I finally found the answers to the questions – “How bad can it get?” and “What’s the worst that can happen?”
You know what the definition of irony is though? He coming all the way from America to love me and then meeting and falling in love with another Americana here. Then they both go back leaving me confused and heartbroken.
Then he says “we can be friends and work together, I love you”
Irony is knowing that I gave it my everything but still I wasn’t good enough or woman enough.
So I’m left lost, hurt and dazed, head spinning like a revolving door at the airport, confused but never having the chance to stand still long enough to figure out why.
Irony is losing everything right after the biggest job in my career. No office. No cash, and having to start over from scratch.
Irony is me. My life. Irony is my 2016.
Irony mostly because I can be living through the worst days of my life and still go on like everything is right with the world.
I am – Captain ‘put up an act’,
Miss ‘Fake Happy till you be Happy’,
aka Zizi Forever Happy,
aka Ized Praise God through the storm.
If I were a super hero, my super powers would be “unlooking” Life. It is a fine art and I am the world’s leading expert.
This 2016 though!!! This was that year that tested ALL my alleged super powers!
The year where “How is your mum?” became the hardest question I have ever had to answer in my life.
What do you say? How do you answer? Fine?? She is not fine, She has cancer!
So I mumble something along the lines of “she’s alive” (and stop myself from adding – “but in bad pain, so much that we are using morphine to keep calm. Chemotherapy is a bitch, she’s losing her hair, and she is depressed”).
And then they say “Thank God”. Urghh!
I literally stopped taking my friends’ calls because I couldn’t deal with one more “How is your Mum?”
Ironically though, 2016 was the year I truly valued the question – “Ized, How are you?”
Early 2016 was bad to be honest, and when it was bad, it was really really bad.
But then, tides turned, I hit rockbottom and the only way out was up and so ALL the way UP I went.
I completed a Merger and Acquisition with a UK company.
Moved office to the Island. Gave up my “CEO” title for “Project Manager” yet earning more than I earned as CEO (who title epp?)
Running Digital Media for some of the biggest brands in Nigeria.
Consulting for the highest levels of government.
I entered the year 2016 with huge business and personal debts, I am leaving the year without a single Kobo owed. (and I didn’t even have to do MMM).
It’s also the year I probably had my best ideas, #ServiceSwap.co, Evolve.Press and EVAssist.com. Don’t worry, next year you will get familiar.
2016 taught me to forgive, let things go. Life will go on regardless.
2016 taught me Resilience, keeping your eyes on the goal even if you are your only cheerleader. One day, if you keep at it long enough, things will give.
It taught me that debts will cripple you, whether or not you got them for a great solid reason. If you can, never borrow.
It was the year that I got much more closer to God, because you can’t do Nigeria on your own. It will literally kill you.
It was the year I valued Family
– the very crazy (albeit very loving) one that I was born into
– the Extended family- Cousins, Aunts, Uncles (they came through for us this year. The support and love were beyond amazing).
– last and most especially the family that choose me – Olumide Ogungbemi, Ayodele Ogunde, Chinye Awunor, Tunde Olajide, Davis Ebenezer, Ayodeji Moshood, Ubi Kenae.
They taught me that giving up was not an option, and that family isn’t just blood – it is sweat and faith and trust. It was mostly because of your faith in me and in the dream that I kept going. We made it through yeah?
And to Papi, World’s greatest, Purpose driven 9-year-old. I love you.
I prayed for rough roads in 2016. (sigh). Not making that same mistake this year.
Our 2017 will be smooth. Very smooth.
Here’s to Conquerors and their Conquerings,
Here’s to Resilience and Long lasting Victory.
Here’s to Rest, Ease and a great 2017.
May ALL Our roads be smooth.
*clinks glass* I salute your courage in going through this and penning this review.