First off, I’ve been reading the 2014 reviews since Day One and I was like
Seriously. Quite deep.
As Unku Efe decided not to ask me to write, I decided to write anyways.
The Audacity of Hope
That was the theme of this year.
Hope that things get better;
Then hope that things don’t get worse;
Then hope that you survive when you hit rock bottom so hard it feels like your spirit is shattered into a million slivers.
I guess I can split this year into 3 parts:
First, Audacity to Hope
I started the year on a determined note. I had just lost my job in Nov 2013 and was determined to show the twats that I could do better. I started applying with a vengeance. Anything and everything that fit what I wanted. I sent my CV to any emails supplied.
Day in, day out. With each application sent, my confidence grew that in the first quarter, I would once again be employed.
Life sat back with a great big LOL at that though.
Then, Hope Denied
That saying that hope denied is a terrible thing is an understatement.
Here I was, it was May, I had lost 13 kilos through dieting and the horror that is Shaun T’s T25.
I had also attended 13 interviews. From small startups who took a look at my CV and decided they couldn’t pay me to Access Bank who said I was the best candidate they interviewed and promptly went for someone else (who funny enough turned out to be my good friend Osi).
Frustration set in. Then UNILAG told me that since I had not finished my project on time, my studentship had elapsed. No masters graduation for me.
You know when you are depressed, life becomes dreary. Lethargy sets in. You don’t think anything is worth it again.
I mean, why bother? I’m only going to get rejected anyways.
I stopped working out and my weight ballooned again. Stopped going out. Stopped interacting with people.
Those were dark days.
“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
August came. My good friend asked if I’d gotten a job. I said no.
He asked for my CV on Sunday. I got interviewed on Tuesday and I was asked to resume immediately.
Y’all don’t understand.
I got a job in 3 days. 3. Fleeting. Days.
I had gone for several interviews. Had cried in night vigils both in church and in my room. Had complained and whined and talked and screamed.
And God just sat looking at me like “Son, when you are done learning what I need you to learn, you’ll get what you want.”
God needed me to come back to Him. I had forgotten that He is my Source. I felt I was invincible and he had to show me by letting awon aiye play with me like a Rubik’s cube that I was nothing without Him. It was hard but looking back, I needed it.
2014 broke me. I hit rock bottom and passed it. I was broke with N20 in the bank. My life seemed like it was going nowhere and people told me as much.
If not for some of my friends who were like God sent angels, I would have gone off the deep end. Piece of advice: always have a support system. You may think you don’t need people but man wasn’t designed to be alone. I’d love to list but I’m afraid of forgetting someone. I’ll just say if you were there for me this year, with your kind words and your help and money (because mans was brokeeee) God will never ever stop blessing you for me.
Now 2014 is ending and God has been good. I started working in August and got 2 more offers within a month. I rejected both because I felt like I was finally home.
Then an offer I had been waiting for since March clicked. And in January I will start consulting for one of Nigeria’s biggest telecoms companies. I started working out again and I’ve lost 5 kilos. Small start but I’m back on the road!
One thing I took from this year is this: Never lose hope. I’ve read a couple of reviews where the writers are still in that problem that weighs them down. I’m not in the clear myself, but I know not to give up. God loves you and will never abandon you. Your job is to hope against hope. Never give up. Keep at it till His plan for you finally comes to pass.
If you need someone to talk to, email me firstname.lastname@example.org. Having someone to talk to sometimes helps.
I’m not where I want to be. But I thank God for where I am.
To 2015. I raise my katana and say “Come on you big buffoon! Lez go diaaaa!!”
Peace , love and chocolate flavoured protein shakes.
PS: If you want to do photoshoots for fashion, events, portraits I’m running a promo till the end of Jan 2015 😀 use the email above to contact me.
This review melted me. Probably because I know everything in it is true. That part about God humbling you and taking a personal interest in you to teach you stuff? I was there, man. For 4 years. And I cherish those days in my life more than anything! Oh and the part about being there for your friends when they are broke? Cannot overemphasize that. This world is cold man.
Asides all this, Kofo is an amazing photog. He will always be the official photog for the Twitter Premier League (TPL) until he becomes too big to do it. Thank you for sharing Kofo!