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This is weird.

Those first three words came first because I’m usually a very reserved person and find it difficult to share my personal life with another person, talk less the general public. The night before I wrote this I had a war within myself on if I should or shouldn’t write. So yeah, it feels weird that I finally decided to.

The year began with me getting a call from my mom that my father had been in an accident. When I got the news I was scared for two reasons. The first being that I could’ve lost my old man just like that and the second being that I, as the first son, would then be saddled with a shitload of responsibility that I wasn’t even ready for. My father survived the trauma even though he had to endure pain unlike any he had endured since when he lost his grandfather’s mud house in the civil war. He had to go through surgery to fix his fractured hipbone. We had to be at his side at the hospital during his recovery. I felt for my mom as she had to see him through the pain on most nights when he couldn’t sleep. He passed through that eventually. Three months later and he left the hospital, even though he had to be on crutches and have his movement restricted. He wasn’t happy but he had no choice. During that time I did my best to show him that I cared about his wellbeing, and  even though I know that he was barely satisfied with my effort, that’s fine. My father is a difficult man to please.

It was an election year and we had all been wary of the aftermath of the election. I had already resigned myself to whatever the outcome would be since I didn’t have a permanent voters card and couldn’t vote for anybody. I liked neither of the presidential candidates and didn’t care who won. But my indifference became annoyance when the elections got postponed. My sister was supposed to get married in March and the postponement made us shift it to April. This required a lot of readjustments and put a lot of strain on all of us. She finally got married and it wasn’t amidst chants of violence and “we no go gree” by aggrieved fans and supporters of the incumbent president, and that was fantastic, really. It could’ve been a different story.

My sister is older than I by a year. A week after her wedding I was in the sitting room watching a football match with my father when he asked me if I’d found the girl I wanted to marry. I laughed so hard. The man clearly didn’t know that his son was a hopeless case when it had to with women and relationships. I told him that I hadn’t found anybody and he proceeded to tell me about some lady he had in mind that would suit me and I laughed again. I laughed because I felt sorry for who that lady was he had in mind for me and the suffering she would go through if she got married to me. But I didn’t tell my father that. Neither did I tell him that I flirted with the idea of never getting married.

Like I said earlier, I’m usually a very reserved person who loves to stay indoors and shoot heads off enemy soldiers on my gaming device instead of going to hang out with friends or colleagues, so it was quite a decision for me to be at TPL5. I like to think that I’m a mystery on twitter but I still harboured fears of being recognized and slandered by a few overzealous individuals. Fortunately none of that happened. I enjoyed the event the best way I could. Met a few people I had only chatted with previously and recognized a whole lot more. Watching these guys walk and talk made them seem a whole lot harmless than the personalities they portrayed on the social media, and that taught me a huge lesson.

Most of the reviews before mine have been quite touching and a few moved me to tears, and that’s something, since I can’t remember the last time I shed any tears, but I decided to make mine lighter than I had planned to. I had my good days and very bad days, and there were days I just wanted the bloody aliens to come and wipe us all off the earth because I just couldn’t continue existing and didn’t want to take my own life. But in the end I managed to go through those bad days and look forward to better days.

I made a few more friends online this year, even though I know I might never meet some of them. While others were trying to #SeizeTheBae I was mostly interested in seizing my peace of mind and assured myself that any bae that had to be seized would only cause me more problems in my head. On the other hand, I let go of a few strained relationships, people who I used to be cool with but somehow it all went downhill. Some of them might read this so I want to use this to apologize and say, It wasn’t you… It was me.

In the end, 2015 was a good year. It wasn’t what I expected but I keep telling myself that a lot of people had it worse than I did. This is to hoping that 2016 will be better.

At the end of it all, just like my good Sir, Sensei @ShifuPhemmy would tweet every morning at the beginning of another glorious day on his timeline…

#WeFamzTheLord

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You read like a robot learning to feel for the first time. I really like it. Made me smile a lot. Happy 2016 in advance bro. We famz the Lord? LOL actually yes.

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