(I PRAISE THE GOD THAT DOES NOT FAIL)
“I’ll make up for the years of the locust,
the great locust devastation—
You’ll have your fill of the good life.
You’ll be full of praises to your God.
The God who has set you back on your heels in wonder.
Never again will my people be despised.
You’ll know without question
that I’m in the thick of life with MoyinOluwa”
(The Message translation paraphrased and emphasized by me)
There’s something incredibly awe-inspiring, exciting, amazing and at the same time really humbling about realising that it’s here, the life you dreamed of, the one that seemed like just a distant possibility is finally at your doorstep and you, yes you get the chance to live it and all the people around you are also living their own versions of their dreams.
“Yes indeed, it won’t be long now.” God’s Decree.
“Things are going to happen so fast your head will swim, one thing fast on the heels of the other. You won’t be able to keep up. Everything will be happening at once—and everywhere you look, blessings! Blessings like wine pouring off the mountains and hills. I’ll make everything right again for my people”
Amos 9:13-15 (The Message)
2014 was the year when everything fell into place. Everything I wrote about in Toxic’s 30 Days of Hope for this year came to pass bar one (and we still have 30 days to go). Looking back now, I can hardly believe how much has happened in this one singular year, how far my life has come in the span of this year. Reading through my reviews for 2011, 2012 and 2013 have humbled me INCREDIBLY.
If someone had told me in January that I’ll be where I am now, I would probably have slapped the bullshit out of them.
So what happened? What changed?
The simple answer is: everything and nothing.
Let me explain:
I really am happy about the place I am in my life right now. 2014 is the first year that I can say that I never seriously thought about killing myself so I am recovering, healing and becoming better.
“You are like a quiet storm, you get the job done. You feel no need to step on any toes while getting the job done and I respect you for that”
My former boss to me
I am proud of the woman I am becoming. This self-assured, confident, strong person that seemed to spring out of all the mess that was there. This person who my students say they want to be like. This person who moves ahead in spite of her fears. This person is almost unrecognisable to me, but I like her and I’m keeping her.
I finally am on a career path I feel I was called to. It’s interesting how you don’t know that you’re doing the wrong thing until you start doing something else and it just feels right. I have gone from a job that I loved but was very hard to another one that is something I’ve always subconsciously always wanted to do.
I am happy.
I am happy.
I am happy.
Few people will understand how significant saying this out is for me. But I guess if there was something significant that happened this year, it’s that I learned to laugh again, to smile from my heart, to take pictures of my chubby cheeks and not delete them, to bask in myself, to appreciate the living entity that I am.
I have a lot of sad memories but the one I would definitely define as rock bottom is walking up to a shop and trading my iPad in for money because I could not think of where my next meal would come from and I was in a foreign land. I remember how much I cried on that day, I remember the guy asking me if I was sure. That was two years ago. Now I smile when I remember that day and all the other times I slept through the day because there was no food to eat. I smile because those days are now a thing of the past.
“Everything good will come”
I remember having conversations with several of my friends and talking about how the good times are here. Everything just seems to be working out for everyone around me this year – friends and family: National honours, engagements, weddings (there’s nothing as amazing as watching two of your fiends getting hitched), babies, new jobs, promotions, books, endorsements, new relationships and many more things. Damn!
It’s not to say that everything has been smooth this year. On the contrary, it’s been a year filled with a lot of lows.
I had to move again this year. And it was an incredibly hard thing to do. Leaving behind my family, friends, colleagues and especially kids who had grown to be more friends than students to me affected me a lot.
I am still single (and I can’t say I’ve been working hard at changing it really) and being away from my family and friends has made it very obvious that I need someone in my corner (yeah I know I have God but physical cuddles actually sound really nice)
“God is our refuge and strength, a tested help in times of trouble”.
Psalm 46:1 (The Living Bible)
I applied for a visa but due to a mistake got turned back. I was extremely disappointed and heartbroken (as you can imagine). The next appointment I got, as I was in the cab on my way there, the cab driver said “aunty are you a Christian?” I said yes and he relayed a message to me from God which could only have been from God because they were basically things I had never said out loud to anyone, not even my mum. That single event stamped in my mind that God is mindful of me and He’s in control.
“These are the chiefs of David’s Mighty Men, the ones who linked arms with him as he took up his kingship, with all Israel joining in, helping him become king”
-1 Chronicles 11:10 (The Message)
I always talk about the gift of friends so I definitely cannot complete this without a special word to my blood: Kovie, Gbemi and Tobi for praying for me and encouraging me, Toxic, Bule, Qama for the weekends, pushing and encouraging me, Wole for being constant, Moyin, Ibukun, Pemi, Sabirah for the laughter, my CBA babies (because I know you guys eventually find everything) for accepting and loving me and my family for more than everything.
“There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish”
Philippians 1:6 (The Message)
And to my creator, my friend, my father, the one who sees the depths of my heart and loves me like I was the one who died for him. Thanks for seeing me in 2011, 2012 and 2013 through the angst, confusion and pain and just smiling because there was a plan.
Ese ibi ti e ba de
Ese ibi ti e n mu mi lo
I love you forever!
For the past 3 editions of the yearly review, Moyin has opened the floor for us. Probably always will. Stepping up to the plate that first time was an act of bravery I will never forget. We will never forget. Thank you for sharing and thank you again and again. Yes, I agree. Cuddles are really really nice. See you on that subject this time next year 😉
This evening we will keep the momentum rolling with Etana in her debut in this series. Yes, come back at 5 pm, but do subscribe by dropping your email in the box right up there. Strap in for the ride guys and girls. From what I see, it’s going to be one unlike anything you’ve read. As usual.