“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.” ~ Randy Pausch
Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me… I am too excited, it is unreal. *cue birthday music*
2014 didn’t exactly start out as one of my finest years if I am being totally honest, but over the course of the year I learnt something awesome, God’s got this. Now if only I had realized that earlier, I might have had a smoother year.
Let me explain, take a drama queen and multiply her unnecessary tantrums by say 10, looking back at the beginning of the year this was me. Sure, things weren’t going exactly how I had carefully planned they would. I felt I was making no major headway in any aspect of my life: physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, the whole nine yards! Traumatic, right? I know! But did I have to lock myself in and shut everyone else out? Yes. And No.
Yes because all the times I was alone by myself I had time to reflect on choices I had made, fights I had fought, things I had said and feelings I had felt. No because I had this lock-myself-in-shut-everyone-out episodes at least five times this year. It was a rollercoaster. Through it all, I forgot the most important things: God, Family and Friends. I failed to see how I was hurting them by hurting myself. I was selfish. This one time, I didn’t talk to my parents for two weeks because I was “sad” *sigh*, and we were under the same roof. I don’t know how I managed to pull that off and I am not proud of that at all, but thank God for forgiveness and my parents not giving up on me.
Did I have good times through all this? Of course it wasn’t all gloom and dark clouds. But things took a really huge turn for the better in October, late I know but the timing couldn’t be better. At October the year is almost over but you see the year was only just beginning for me. As a December baby, I start a new year literally with the New Year. In hindsight, the timing was perfect but there were times I cried (I tend to cry, a lot, especially when I am angry) and asked for relief. But I forgot to ask the Right Person.
In October, I decided okay I can’t do this by myself and decided to ask for help and I’m sure God was like “Well it is about time sweetie”. Believe me even after that I have made mistakes but His Grace is sufficient, no?
It is December 10, and I have ticked 3 out of the 4 things I wanted this year. Fingers crossed for the 4th? You betcha. So I’m raising my glass (of water maybe because fitfam) to a new year. I’m excited, still working on the Spiritual (need to learn to let God) and Emotional (because not every time logical and books, sometimes cuddles and TV) aspect of my life. Everything is a work in progress as one can only strive to be better but these two take center stage.
In 2014, I’m grateful for my parents, my sisters (special “shalla” to Priscilla for having my back this year), friends who have become family, Eze, Chioma, Leslie, Ify and Zee, I don’t know what I would done this year without you all.
Here’s to 2015, not just as the beginning of a new year or the end of the previous year, but as a continuation of our journey, a glimpse of where we are going, with memories of where we are coming from. To try to do things right, to love unconditionally, to laugh often, to live to the fullest and to get out of our comfort zones and take chances. I hope 2015 is everything you hope for and more. May we never have a better last year.
*buries face in birthday cake*
Happy birthday girl! May we never have a better last year. Deep. Thank you!