year 1. He still hasn’t cleared. Not because he’s not smart, he’s fiercely intelligent, but a lecturer decided to fail him in a second semester course consecutively for years. This new semester will be his eighth year. His G.P. will be divided by 8. He should have graduated. He has been stuck in horrible limbo for these past few years. All I’m trying to say is, if you focus so much on a situation that can’t be changed because it’s in the past, you will most likely poison your future. Please don’t do it. Please. Ask God to show you the lesson to take away from that experience and he will. Tell Him the grades you want now that you’re back in school and he will honour your request. You can’t live 2016 properly if you’re stuck in 2011. Shalom.

    • uju says:

      You’re an awesome person Sharon. I just want you to know that.
      Tife, it is well. Joel 2:25-I will restore to you the years that the locusts have eaten….
      It is well. I hope you get to a place where you can say it for yourself. Cyber hugs

  • eloxie says:

    Hey Tife, trust that God is the captain of your ship and let go of the 2011-2015 gap. It’s really tough but it’s a conscious choice you need to make. Like I always say. ‘When God gives you a momentum shift, the dust you’ll leave in your wake will eclipse your last known location.’ That’s His specialty. I encourage you to begin a journey of TRUST. As long as God is with you, even at the very worst (like Joseph in prison), He will prosper you. Your delays don’t define you.

    Give yourself a chance to start afresh and trust God for help. Keep following Him and He will ‘make’ you.

    Have a fantastic 2016!

  • Tomi says:

    I wish you strength as you take on this new journey. On the days when the years spent at home come laughing at you, trying to drown you in regret and sorrow, I hope you are comforted by love,friends, family and your belief that God’s got you. It’s a cliche, but years from now, this failure will be a part of your success story.

    God bless!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: