The year 2018 has been like airing out a musty room and throwing out all the trash and weird stuff that has accumulated in it. 2018 has been about removing the log in my eye so that I can see that The Lord’s hand is in everything, even at times when it seems like He’s hanging me out to dry.
“Weeping may endure for the night…”
At the beginning of the year, I was at rock bottom, and had been there since 2015 when everything in my life fell apart. I barely had any expectations for the year 2018, but I picked up the shards of my shattered optimism and fashioned them into a sub-par looking glass with which I conjured up an image of the year I wanted to have.
I turned 23 in January, and I spent my day focusing on all the things I did not yet have instead of being thankful for my life, and the things I did have.
I cried away the days of February, March and April. I had to start school all over again after a two year delay in a new city, doing a course I wasn’t even sure I wanted to do. I hated every minute of every day in those months, and every day I used to throw myself at God’s feet and beg Him to change my situation. I felt so hopeless and powerless.
“…but joy cometh in the morning.”
God heard my cry, and He answered me, but not in the way I was expecting. He sent me someone special, who in turn introduced me to special people who have become my family. It was a whole new world, filled with young people walking in love and on fire for God in every way. MINE Teenage Ministry, Calabar, this one’s for you.
“The path of the righteous is as a shining light that shines ever brighter until the full light of day.”
From May until now, I have seen myself unfurl like the petals of a rose. I am growing into myself every day. The city I emphatically hated because I thought it was taking me away from my plans for myself has become my favorite city. The course I wasn’t sure I liked, I love now. I’m so excited for the rest of my life. I even started a business!
This process of becoming hasn’t always been a cake walk. I’ve had days when all I want to do is curl in a cocoon and watch the world pass me by. I’ve had times where I had to unlearn certain things before I could move forward. It has been equal parts amazing and frustrating, but through it all, I’ve had love on my side. Love from God, from family and friends, and the constant, unwavering love of my best friend.
2018 is the beginning of my story, and to all the characters in this story; thank you. Thank you for being in my corner. I love you so so much.
Here’s to happy beginnings in 2018 and cheers to an even better 2019!