Need I introduce the seductive witch? (@rhaiharnah)
Here goes.. My disjointed thoughts.. My 2011.
A Personal promise to be better,do better.
Fresh ink for my pen,power flowed in my words. I was whole. I was Inspired.
Peace. Joy. Light
Then a darkness and death.
The light went out with a friend’s smile.
I lost him in a Shoot Out. My mentor,my personal Star. A victim of Life’s cruel way, of a system in ruins.
Confusion. Shock. Denial. Searing Pain.
My vision blurred by uncontrollable tears.
I felt for the first time the true meaning of loss. A huge part of me went down 6feet.
The beacon of hope dimmed that day.
I forgave death, I could rejoice for him now. I found strength in the art of others. In the dimple in my mothers smile. In the consoling touch of all of us grieving.
I found meaning in the jargon I pored over in my books.
In the spirit of a survivor, a Sphinx,her tiger blood. I found a sister. I found friendship.
Then Death came again for another of my Beloved,he wasn’t ready. Unscathed from the ruins of a Car squeezed beyond recognition. A miracle.
I found myself smiling again.
My brain shutdown for weeks.
Most Tortuous Terrain of my Career path.
I became slave to caffeine,to sleep.
Hungry. Battered. Beaten by the pouring rain.
Mentally whipped by grades that didn’t match.
Tasked beyond imagination,beyond reason
I found Knowledge in my niche amidst priceless friends. We found success together. Made the colours fly together.
A long break and longer hours of reflection..
Stripped to my skin by my conscience..I went into a voluntary rehab,A spiritual awakening.
I found unconditional love at home…where my family gave and gave..only asked that I stay alive.
I found that Love IS Motherhood. Her gentle words are my reason. My fulfilment.
I found Divine guidance in my Tasbh(Rosary) ,each bead a blessing. In the unfathomable Mercy of the Most-High.
I learnt sacrifice.
I found purity. Of Body,of mind,of Soul.
Words were again my compass… They led me. I found gold.
I experienced the Gift of Giving..
I learnt to take equally and keep in trust..
I found happiness.. The kind that conquers, the kind that fills the heart to the brim.
I got brave enough to bare my scars,to get new ones. My medals.
I found hurt. I felt pain and still an overwhelming love.
I found that the Experience is in the fleeting moments….and that Life IS the element of surprise when its least expected.
Warrior. Survivor. Woman. Strong.
I felt like completing that last line so much… Regular scheduling resumes tomorrow at noon with Kovie 😀 Don’t carry last