If I had to describe 2013 in one word, it would be “scary” because for the most part it was. In school, I struggled through Haydn piano pieces working my heart out then I’d have a nervous breakdown on exam day right in front of these professors that breathe in Mozart and Vivaldi. Even though Dr Albert endlessly teases me about sounding like Rihanna (in the Classical music world this is far from a compliment) he still places Handel and Webber pieces into my waiting palms only to watch me crumble into a bumbling contemporary soprano on performance day (with a sinister smile on his face). Orchestra classes playing the violin were a lot easier as Dr Stephen was always on my team urging me on even on the days my fingers collided and my shoulders sagged, even on the days I couldn’t read the notes on the sheets fast enough. The one thing I can lay firm claim to, re: school, is my A in music theory class proving my theory that books are a lot more merciful than instruments.
Then there was this conversation with Tomi about love, tears and everything unfair where she told me “Maybe you need to stop looking—stop getting ideas” and all I could do was take another bite of a burger that tasted like rubber because it’s difficult for this recovering hedonist and unrepentantly shameless romantic to stop looking for a strong arm, kiss on the forehead, long walks and dreamy laughter. It’s difficult to forgive Ola for not loving me in the way that I hoped he would but I do and after crying so hard I thought I would die in a claustrophobic bathroom, I forgive Ore and I forgive myself too and I learn to stop looking and for the first time in my life I start enjoying my own company, singing awkwardly high notes in the shower, throw out my relaxer, start running, putting make-up on, fussing over nail polish, drinking a little too much coffee, laughing hard and swimming in the ocean of grace that is God’s. Letting His more than enough love be enough for me…
Since the ASUU strike began, I’ve been managing content for a site and being the CEO’s assistant (it’s not glamorous or anything, trust me). Recently I took on another job writing 3 times a week for a magazine. Blogging, watching sappy movies, swimming, meeting up with friends, studying my Bible the few times I am not fagged out. I love it, my life, the richness of it (it’s NOT perfect AT ALL) and the simple pleasures of Google Hangouts with amazing people like Robbrecht who believe in me even when I don’t believe in myself, girls like Tomi, Kovie, and Moyin who are crazy enough to be friends with me, even the oddballs like wandering Bankole who really listens to me voice my insecurities about my music and doesn’t just pat me on the back with the usual “You’ll be fine” or “You’ll figure it out somehow”
I’m looking forward to 2014: fresh starts, less fear, more love of God and people so that at the end of the year when it’s time to sum it up in one word, that one word will be “adventurous”.
Ibukun…. the very name is musical (I would love to hear it played on a talking drum lol) Thank you for blessing us with your short music score tonight.
Today we had a bit of light/short posts. Kinda like the half time rest for the month. If you haven’t caught up, you can read the rest of the 2013 reviews so far HERE. See you tomorrow 🙂