2017 was the year of owning. I completely, absolutely, without one atom of doubt OWNED myself. Who I am, who I am becoming. ALL OF THAT. I owned the darkest parts of me, the brightest, and the not-so-savoury. I was basically moving between the ‘yah, that’s me, thank you very much’, or ’smh, yah, that’s still me sigh’. You know the best part, it was lovely. It was tough, but it was amazing. I am a woman totally IN LOVE with herself. Who she is, who she hopes to be. If I did nothing at all in 2017, I did that.
2017 was also the year of seeing myself through people’s lenses, and me saying ‘I didn’t mean it that way!” or “wow I didn’t think he would take that seriously’ or ‘oh shit, not again’. See, at the beginning of the year, I knew God was going to do a lot of panel-beating on me, I just did not think it would last the entire year. I remember messaging my best friend like ’God is working on me but it’s soo uncomfortable’. That is exactly what it was. I was constantly either getting fried, or explaining, or defending. It was SO tiring. I felt so drained at some points. I was almost like God wetin happen na? haba? Na only me you see? I found out things. About people. Family. Friends. Truths I was unable to see or accept or both. It wasn’t pretty. But it was worth it really. I think.
I realized a truth after plenty struggling, some people really hate dislike you. As in, they just don’t like your look, or swag or person. Then some people actually like you and wish the best for you . Then some people simply do not give a flying coin about you. Like they do not even think about you. The catch though? All three classes of people can (and probably will) be used when God is working on you. The key though, is to focus on the message, not the bearer. I tried o, I can’t lie. Motunrayo tried. Also, people are fickle. They will promise to come through for you but they won’t. They won’t explain or apologize for that either. And some people (read: friends) will not understand what you’re about. Why you’re doing the things you do, why you’re pushing, driven. So they cannot support you. The mind cannot support what the mind cannot conceive. Abi?
2017 was also the year of adulting. In my entire 25 plus years of existence, I have never been as broke as I was in 2017. Ah. E be like filmtrick. I couldn’t buy anything for myself just because. I probably spent an aggregate of like 15k on myself throughout the year – and half of that went to food – you know, me saying, I want to treat myself to a nice meal so I carry myself to The Place. The Place o. LOL. If I count all the i-can’t-afford-this’s that I said this year ehn. Bruh. My phone packed up in December last year, momsy borrowed me her tab to use for a while, guess who is still using the tab one year later? When I think of how this year went, finance-wise, I say God was the only one that provided. Then again, why am I surprised? He provides even for the sparrows, and I, Motunrayo, am worth more than a thousand sparrows. Tell me whose father they born to stop God’s provision? Who?
2017 was a year of ‘Challenge-Accepted’. It was almost like everything I even THOUGHT about doing, I just went and did it. I took 3 examinations, supported the organizing team for a TEDx conference, organized my own TEDxWomen conference, and still did my yearly Relief Project. I changed units at work, got thrown into the deep end at the new unit, and I STILL survived. Gbera.
I met a man. Sweet as sugar, tender as a dove. My goodness. I know first-hand what it means to be treated like a queen. Bruh e sweet die. See, I have not fully joined ‘This Man’ Twitter but I will, very, very soon, and boy do I plan to milk it!
One day, someone tweeted about a Bible Study Group and I said I wanted in. Best decision of my entire 2017. Look at God showing me things, doing things to me, with me. Teaching me, Pruning me, Molding me. The very essence of who I am, who I was created to be. I can’t lie. Some days I missed Bible Study, but every time I opened the group, I was edified. Filled up. I started talking to people about Jesus, about the Bible. I started correlating Biblical examples to real life happenings. Best part is, it isn’t even over. I Am. So. Pumped.
PreciousHeart Omolaraeni Amajor-Lawson- even though you went and married a man, you did not leave me for once. I love you, Baby Girl. You are everything to me.
Toluwaleyi – you don’t have sense but would I have it any other way?
Eromo – You come through for me, every time, without fail. Also, I am so proud of you. I’ll say it every day until I can’t anymore.
Oluwatobi – Ah. Tobi. Of all the gems, you are the gem-est. (Im)patiently waiting for your unveil. Word will not be heard.
Moji – I love you babe, for everything you are.
Kofo – You Superwoman! You absolutely amazing, incredibly beautiful goddess of a woman. I wish you all the joy you bring me, and in multiples too. Thank you for everything. God bless you.
2017 wasn’t a bad year. It was a year of growth, of learning. It was tough, but it was worth it.
2018, I’m ready. Let’s RUMBLE!