2017 for me, is one of those years that started on a meh note, January 1st was my birthday and there wasn’t anything to celebrate. Over the years I have always been single on my birthday, and this year wasn’t any different, so it was just a boring day with no gift from anyone and I slept through it.
January started in earnest and I was shuttling two jobs, I started a facility management company called THELMACLEANS in 2016 and it was just beginning to find its feet, but I felt I wasn’t giving it the attention it needed.
2017 was one of the years that broke me the most, it’s what I will call the best worse year of my entire life, the first quarter saw my mom almost paralyzed from an accident she had years before which led to severe osteoarthritis, we spent weeks at physiotherapy and it was draining.
While all was going on, I resigned from my day job to focus on my business, this was leap I had to take but was scared to death, I had a million reason not leave then, but I knew if I didn’t that decision then, I won’t be able to do so for a long time.
2017 although a trying year, had me falling in love, that was probably the best parts of the year, I was literally floating, I had supporting partner, everything was so perfect , I daresay I felt ‘stable’ for the first time in my life and then it hit the rocks after 3 months, it was a blow I struggled to recover from, I went through bouts of depression, I practically shut down on every social media, I kept blaming myself, felt ashamed that I couldn’t even keep a relationship, I locked everyone out except for two friends who took it upon themselves to see that I moved on In life. Few weeks later, I threw myself into work and one day while on site I had a miscarriage.
It was harder than the breakup, because I didn’t even know I was pregnant, the guilt was heavy, I was torn and this time the depression came back like tons of brick, all though this my mom’s health became a major issue, my business was nothing to write about, and for the first in my life, I contemplated suicide. I was tired, I was tired of it all and I just couldn’t see myself crawling out of that darkness. I would spend days not leaving my room, all I did was sleep and read novels, I felt like a complete failure.
Books, books helped, I found strength in them and I began picking the pieces of my life and boom my mom was back in the hospital again, I had debts, I was working twice as hard and one day a got a supply job that was well into millions, I felt relieved , someone is finally listening to my tears, I’m no longer being punished, on the day I was to receive the payment and start the supply, the engineer on site made a request from me, I’m to sleep with him, there and then with no other option, no amount of cajoling worked that day, right in my presence he called another supplier, told her and his request was immediately met with a yes. It sent me reeling, the sense of entitlement to my body, I was offering a service, not prostituting, I was enraged, I took to twitter and vented that I was becoming tired of everyone asking to sleep with me before giving jobs even those as low as ₦35,000.
Looking back, 2017 wasn’t all tears, even though majority of it was, I had some highs. THELMACLEANS became a year old and we are still standing, growing through the process. No matter how many times we took blows like one of our staff being involved in an accident while on his way to a client house, the surgery was successful, it took a major toll on our finances and plans but we came out of it. It was also the year I wrote a book, and I’m very excited as It will be released officially in 2018. In 2017, I learnt that true friends they never leave, as they were there to pull me up several times.
Despite all that had happened I’m actually looking forward to 2018 with excitement, I realize life will always throw blows at you, try to break you but it’s up to you to ‘keep walking’. It’s my birthday in few hours and this time I will celebrate myself, I will smile and be happy.
And so I will leave everyone with this Word as it was what saw me through the year
Isaiah 41 vs 10 ‘Fear thou not; I am with thee; be not dismayed; for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with right hand of my righteousness.
And so happy new year everyone!!!!!!! Make the most of 2018 no matter how hard, find your happy place and happy 25th to me.